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  1. #171
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    The thing is, c/s mummies can be just as competitive. I've read and heard lots of snide comments like oh my DH is sooo glad I had a c/s bc sex is so much better than with with a woman who has had a vb (or words to that effect). Another I see regularly is... I didn't feel the need to be a martyr, i had a c/s - meaning those that birth naturally are martyrs.

    Her writings seem to only focus on vb mothers and for me I saw a clear agenda in her piece.... to have a go at natural birthing mothers for being high maintenance, demanding PITA's that think they are better than c/s mummies. yes those women exist, but like I said, so do the PA c/s mums....

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  3. #172
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    I think it becomes smug and competitive when women start saying things like "homebirthers know more about birthing than hospital midwives" and "I've had two homebirths and I don't know anyone who has had such an experience in hospital".
    Just saying

    Remember, people write about their experiences on forums for a couple of reasons. Firstly if they had a bad experience (and statistically that will be mostly hospital births as most births are in hospital), and secondly if they are passionate about birthing. These are often home or freebirthers. The bog standard hospital birth that went fine, with or without pain relief, healthy baby at the end, are rarely written about.

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  5. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by hopefully2 View Post
    I think society places too much emphasis on the birthing of a baby rather than the raising of a child.
    That's because quite often, and rightfully so, the birth has a significant and direct impact on HOW that child is raised.

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  7. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4underfour View Post
    Remember, people write about their experiences on forums for a couple of reasons. Firstly if they had a bad experience (and statistically that will be mostly hospital births as most births are in hospital), and secondly if they are passionate about birthing. These are often home or freebirthers. The bog standard hospital birth that went fine, with or without pain relief, healthy baby at the end, are rarely written about.
    I do agree with this....

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    Quote Originally Posted by marie45 View Post
    Jealousy make people do strange things.... I'm glad, and so is my husband that my lady bits are all still nicely intact.
    Are you serious... I would hardly be jealous of a woman who has had major surgery to have a baby not to mention the scar you end up with! And I had 2 natural births and my ladies bits are still nicely intact thankyou very much! The reference to not being intact after a vaginal birth bugs me, it all goes back!!

  9. #176
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    I'll be honest, I had an epidural with my first and em c/s. I never ever had anyone say a bad thing about how I gave birth or for having an epidural. Infact it was expected because almost all my friends had c/s aswell. Not even on bubhub had I ever felt judged or looked down on.
    When I started telling people I was having a drug free vbac, well that was a different story, I was judged, looked down on, I was told constantly what I was doing was dangerous by people who had no idea about vbacs. And when I had the baby no one wanted to know the details, I wasn't allowed to talk about it because then that would be bragging. They had no problems hearing about my c/s and how bad that was, but didn't want to hear about my vbac and how good that was.
    People judge regardless, and its not just people who have drug free births feeling sorry for women who don't or thinking they should have the same experience. She judged and contradicted herself, she judged women who freebirth and homebirth and waterbirth and write birth plans and who wear their birth like a badge of honour. She's just as bad as the women she's talking about.

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  11. #177
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    I think the reason I don't mind the references to natural birthers in this article is because I have seen her also write about women who have elective c/s to avoid their lady parts being ruined.

    I'm pretty sure she has also had at least two natural births?

  12. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    Ur first sentence ... Really a woman who has home birthed has more knowledge than a midwife? Not a gross generalization at all.
    Tha's the point isn't it. It's a gross generalisation to say women who homebirth are putting their babies at risk, assuming giving birth in a hospital is the only way a baby will safely arrive, that midwives and dr's know best and women should put up and shut up. Homebirths are also performed by midwives not everyone freebirths. I had a hospital birth with a midwife only present. Please tell me how that is any different and how a homebirther is negligent?

    Quote Originally Posted by 4underfour View Post
    I think it becomes smug and competitive when women start saying things like "homebirthers know more about birthing than hospital midwives" and "I've had two homebirths and I don't know anyone who has had such an experience in hospital".
    Just saying.
    Because it's smug to say homebirthers are putting themselves first. The person who had 2 homebirths is HER example in the article and why she went on to say how great her hospital experience was. By that person talking about her homebirth and not knowing anyone who had the same experience in a hospital isn't smug, she probably doesn't and again, all you need to do is read poeopls experiences to see how many are actually bad experiences in a hospital.

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    Quote Originally Posted by detajach View Post
    Isn't woman's "bits" changed slightly because of hormones prior to labour, rather than because of a vaginal birth or c section?
    What I mean is, regardless of how bub arrives, don't we all have the same hormones and pressure down there? And it all goes "normal" again after.

    That was always my understanding. It's quite offensive to say that a woman who's had a vaginal birth has "damaged goods" compared to a woman who's had a c sect.


    Regarding the article. Meh. People are individuals and are proud of different things. If they're proud of how they birthed their child then GOOD! It's a beautiful and amazing time in life, regardless of how it happens.

    If I sound snippy it's because a fair few of my friends who've only had c sections have been hammering me lately, telling me it's so much better, and how loose I'll be... This will be my third vaginal birth hopefully, it's all I know, and they're scaring the crappers out of me with horror stories about things going wrong.
    Your Vagina doesnt dilate, your cervix does. So you wont be 'loose' after a baby (well maybe for a few days). You vagina is a concertina, it can stretch out then back in again (dtd stretches it). When you have your baby your cervix dilates then after the baby it slowly goes back to normal (your cervix isnt part of dtd anyway so this doesnt matter). Your vagina goes back to normal too. Your Body would be less scarred after a VB than theirs will after a Csec . Do what is right for your body/family/baby and try not to listen to them.

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  15. #180
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by IndigoJ View Post
    Your Vagina doesnt dilate, your cervix does. So you wont be 'loose' after a baby (well maybe for a few days). You vagina is a concertina, it can stretch out then back in again (dtd stretches it). When you have your baby your cervix dilates then after the baby it slowly goes back to normal (your cervix isnt part of dtd anyway so this doesnt matter). Your vagina goes back to normal too. Your Body would be less scarred after a VB than theirs will after a Csec . Do what is right for your body/family/baby and try not to listen to them.
    Exactly no one walks around going my god if my partner has one more erection his penis will be floppy and stretched and will never be hard and stiff again why all this faith in men's penises but none in a woman's vagina? Oh wait..I think I know the answer to that question....

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