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  1. #411
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    Women blaming?? What the?

    I am also getting the vibe from this thread that it should be a woman's choice to birth any way she feels fit, I agree with lambjam on this - I am freedom of choice to a certain extent. But when its high risk and seriously not in the best interest of mum or bub then that is where I think medical intervention becomes necessary. Even if the mother doesn't want it. p

    I guess that makes me not a feminist - I am devo.

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  3. #412
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    Don't know if Tara moss' reply to Mia's article has been posted here yet

    Love Tara's writing. It's always so balanced and kind and a wonderful contrast to Mia's rabid drivel. I particularly loved her response to Mia's rant about breastfeeding

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  5. #413
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Pre-conceived expectations? Really? I went in without any expectations. Well, no, I guess I expected to come out of birth ok. I didn't.

    I don't think women (and men) should be expected to just take what happens to them during birth with good humour and an attitude of 'oh well, at least you are alive'.

    Ack, I don't think I can read this anymore. It's too upsetting.

  6. #414
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndigoJ View Post
    I had no pre-conceived notions either. I certainly did not expect to have my Vagina ripped open by a Dr every is telling me i should trust? My expectation was a baby. I got my baby, im so happy with that. But does that mean im not allowed to feel pi$$ed of with the fact that i was quite literally ripped into two? My birth plan with my second was to tell the midwives that i was NOT going to pushed around again. My birth plan was everything to me with my second birth so for someone to tell me that im a 'birthzilla' because i had one can stick it.

    I agree with everything you've said here - you have every right to feel the way you felt. I personally wouldn't want to be pushed around either, that's bullying and it's not acceptable - but am I qualified to overturn a decision made by a doctor or a midwife? I wouldn't want to even try

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Pre-conceived expectations? Really? I went in without any expectations. Well, no, I guess I expected to come out of birth ok. I didn't.

    I don't think women (and men) should be expected to just take what happens to them during birth with good humour and an attitude of 'oh well, at least you are alive'.

    Ack, I don't think I can read this anymore. It's too upsetting.
    I am not getting that from the article at all?? She is saying birth doesn't give women the right to look down their noses at others. She is not saying birth trauma isn't real and to suck it up.

    But I am also getting that there is a long history of MF writing against homebirths etc. I haven't read any of the other articles so I maybe I would feel worse about it if I had.

    Hugs to anyone who suffered a birth trauma - it is very real and very devastating and something noone should have to go through.

  8. #416
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    Quote Originally Posted by wrena View Post
    Don't know if Tara moss' reply to Mia's article has been posted here yet

    Love Tara's writing. It's always so balanced and kind and a wonderful contrast to Mia's rabid drivel. I particularly loved her response to Mia's rant about breastfeeding
    It won't open!

  9. #417
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post
    I was more speaking about the feeling of being ripped off financially - if you are paying for something or a service you have an expectation - I'm not even saying that it was set too high I was trying to say that it may be why they were feeling the way they were because there was an expectation of a service. I wasn't speaking about the woman and never referred to her specifically in this situation soley either - I think I even said "they" several times because I don't think the woman was out of line or in any way at fault or responsible for anything....
    Expectation of a service!! Are you for real?? They are there to safely HELP you deliver a baby. Not tell you that your baby will die if you dont do as they say, not to stick their hand up your vagina to see whether you are following their timeline, not to jab you with needles that you might not want, they are not there to tear your body apart because "you want a healthy baby dont you?". They are not there to BULLY you into doing something convenient for them.

    I didnt pay financially for my Dr (public system) so do i get less of a service. I sure did get ripped though, and they way i was treated was disgusting. So for someone to tell me its MY fault i feel this way because i expected to come out of birth without harm being done to me, infuriates me.

    Im with Ana, im out this is distressing.

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  11. #418
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post
    I agree with everything you've said here - you have every right to feel the way you felt. I personally wouldn't want to be pushed around either, that's bullying and it's not acceptable - but am I qualified to overturn a decision made by a doctor or a midwife? I wouldn't want to even try
    Well i did. I overturned their decision. Ripping me open wasnt good enough, they wanted to slice me open instead. I told them to stick their decision. I VBed my second baby after 4th degree tears. I AM qualified enough to have a say with what happens to my body, and that is the reason for birth plans.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    They had no expectations, no plans and put full trust in their medical team. It wasn't until it came to light that my nephew suffered as a direct result of his birth that they became aware of how wrong that medical team were during the pregnancy and birth.
    Are they going to follow it up legally? If it was neglect from the medical persons involved I would certainly be getting it investigated - there is a duty of care they are owed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post
    Are they going to follow it up legally? If it was neglect from the medical persons involved I would certainly be getting it investigated - there is a duty of care they are owed.
    Ha! My drs falsified the reports so there is no proof that they damaged me.

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