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  1. #61
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    I agree with Mia in that too many women make too much whoo-ha about having the 'ideal birth'....

    Fair enough, if you have an idea about how you want to birth that's great. But be flexible and as long as you and bubba are safe and healthy don't whinge when things don't go 100% your way. And don't go
    Bragging when things do go 100% your way, no-one likes a toff. It's about the prize at the end, not the journey.

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  3. #62
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    It always baffles me, why anyone cares what others do.

    If its not affecting you directly, why give a shiz? Not your body, not your child, not your life.

    And why do people need to gloat and brag and get validation for what they have chosen? In all honesty, as rude as it sounds, if a woman approached me gloating about her birth, my response would be "so?"

    I dont get people, which is probably why its best i dont have a lot of them in my life.

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  5. #63
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I agree with Mia in that too many women make too much whoo-ha about having the 'ideal birth'....

    Fair enough, if you have an idea about how you want to birth that's great. But be flexible and as long as you and bubba are safe and healthy don't whinge when things don't go 100% your way. And don't go
    Bragging when things do go 100% your way, no-one likes a toff. It's about the prize at the end, not the journey.
    Define safe and healthy?

  6. #64
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    "It's birth as identity and it's odd."

    I've gone back for a couple of re-reads; this bit is sticking with me, and is particularly relevant to forums like this.

    Look to your signatures... this is the bit where we get to give other members a snapshot of who we are. And how many members refer to homebirthing or freebirthing in their signatures? Yes, it's a parenting forum, yes we discuss birth a lot. But I think she's hit the nail on the head when she says some people allow their births to become their identity.

    She's not talking about those who have suffered birth trauma; of course that's going to affect your identity, change you, shape the person you become. She's talking about those women who choose a certain kind of birth and then behave as though that makes them a certain kind of person. It doesn't.

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  8. #65
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    "It's birth as identity and it's odd."

    I've gone back for a couple of re-reads; this bit is sticking with me, and is particularly relevant to forums like this.

    Look to your signatures... this is the bit where we get to give other members a snapshot of who we are. And how many members refer to homebirthing or freebirthing in their signatures? Yes, it's a parenting forum, yes we discuss birth a lot. But I think she's hit the nail on the head when she says some people allow their births to become their identity.

    She's not talking about those who have suffered birth trauma; of course that's going to affect your identity, change you, shape the person you become. She's talking about those women who choose a certain kind of birth and then behave as though that makes them a certain kind of person. It doesn't.
    But can't an empowering birth be just as life changing as a disempowering one? Look at those people who climb Mt Everest, those people who I don't know you know what I mean no one tells them they shouldn't feel how they feel no one tells them to stop bragging or feeling good about it. Why the need to tell women how to feel about their births positive or negative? No one tells the women in the Cs can be positive thread to stop bragging about it?

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    Well, when the time comes that I'm having another baby you guys are going to bombarded with my birth story and I will be gloating. Why? Because to get it I will have overcome the general belief that a home birth is dangerous, I will have managed to say screw you to doctors and do it my way and damn straight I'll be happy with myself!

    My happiness with my experience won't have anything to do with anyone else and what they do... But I'll be proud of myself for sure.

    I don't think everyone should birth a particular way. I just think every woman should be allowed to make the choice for herself. I don't care if that means you choose a caesarean or a free birth.

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  12. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    As for the being pinned down for exams etc ... That is disgusting, I honestly don't understand how it happens (and not blaming the mothers here at all) my dh would not allow any exam to happen if I was saying no.
    During ny ds's birth I received a 2nd degree episiotomy, the first I knew about it was when I felt the scissors cut me.

    Fob saw the ob getting the scissors so knew what he was intending to do and said nothing.


    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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  14. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    "It's birth as identity and it's odd."

    I've gone back for a couple of re-reads; this bit is sticking with me, and is particularly relevant to forums like this.

    Look to your signatures... this is the bit where we get to give other members a snapshot of who we are. And how many members refer to homebirthing or freebirthing in their signatures? Yes, it's a parenting forum, yes we discuss birth a lot. But I think she's hit the nail on the head when she says some people allow their births to become their identity.

    She's not talking about those who have suffered birth trauma; of course that's going to affect your identity, change you, shape the person you become. She's talking about those women who choose a certain kind of birth and then behave as though that makes them a certain kind of person. It doesn't.
    Why is it odd? There are people who put their c-section births in their sig too. Is that odd as well? I think people put their homebirths in because they have to fight so much harder, and pay so much more for them. If anyone had to fight tooth and nail for what should be a basic, accepted right they should be proud of that achievement. Not even the homebirth on its own, but the fight to have it, to preserve it as a right.

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  16. #69
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    I want to say so many things but don't know where to start. All I'll say is the lady is an idiot. If you don't know WHY people have plans for the delivery of their placenta, it shows me you know absolutely nothing about giving birth. If you think giving birth vaginally means you lady bits aren't intact, you know absolutely nothing about womens bodies and child birth.
    If you know nothing, you should write nothing.

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  18. #70
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    But how is she any different.

    She defines herself as a woman who loves doctors and wont go for all that birth plan , placenta plan stuff.

    she is allowed to talk about her birth but would rather poke herself with a sausage, then listen to a different one.

    She has a platform in which, she can freely discuss her birth..she is proud of it and she is proud of how she handled it, and good on her. But why is hers ok to talk about and not someone elses.

    Some women feel pride in how they manage their house, how clean they keep the car, how their marriage is and how they birthed.
    You dont have to care, but why do we want to take away their right to talk about it.

    It should not be us against them and I feel that Mia is not helping this gap. In fact she is taking a sledgehammer and widening it.

    so what if that lady had a plan for her placenta. Its not my type of thing, but man, its her body and if ti helps her to feel great about her birth, who the frig cares.

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