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As always I think there is something in between raving about birth experience years after the event and having no plan at all.
Its fine to not have a plan but fine to have one too. Mine made me less nervous but I was always open to not being in control. The article is a bit too black and white for me.
Anyone who feels superior about their birth however is...well being a d*ck IMO.
My bits are how they should be, I had no pain, just a little pressure at the head coming out, and was immediately up and about. Don't think I have "paid my dues" either BlissedOut. Sometimes I feel like I haven't given birth. Straight after I was like was that it?? It felt fake.
Eek. Awful article. I agree birth is only one day out of many many more as a parent but birth itself is understandably a massive deal to women and that's not a "New fad"!! My mum 25 years ago was all about the natural drug free birth. And yes Mia, women had homebirths back then.. my aunt delivered twins safely at home seventeen years ago. It's a huge thing. It's a huge ordeal for our bodies to go through. It's a huge ordeal for our babies to go through. Women can be permanently scarred Both physically and emotionally by their births. And despite what Mia says.. I absolutely thought about my babies wellbeing in their births. As usual she has a lot of opinions and absolutely no compassion or research to back her up.
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I have belonged to groups where people have gone on about their 'drug free labour' and how other women aren't woman enough to go through it for their child... don't even mention a c-section... because all caesareans are unnececaesareans
There's no noticeable difference between our babies. So I don't see why they feel they have one up on me in parenting because of this?
I'm not taking that article all that seriously but I do agree with her in regards to the superiority game that women play. It's totally seen as some sort of act of wonder to give birth naturally/drug-free and some women play it up. I also agree that this kind of attitude puts so much focus on the birth rather than everything that comes before and after. Putting this pressure on each other is not good, no one should start motherhood feeling like a failure!
But in regards to birth plans, if it makes you feel more confident going into the experience, it's well worth doing IMO.
I think society places too much emphasis on the birthing of a baby rather than the raising of a child. It's kind of like focusing on your wedding and not on your marriage.
I don't think that there is anything wrong with having a 'wish list' for how you hope a birth will go but I do think that if that list is so rigid that any deviation will leave the mother with lasting emotional damage then such a list is a dangerous or asking for trouble as babies and giving birth is not always predictable.
I do not even know how most of my friends gave birth, all we all cared about, and talked about, was our babies and how we were feeling and coping with newborns. In my circle the most important thing was the baby and mothers health, but perhaps this would have been different if any of us had experienced trauma during the birth.
I do not pretend to understand emotional birth trauma that is not associated with physical trauma but I appreciate that this is real for some women and it is not my place to criticise them for it. The same as I do not understand some birth choices, which is probably where I agree with Mia (which is a rare event).
I see where she's trying to go with this, and in many ways I agree.
However I think she's inadvertently become one of the very women she's complaining about: just as it's not their place to criticise another woman's birth, it's not her place to criticise another woman's priorities.
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