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  1. #121
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    Apart from on here, where people go into details, reasons and feelings about their birth or with close friends following the birth of a baby, I have not heard people talk about birth. Certainly not randoms at a bbq lol. It is quite acceptable for people on a parenting site, particularly in the pregnancy and birth forum, to discuss the ins and outs, to describe their feelings and to share their ups and downs. Just as it is acceptable to talk about it with friends and family. How many of us have truly had random strangers come up to us and discuss their birth plan or tell us their birth details? (excluding mothers groups where it may come up in conversation)

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  3. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    The thing is, it's an opinion piece. She does one every week. She's done hundreds of articles on all kinds of things. I don't think she intended it to be read into with the same level of scrutiny with which one might approach a medical journal.

    It's her opinion, and it's one that resonates with some women and not with others. It's also meant to be light hearted.

    When I read it, I honestly had a feeling of "YES! At last someone has said it!" I even saved the section to show DH, who liked it too.

    I don't think that it had sinister undertones of removing choice from mothers. I think it was simply having a bit of a groan at "THOSE" mums. She's not saying everyone who does XYZ is one of THOSE mums - she's just saying that THOSE mums can be a pain in the neck - and I agree.

    By THOSE mums I take it that she's referring to those who are all about the birth more so than the baby. Just like there are perfectly well balanced brides, who plan the wedding, and yet still think of the marriage as the main event, there are bridezillas out there who seem to focus more energy on the wedding than the marriage. And I agree with Mia that there are birthzillas out there too! And b00bzillas, and foodzillas, and all sorts.

    That's not to say that everyone who cares about these issues is a 'zilla' - just that there are zillas out there. I've definitely encountered several!
    Yep! Exactly how I read it as well Girl X. You just put it much better than me

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  5. #123
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I didn't believe my c-section was a 'safe choice'. I believed it was a safer choice than a long labour followed emergency caesarean, which was a real risk. I was in an environment best equipped to deal with any of the risk associated with a caesarean, which was some comfort, but it still didn't make it a 'safe choice', just the best choice for me.

    I ideally would've had a water birth at home, attended by a midwife - if that had been an option available to me. If I hadn't moved to Australia I am pretty certain I would've had this birth.

    I'm not being nasty or aggressive here, I am genuinely trying to understand your POV. Would you have accepted a midwifes presence at your birth if she was a good friend who you were comfortable with and trusted? If yes, would it be a preferable situation to free birthing, if not, why not?
    Ah ok well best choice would of been better for me to use than safe

    I wouldn't of made a choice on a support person based on their qualifications rather their with woman vibe to me that qualification wouldnt even factor into my thoughts. I would never invite someone into that birth space who wasn't truly with women, I would never invite someone who didn't 110% trust birth and me. Why? Because its like inviting someone to support you to do something when they have no faith that you can do it, no faith that what you are doing is normal, they bring fear and fear isn't a good thing in any birth situation.

  6. #124
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Apart from on here, where people go into details, reasons and feelings about their birth or with close friends following the birth of a baby, I have not heard people talk about birth. Certainly not randoms at a bbq lol. It is quite acceptable for people on a parenting site, particularly in the pregnancy and birth forum, to discuss the ins and outs, to describe their feelings and to share their ups and downs. Just as it is acceptable to talk about it with friends and family. How many of us have truly had random strangers come up to us and discuss their birth plan or tell us their birth details? (excluding mothers groups where it may come up in conversation)
    Never! Not even the mums at school, and I've never talked about it with my family either.

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    C Sec best choice for my man..me in labour ..not very nice!!

    also if anyone starts talking about birth ..labour..etc ..my eyes glaze over..

    It's a great experience to have a baby..thats all!!

  8. #126
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    I've had someone at the park ask me how I birthed. My DD was 3.5 at the time and her kid looked around the same age or perhaps a little older.

    I found it very odd.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Apart from on here, where people go into details, reasons and feelings about their birth or with close friends following the birth of a baby, I have not heard people talk about birth. Certainly not randoms at a bbq lol. It is quite acceptable for people on a parenting site, particularly in the pregnancy and birth forum, to discuss the ins and outs, to describe their feelings and to share their ups and downs. Just as it is acceptable to talk about it with friends and family. How many of us have truly had random strangers come up to us and discuss their birth plan or tell us their birth details? (excluding mothers groups where it may come up in conversation)
    This occurs to me all the time, when I read something here that many are so opionionated about! I agree that hardly anyone has probably had random strangers want to discuss such personal issues. And that being the case, why do we really care? I don't care what anyone thinks about my decisions because they relate to me and my family alone.

  10. #128
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Never! Not even the mums at school, and I've never talked about it with my family either.
    I don't discuss it with all my friends and family, but my bestie knows the ins and outs of dd's pregnancy and birth, as I do with her 2, same with my cousin who came in with me, she knows all about the pregnancy and birth. I know about her 3 as well. I know every detail of my nephew's birth, I was there for it, it has affected my nephew and in turn affected his parents. But other people? No. I have never discussed it (outside of here when it is topic related) with another person, and never had anyone randomly discuss it with me.

  11. #129
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I'm another that would never free birth for several reasons. But I think most that do are bc in the hospital system they would be forced to have a c/s for reasons they believe are wrong. breech is a perfect example. Many IM's now require insurance, and sometimes birth considered 'high risk' but aren't really, for example 2 previous c/s, won't touch these women for a HB.

    So their choice is either get stuck with another c/s, or free birth. Complicated in the subject is that it isn't so much being adverse to c/s in themselves, but many of these women have trauma from them.

    Take me for example - 2 previous c/s for breech (which I consider a ridiculous reason to begin with). Another pg would mean in the hospital system would mean automatic c/s, no bargaining or choice. Many HB middies wouldn't touch me to keep in line with insurance.

    Then there's issues of access. My closest IM is around 4+ hours drive time. That's too long for me. So for a 3rd pg I have the choice of a) another c/s b) freebirth. So for me, it has to be another damn c/s. For others out of those 2 options they pick FB
    But if it was a valid option for you?

    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Ah ok well best choice would of been better for me to use than safe

    I wouldn't of made a choice on a support person based on their qualifications rather their with woman vibe to me that qualification wouldnt even factor into my thoughts. I would never invite someone into that birth space who wasn't truly with women, I would never invite someone who didn't 110% trust birth and me. Why? Because its like inviting someone to support you to do something when they have no faith that you can do it, no faith that what you are doing is normal, they bring fear and fear isn't a good thing in any birth situation.
    Both of these posts are evidence that the Australian maternity system in grotesquely flawed. That these things aren't a valid option. I don't consider VBAC's a reasonable risk, I consider the hospitals policies on them a very real risk.

    My aunt has birthed nine children with the same midwife, this woman has been an important part of her life for 15 years now, understands her body, understands her babies, understands her birthing. She had the first two in hospital (with just this MW attending) and home birthed the other seven, two of the home birthed babies had breathing issues and my aunt was glad to have her on hand to help with a very traumatic post birth moment. With her last baby her trusted friend/MW was unavailable and she got another MW who didn't know her and let her labour for 48 hours with a transverse baby before she realised the baby was stuck, my aunt ended up having an emergency c-section, which was a huge blow after naturally birthing nine babies prior to this. I believe if she'd had her usual midwife it would never have happened, the MW would've picked up on it and turned the baby to a position safe for birthing.

    My midwife in NZ would've been my sister who I've watched birth, who knows me well enough to know how to handle my birth.

    I actually don't understand at all why ideal home births aren't encouraged and given decent funding, it saves the health system so much money.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    But if it was a valid option for you?
    If I had access and could afford it, yes I would choose HB before FB. The reason being I have never been in labour after 2 kids. I was taken early both times. So my fear isn't so much my body won't work, but that I would freak out, never having experienced a natural birth and would then transfer. From stories from FB/HB mums that have transferred to hospital, they are treated with contempt and a sense of 'told you so' from staff.

    But see that's just me... while I wouldn't personally FB, others would.


 

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