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  1. #31
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by october View Post
    I don't think she was demeaning birth, just asking mums to stop judgment of different births
    And this bit I entirely agree with. What I don't agree with is her assertion that women should focus on any particular thing. It's simply not her place to make that call.

  2. #32
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I feel sorry for her. She has no idea how birth can be. She is scared and fearful.

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  4. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    No you misread what I mean. Just as I had trauma from my c/s I understand this happens with vb. I also understand why these women chose an elective next time around. My issue is the language. Intact, meaning nothing removed. They don't chop off anything. I guess my thinking goes to circ, where intact is well, with a foreskin.

    I wasn't intending to minimise the trauma of vb, just dislike that wording...
    I understand "intact" to mean not damaged.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    It was delivered in a crass way, too. I'm sorry it left you feeling this way
    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post

    In trying to be an advocate for one group of women, she's managed to entirely alienate another. I'm so sorry it has hurt you.
    Thank you. I don't judge how another woman chooses to birth, I'm a feminist who will advocate for a womans right to choose until my very last breath.

    The grief that I feel about DS2's birth is real and raw - I didn't get to hold him like I did hid brother and sister, I didn't get to feed him. He didn't get his mother until he was 10 days old.

    I felt like a spectator, scared, vulnerable as opposed to empowered and joyful. For me and my boy, his birth was less than what his brother and sister experienced.
    It's just so disheartening.
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 17-06-2012 at 23:37.

  6. #35
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Yeah im not convinced a cs will leave you with an unscared vagina no ones heard of adhesions?

    Anyhoo taking my risk-taking scar-free tight home/freebirthing vagina out of this thread I've done 'birth experience does matter' so many times on this forum

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    There is a right and a wrong way to say things and she just hasnt found the right way. Birth should be a choice and no woman should be made to feel bad because she has chosen to or had to birth in a certain way. She made any alternative form of birth sound selfish, dangerous and just stupid. I for one do not trust doctors. I have no love of degrees and I have great trust in my body to just do what it needs to do with minimum intervention. The idea of having anyone who I have not built a mutually trusting relationship with messing around down there just freaks me out. I will only concede to intervention if it is proved to be 100% necessary. That being said. I am not planning on telling all and sundry about my birth plans. I just believe that what makes me most comfortable will give my body the best chance to do what it needs to do. It should be the same for all women. Choose what makes you more comfortable and if things change then do what you need to do to get both mum and bub through it safely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Yeah im not convinced a cs will leave you with an unscared vagina no ones heard of adhesions?

    Anyhoo taking my risk-taking scar-free tight home/freebirthing vagina out of this thread I've done 'birth experience does matter' so many times on this forum


    I thought the article was stupid. Maybe it doesn't matter to some, and that's fine. Of course, to any parent, the objective is to end up with a healthy baby, but that doesn't give anyone the right to knock women that are proud of the way their babies got here.

    I'm very proud of my son's birth story, that I birthed him naturally, without much intervention, and I cherish the experience of doing so

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    I just want to clarify. I really do understand trauma around birth circumstances such as CS under GA, baby being taken to NICU or SCN, having to leave your child in hospital, or where serious complications are the result.

  12. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by nicoletta View Post


    I thought the article was stupid. Maybe it doesn't matter to some, and that's fine. Of course, to any parent, the objective is to end up with a healthy baby, but that doesn't give anyone the right to knock women that are proud of the way their babies got here.

    I'm very proud of my son's birth story, that I birthed him naturally, without much intervention, and I cherish the experience of doing so
    I think what she was trying to get at is there's a difference between being proud and being superior.

    I'm also very proud of my four children's births, that they were all caesareans, with maximum intervention, and I cherished my experiences too.

    I believe Mia was trying to address those people who would not view our birthing experiences as equally valid. But she did so poorly.

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    After having someone ask me about my birth and then have them go on to *correct* me on what should have happened and what I should not have consented to, I can understand where some of the frustration behind the article comes from. She identifies it as a first world problem, but she is perhaps also speaking from a position of privilege in that she has not experienced trauma in having her babies so she has not had to examine her own birth choices or more to the point, a lack of birth choices.

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