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  1. #151
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    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    I'm sorry, what am I mis reading here? I've re read it about 3 times now and still get the same message. She's wrong and un informed.
    "But in the maddening world of competitive mothering, some women see their birth experience as a platform for smugness and superiority. A badge of maternal honour.

    The game of My Birth Was Better Than Yours is an ugly, destructive one. And hugely risky if it puts anything above the physical welfare of a baby."

    What is wrong or uninformed about this? Because this is the message I'm taking from it.

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  3. #152
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    She has a different opinion to you so therefore doesn't know what she is talking about??

    I can see why some people are getting upset about the article, but I still see she isn't meaning it the way most are taking it, she means about the hoity toity up themselves mums who look down their nose at intervention births like you haven't really had a real birth experience if you had intervention, drugs, c/sections. Those mums do exist.
    She's a hoity toity mum who looks down her nose at women with birth plans and who talk about empowerement, choices, and even called some women negligent for their choices and thinking by choosing certain births they're only thinking about themselves.
    And people are actually agreeing with her?

    The the pp. You're glad about your c/s, so isn't the power of your choice amazing? Imagine you were forced to give birth vaginally, didn't get the choice and had complications as a result. Would you still be so happy about your experience? Or it wouldn't matter cause the baby out safely is all that matters?
    In that case, why did you choose a certain birth method in the first place, since how yo ugive birth doesn't matter?

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  5. #153
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    I've had two babies vaginally ... I might possibly have a clue about hold birth??? ... I can't figure out why u would need a birthing plan for a placenta
    Well that depends on what you want done with your placenta.

    If possible I want delayed chord clamping, I wanted it with Ds and fob said nothing so that will be included.

    If you want the injection or 'natural' placenta passing, do you want to eat it or donate it or placenta it?

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by lambjam View Post
    "But in the maddening world of competitive mothering, some women see their birth experience as a platform for smugness and superiority. A badge of maternal honour.

    The game of My Birth Was Better Than Yours is an ugly, destructive one. And hugely risky if it puts anything above the physical welfare of a baby."

    What is wrong or uninformed about this? Because this is the message I'm taking from it.
    Same here!

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    HI, I did not read all this but I am a little stunned. I had 2 CS and will have another, I had the same thing even though I had complications and had no other choice. I have never given birth naturally but For me CS was not painfree, yes pain free while you are being chopped open but after?! My first was okay I could handel the pain and recover quickly, my second was a whole different story...I was on 4 different kinds of painrelief meds and I still felt like breaking the bed in half. For 3 days, then it got a bit better but after expressing the same thing happened...it was agony! I often think people judge others based on their own experiences whithout trying to understand the other person.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    She has a different opinion to you so therefore doesn't know what she is talking about??

    I can see why some people are getting upset about the article, but I still see she isn't meaning it the way most are taking it, she means about the hoity toity up themselves mums who look down their nose at intervention births like you haven't really had a real birth experience if you had intervention, drugs, c/sections. Those mums do exist.
    I absolutely agree with this. And u think this was the point of her article. I don't think she meant to minimize birth trauma and I'm sure she would be the first to give her sympathies for women that had horrendous births for one reason or another.
    I think she was aiming the article at the very women who make us feel bad for not having the perfect birth. The ones that tell you directly or indirectly you are a failure for having a CS/forceps/ hospital birth. That make us feel as though we should all shun the evil obs and have wonderful homebirths.
    I Lol'd at her bit about the signature on forums. "proudly waterbirthed at home" "proudly homebirthed".

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  11. #157
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    I do agree there are really competitive, nasty women out there. I also agree with some of the comments she made about that side of cempetitive birthing and "i'm better than you bc I chose no drugs". If she had to kept in that vein, i probably would have agreed with the article.

    But it goes on to criticise women, who from the surface are obsessive and unwavering on birth plans and the method they birth. That they are more worried about the birth than being a parent. This is where I take issue, and she is doing exactly what she is talking about - making judgments about other women's births. Some women need control to feel safe after bad previous births, not bc they are birthzillas as she names us. Some women really aren't bothered by the whole affair, period.

    Fair enough on her points about competitive birthing. But the rest just feels like one huge judgment about natural birthing women.

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    I haven't read the whole thread, so it may have already come up... But what is a "free birth"?

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    I don't think that she cares less about how YOU choose to birth. If you want a 6 page birth plan then that's fine. But she took offence at it being shoved down her throat.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    She's a hoity toity mum who looks down her nose at women with birth plans and who talk about empowerement, choices, and even called some women negligent for their choices and thinking by choosing certain births they're only thinking about themselves.
    And people are actually agreeing with her?

    The the pp. You're glad about your c/s, so isn't the power of your choice amazing? Imagine you were forced to give birth vaginally, didn't get the choice and had complications as a result. Would you still be so happy about your experience? Or it wouldn't matter cause the baby out safely is all that matters?
    In that case, why did you choose a certain birth method in the first place, since how yo ugive birth doesn't matter?
    I think some women are negligent with their choices, that is nothing new. Some people are so blinkered in their choices that they won't let things like high risk births get in the way of a homebirth. Not sure why someone saying as much is wrong...it happens. To think it doesn't happen is naive. But still - what I am getting from this argument is that she has had enough of being told that her births aren't valid by mothers who have something to prove.

    As said before - there is a huge difference between being proud about your birth and being smug about it.

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