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  1. #231
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    You know, you can be pro-one type of birth and NOT be all, "women that have the opposite type of birth are uninformed twits who don't care about their babies!"

    It seriously is possible.

    I don't understand the desire to have a caesarean or avoid a vaginal birth. I don't mock it though. I don't think women who choose a caesarean are careless or selfish or any other number of things. I understand that while I can't relate to their desire, it probably feels somewhat like my desire NOT to have a caesarean... and as I don't want to be forced into another caesarean, I don't think it's fair to force them into vaginal births either.

    Obviously, evidence I've read has lead ME to interpret that homebirth is a very safe option in a low-risk pregnancy. Others will interpret the same information differently, or just find different info altogether. I believe all women have the right to choose even if it's not the choice I would personally make.

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  3. #232
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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Trooper View Post
    No not angry, i just think she is an ignorant fool. And for a self-proclaimed 'feminist' she really doesnt care much for women empowerment and choice. Her opinion doesnt impact on me in the slightest, but doesnt mean i have to like it either

    ETA - April78, i lost a baby at 8 months.... I still very much care about my experience of birth, as well as having a live baby at the end of the process. I also happen to believe that being better informed, and/or having a better birthing experience *for you* is most likely to produce a positive outcome. I dont think her loss is an excuse for her stance on birth choices at all

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    Sorry for your loss that must have been heartbreaking.

  4. #233
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    What a lot of finger typing mania over an over-analysed article. You have all done what Mia did. Got a bee in her bonnet and decided to give vent. An amusing article that I won't lose any sleep over.

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  6. #234
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by samken View Post
    I've always felt sorry for women who have c-sections.
    I absolutely loved all four of my caesarean births, and I wouldn't have changed them for the world. Please don't feel sorry for me, save that for the women who don't get to enjoy their birth of choice.

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  8. #235
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    Out of all the standard forum responses that one up above, is my fave.

    Oh wow you all just wasted so much time, over this? I am so far above you all and would never worry about something so stupid..

    Umm ok, but you just read pages and pages and just had to ad in how unaffected you are????

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  10. #236
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    I talk about my birth a lot, I think about it all the time and dont want other women to feel the same way.

    You see i wanted a c-section. Despite being 'favouable' for a vaginal birth I wanted to give birth in a controlled environment. I asked for one at every appointment and when I arrived at the hospital only 2cm dilated despite 16 hours of painful regular contractions. I was always told no, that vaginal birth was so much safer for us both and recovery would be easier.
    My son was born via vacuum extraction, 8 weeks later he still has a few scabs on his head from the force of the suction. I recieved 2nd degree tears.
    I have cried everyday since in pain and discomfort despite 2 courses of antibiotics. I have been fobbed off by doctors and dismissed as having "only" 2nd degree tears. I cant imagine being able to dtd any time soon.

    So when I talk about my experience its not with superiority at all. i just hope someone can be saved some pain with the knowledge of my experience.

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  12. #237
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    But she's not talking about ALL women who give birth. She's talking about Birthzillas.
    I have to side with this. The article (which has sarcastic tones and I don't think it should be taken seriously) is referring to a very specific type of person. I have come across the elusive 'birthzilla' and will share a couple of close, let's call them 'acquaintances' stories. A1, A2 and A3

    A1 decided very early on in her pregnancy (her first) exactly how it was going to go. Come hell or high water, there was to be NO intervention. After labouring for two days after her waters had broken she still refused a cesarean birth. Sadly her beautiful dd was born with her cord around her neck and had a lack of oxygen for two days. She was born with severe brain damage and passed away at 18 hours old. For her second birth she opted to travel four hours for an elective cesarean and has a handsome ds.

    A2 had a horrible experience with two of her previous hospital births. Labouring for hours, 'forced' pain relief, vacuum, tearing etc. Cesarean had been suggested but she too refused. For her third birth she decided she was doing it at home her way. Due to complications I have never found out, her bub also passed away. Is it possible that a hospital birth could have prevented such a tragedy?

    I believe that these are the type of women Mia is referring to. There is a point where you draw the line and toast that plan like marshmallows.

    A3 had three 'textbook perfect' births, she had no time do get to the hospital for her fourth and had a home birth delivered by her DP. She now has a beautiful 1 week old boy. She loved it and said it was the most amazing thing she's ever done and was glad to have her other three chillens a part of it. This isn't what she planned but it worked for her and her family. Who are we to judge?

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  14. #238
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Re the midwives not knowing as much as an outright statement I don't really agree BUT the reason I had 3 extra midwives in the room was because they wanted to see a natural birth. Seriously. That's what I was told by the nurse unit manager the next day.

    Um birth is not a party trick!
    I had a similar experience. After my natural birth in a private hospital, midwives kept coming up to me and saying things like, "Oh my god, you're the woman who had no drugs!" I couldn't believe it was that unusual.

  15. #239
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    I didn't like the article. I'm pretty involved in the birthing scene and LOVE talking about birth, hearing about birth. I am not offended by others' choices, even if it's something I'd never choose myself. I've never home birthed, but wouldve loved the experience, but my husband would NEVER be comfortable with it, and for me, I felt it was important that we were both ok with where/how I was birthing. Fortunately for me, none of my hospital births were traumatic and I felt ok going back there (although I do get really sick of having to justify ànd explain my choices to numerous drs/midwives and crave the continuity of care with a known midwife that homebirth can offer).

    Ive never felt inferior/stupid for my decisions around homebirthers. On the other hand, I did feel that my decision not to have an epidural was looked upon unfavorably at dinner with a group of girlfriends, where I was the only one out of about 10 who opted for no pain relief. Phrases like 'you don't get a gold medal' and 'no need to be a martyr' were thrown around, and I felt really uncomfortable, despite loving my births. So I wonder if Mia has the same issues with women who have a birth plan detailing their wish for an epidural straight up? Or if it's only birth plans that differ from hers?

    The process of birth absolutely DOES matter- both physically (there are numerous health benefits to the baby of a normal physiological drug-free birth), and mentally (as discussed, traumatic birth can impact early parenting more than most realise). The same goes for the birth of the placenta. In most hospitals it is automatic and routine for this stage of the labour to be 'managed', you are given a jab as the baby is born, the cord is clamped immediately, then cut, and the placenta 'delivered'. If you want any deviation to this routine YOU NEED TO HAVE IT WRITTEN DOWN AND COMMUNICATED TO THE MIDWIFE! This doesn't make you a 'birthzilla', it makes you informed! There are numerous benefits to the baby to delaying cord clamping, it's not some airy fairy perfect birth nonsense as she implies. Health benefits aside, many women also have very important cultural reasons why the placenta should be birthed/handled a certain way, are they also 'birthzillas'?

    While I personally dont think birth can be 'planned', and sometimes things dont go the way we anticipated, I do believe it is very important our care provider is aware of our preferences surrounding birth- in a hospital setting this usually needs to be communicated via our notes in the form of a 'birth plan'. I'm pretty sure Mia's wish for an epidural was noted at some stage, so it's essentially the same thing.

    Anyway, hugs to all the women who have suffered difficult births and been told the process doesn't matter. It does matter, and it doesn't have to be other/or, it is possible to have the healthy baby and the positive experience!
    Last edited by Annabella; 19-06-2012 at 04:50.

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  17. #240
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    BabushkaMumma is offline Mothering with my whole heart as thats what my girls have given me.
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    Any time a woman takes informed charge of herself she's dubbed a 'zilla' of some sort instead of assertive.

    Worse yet, other women are the ones flaming her. Mia writes articles that shun groups of women polarizing and downplaying these women's rights to bodily autonomy - she has a major dislike for any minority that makes decisions for themselves instead of going with the flow.

    I dislike this article.

    Birth matters to most women and should matter to all women. Sadly some only discover that after the fact.

    Count me in a birthzilla but I'm glad I knew the process, glad I had an idea of what I wanted and was glad I knew things can change.

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