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  1. #401
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    My SIL put trust in the professionals. 3 months later with a screaming baby who was in obvious physical pain, they discovered the birth harmed him, and 12 months later my brother and his wife are bitter and disappointed and feel ripped off financially and emotionally.
    How awful for them

    Like I said above though - there are so many factors and ways that a labour and birth can change and progress or not progress and I'm not saying that the professional did the right thing - but maybe it was the best decision that person felt like they could make at that time - which is exactly what they get paid for.

    No one can promise a healthy baby or problem free delivery you know? It's just not that simple I don't think.

    They have every right to feel their feelings - but they are feeling ripped off financially and emotionally because it didn't go a certain way - or met their expectation of what would happen - this is where I agree with other people in saying that the likelyhood of feeling this is lessened without pre-conceived expectations.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    ETA "Thestoe ushers"? Good grief autocorrect! "These wishes"
    Lol I didn't even notice that!

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    Quote Originally Posted by mumma inky View Post
    As a nurse you should understand that a midwife probably is the most experienced to resus a baby. Their area of expertise is babies and they receive ongoing education on a yearly basis regarding this exact issue.. And as a nurse i can say that those "three years" at uni (most midwives would accumulate another two years on top of their general nursing) mean nothing compared to clinical education... Of which a midwives far outweighs a doctor.

    Totally disagree. A dr spends many years at school, college then medical school and an ob does a further few years. A midwife has a few years training to get a nursing degree and further training in low risk obstetrics. The 2 are totally not comparable. The midwife cannot manage high risk pregnancies and complications and should be transferring the care over to the dr when things don't go to plan.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    Totally disagree. A dr spends many years at school, college then medical school and an ob does a further few years. A midwife has a few years training to get a nursing degree and further training in low risk obstetrics. The 2 are totally not comparable. The midwife cannot manage high risk pregnancies and complications and should be transferring the care over to the dr when things don't go to plan.

    That's what I thought happend also - any complication especially resulting in a c-section scenario should be handed over to the dr to make that decision and to progress from there?

  6. #405
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post

    They have every right to feel their feelings - but they are feeling ripped off financially and emotionally because it didn't go a certain way - or met their expectation of what would happen - this is where I agree with other people in saying that the likelyhood of feeling this is lessened without pre-conceived expectations.
    OMG. I had no pre-conceived expectations for my first birth so how does that work?

    There are many studies that show the most influencing factor in a womans feelings about her birth (both positive and negative) focus on how they were treated by their care providers not on any pre-conceived idea as to how their birth should go.

    I'm so sick of reading the women-blaming in this thread it's disgusting.

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  8. #406
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    Ana Gram is offline 2008 WINNER - straight shooter award
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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post

    They have every right to feel their feelings - but they are feeling ripped off financially and emotionally because it didn't go a certain way - or met their expectation of what would happen - this is where I agree with other people in saying that the likelyhood of feeling this is lessened without pre-conceived expectations.
    Pre-conceived expectations? Really? I went in without any expectations. Well, no, I guess I expected to come out of birth ok. I didn't.

    I don't think women (and men) should be expected to just take what happens to them during birth with good humour and an attitude of 'oh well, at least you are alive'.

    Ack, I don't think I can read this anymore. It's too upsetting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post
    How awful for them

    Like I said above though - there are so many factors and ways that a labour and birth can change and progress or not progress and I'm not saying that the professional did the right thing - but maybe it was the best decision that person felt like they could make at that time - which is exactly what they get paid for.

    No one can promise a healthy baby or problem free delivery you know? It's just not that simple I don't think.

    They have every right to feel their feelings - but they are feeling ripped off financially and emotionally because it didn't go a certain way - or met their expectation of what would happen - this is where I agree with other people in saying that the likelyhood of feeling this is lessened without pre-conceived expectations.
    I had no pre-conceived notions either. I certainly did not expect to have my Vagina ripped open by a Dr every is telling me i should trust? My expectation was a baby. I got my baby, im so happy with that. But does that mean im not allowed to feel pi$$ed off with the fact that i was quite literally ripped into two? My birth plan with my second was to tell the midwives that i was NOT going to pushed around again. My birth plan was everything to me with my second birth so if someone was to tell me that im a 'birthzilla' because i had one can stick it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    OMG. I had no pre-conceived expectations for my first birth so how does that work?

    There are many studies that show the most influencing factor in a womans feelings about her birth (both positive and negative) focus on how they were treated by their care providers not on any pre-conceived idea as to how their birth should go.

    I'm so sick of reading the women-blaming in this thread it's disgusting.
    I was more speaking about the feeling of being ripped off financially - if you are paying for something or a service you have an expectation - I'm not even saying that it was set too high I was trying to say that it may be why they were feeling the way they were because there was an expectation of a service. I wasn't speaking about the woman and never referred to her specifically in this situation soley either - I think I even said "they" several times because I don't think the woman was out of line or in any way at fault or responsible for anything...
    I understand they have every right to want and expect a healthy baby if everything leading up to that point had indicated this was the case and the dissapointment and misunderstanding of how it didn't end up that way - the point I was trying to make is that no one can promise that and I personally never expect perfection in such an unpredictable environment and situation that giving birth is.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Gram View Post
    Ack, I don't think I can read this anymore. It's too upsetting.
    Ditto


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    Quote Originally Posted by ACS84 View Post
    How awful for them

    Like I said above though - there are so many factors and ways that a labour and birth can change and progress or not progress and I'm not saying that the professional did the right thing - but maybe it was the best decision that person felt like they could make at that time - which is exactly what they get paid for.

    No one can promise a healthy baby or problem free delivery you know? It's just not that simple I don't think.

    They have every right to feel their feelings - but they are feeling ripped off financially and emotionally because it didn't go a certain way - or met their expectation of what would happen - this is where I agree with other people in saying that the likelyhood of feeling this is lessened without pre-conceived expectations.
    They had no expectations, no plans and put full trust in their medical team. It wasn't until it came to light that my nephew suffered as a direct result of his birth that they became aware of how wrong that medical team were during the pregnancy and birth.


 

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