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  1. #51
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    Is it smugness? Me just saying how the birth went is often interpreted as smug when it is simply a factual account of what happened. People sharing their drug and intervention free stories is not a reflection of how people feel about other types of birth. And it is no other person's place to tell anyone how the should feel.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Is it smugness? Me just saying how the birth went is often interpreted as smug when it is simply a factual account of what happened. People sharing their drug and intervention free stories is not a reflection of how people feel about other types of birth. And it is no other person's place to tell anyone how the should feel.
    I am not saying you specifically - you can be proud/happy with your birth without being smug about it, you can talk about it till the cows come home without coming across as smug. But there *are* women who are smug about it, just like there are women who are smug about everything else to do with babies and that is who Mia F is talking about.

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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    Sometimes when you have had a birth with a less than desirable outcome it feels that everyone who had a great birth is smug but really what is smug about talking about what worked for you if you managed to have a great birth? I used everyones experiences, good and bad to help me try to get the birth I really wanted- which was ironically also to ensure the best outcome for my babies.
    Maybe, and I did have not pleasant birthing experiences - maybe it feels like smugness, but women have put up on here that other women have said things like "a c/section isn't a real birth" = stuff like that - that is smug!

    I have no problem with people talking about their great freebirths/homebirths and I don't feel offended by it at all, I like to hear about them.

    But a lot of the time its the *way* that things are said. And I'm not saying that most women do it - because they don't, but there are a few and we all know there are a few, that make other women feel less for having c/sections etc.

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  7. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Did you guys even read the article??? She wasn't talking about birth trauma, she was talking about the " I had a lotus birth and it was so magical" type people who put down all the other ways of birthing because it wasn't natural! That is what she is saying, she isn't talking about birthing that went badly
    I agree completely.. I understand that some of you are offended by how you understood the article but I read it as exactly this ^^

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  9. #55
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    Why does birth matter and not just the health of the baby? Because a mother does not cease to matter simply because she becomes a mother, that's why.

    I truly believe that in most cases a mother can get both a healthy baby AND be happy with the whole experience herself. Why does it have to be either/or? What makes a birth experience good will depend on the individual woman. For me, it's not having a caesarean and not being treated like a foolish child by doctors.

    I figure healthy baby is a given when women mention their wants for a birth... So I don't even bother mentioning it. It's what every mother wants. The actual experience wanted differs though so that is why I elaborate on that.

    I believe that healthy baby is great... But healthy mother is also important and after my caesarean with my daughter, I was not mentally healthy at all. I deserve to be able to do what I can to ensure my mental health is taken care of. I deserve to do what I can to make sure my physical health is taken care of too.

    It's interesting that Mia didn't bother to use surgical birth or drugged up birth when taking about the types of births people are fanatical about. Ive seen many women on bh determined to have both... Just as I am determined to have a hbac next time. Why are only natural birthers targeted?

    Ah well... The woman has never really presented herself as intelligent or fair so I guess it's no real surprise...

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  11. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Did you guys even read the article??? She wasn't talking about birth trauma, she was talking about the " I had a lotus birth and it was so magical" type people who put down all the other ways of birthing because it wasn't natural! That is what she is saying, she isn't talking about birthing that went badly
    This is how I read it too, and tbh I found it a refreshing article.

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub

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  13. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caviar View Post
    I've never been a fan of Mia Freedman for various reasons but I must admit, she really nailed it to the wall with this splendid article in today's paper.

    This resonated with me on many levels as during and after my pregnancy I experienced a lot of what she wrote about, especially so when it was discovered I had a C-section. It wasn't enough that my baby was healthy. According to some, I had "taken a short cut" or "got out of it [the pain of a vaginal birth] easy". I will never forget the anger I felt when confronted by the anti-hospital brigade. And even some at, ironically enough, a place said to promote all births.

    To have this experience so eloquently laid out was a huge drink of water. I hope my next door neighbour has read it. I'm tempted to put a copy in her letterbox.

    Why indeed are healthy babies just not enough for some mothers? I have often wondered this.

    Just putting it out there. Thank you.
    OMG!! Your baby is here safe and sound! And that IS all that matters, it really gets on my guns about people who get mad at another person for making their choice! I had two vaginal births but I also understand a woman's decision to have a caesar! People should back the f*** up and have a look a the situation, if both mother and baby are safe and happy that that is all that matters! If you have an unhappy mother the baby will be unsettled! Gah!!!

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    Maybe I have missed the point of this article??? Isnt she talking about people who have had a vb (natural) looking down on women who have had an elective or emergency ceaser??? As if they have missed out on some parental right of passage?

    I would love to know if the lady she met at the BBQ was having her first baby - we all know how things never go to plan with having children!

    I have had two children - both vb, no drugs but I don't go around introducing myself as if it defines who I am. It doesnt make me better than someone who had a cs, used drugs etc

    Like Mia I love doctors (maybe because I have had few very bad experiences but mostly because I have been blessed with some amazing docs in my lifetime.). As for the being pinned down for exams etc ... That is disgusting, I honestly don't understand how it happens (and not blaming the mothers here at all) my dh would not allow any exam to happen if I was saying no. (sorry birth story) ... After dd was born the doctor came in to do my stitches I said no I wasnt ready come back in half hour when I ha finished feeding - my wishes were respected. I can remember a very uncomfortable exam with ds midwife had her fingers inside during contraction and it was genuinely awful but I was treated with dignity and respect.

    As for the whole "intact" thing ... I have had two vb, two lots of severe tearing and two lots of stitches everything is as it should be down there. I can't even feel the scar at all. I think these kinds of comments come from women who may have had cs do don't necessarily know the amazing healing powers of the lady bits

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    I think its quite ironic that she is being so competitive while banging on about not being competitive.

    She has so much interest in others births, she wrote a column about it...
    Why are women made to feel bad about wanting to choose how they give birth?
    I am so glad that Mia was happy with her births and saw fit to write a column about it, I wish she would afford other women the same luxury, to be proud of their births.

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    Why do people care how other people got their kid out..I don't care!!

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