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  1. #91
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    Totally agree!! My sister in law is so determined to have a drug free birth which is fine, her choice, she literally has pages of how she wants her birth to play out and shes adiment she doesnt want any medical intervention. But she is refusing to give breast feeding a go? She fits this criteria of this artical perfectly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Thermolicious View Post
    Exactly, don't project your definition onto another woman. What's not traumatic to you might be traumatic for another person and v/v.
    Now why'd you even ask the question? Just looking to argy bargy hey?

  3. #93
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Now why'd you even ask the question? Just looking to argy bargy hey?
    I have no idea, I'm beginning to feel like the point is wasted on you though. I guess I see the potential for some understanding from you that for some women the experience does matter and that's ok. I hear you say a healthy baby and mother is all that matters, it's like saying to a couple who got married but on the way to the reception got hit by a truck landing them in hospital with life long trauma that 'at least they got married' after all that was the prize they were after? I'm sorry I come across as argh bargy I'm just frustrated some people don't understand this concept.

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    For what it is worth I will have a 'birth plan' next time,

    Ds's labour was fabulous, his birth horrible.

    I will have a rough 'idea' of what I want as my fob just sat back and let whatever happen, I feel a brief plan with suggestions will be helpful for my support person as I went quite loopy with ds's birth (under 'normal' cercumstances no drugs next time, I dont like the idea.of peth etc and gas sends me loopy) .

    Idgaf how jane down the road wishes to birth and fail to see how a mother choosing to have a birth plan has any affect or issue with another mother.

    My plan will include simple things such as NO music, please suggest water to me often (I forgot to drink for many hours) if I appear uncomfortable please suggest a birth stool / bar etc etc, if my contractions stop (ds's did) please negotiate with the ob to give me 20 - 30 minutes of quite (monitoring if necisary) before we discuss going to the drip etc to get them started again.

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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    I think a lot of the birthing choices and pride in birth, stems from years and years of women just copping it sweet.
    Birth just was what it was and women were not to complain.

    Now we have been handed some choices and some power in how we birth and with that comes pride.

    Birth was never talked about and so women went in with not much idea...now we have so much information and the ability to individualise our births.
    I think thats fine and very helpful for women who want to avoid trauma at all costs.

    Thats the main reason for plans and intentions, to make it calm and relaxing.

    Some women dont need this and thats fine too, I just think we have to be really careful that we do not push women back in to olden days, of just shutting up and copping it sweet.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nemmi View Post
    During ny ds's birth I received a 2nd degree episiotomy, the first I knew about it was when I felt the scissors cut me.

    Fob saw the ob getting the scissors so knew what he was intending to do and said nothing.


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    Oh my thats possibly the most disturbing birth story yet... I hope you complained to the medical board!!!

    But shh hey we're not talking birth trauma so bottle it

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    I don't see anything wrong with birth plans - I think they are a good way to help feel a little empowered and in control during a process that can seem totally out of your control. But I hate reading about women who feel they have failed at birthing because things didn't go exactly according to their plan.

    I found myself nodding though when she talked about people introducing their children years after their births by describing how they were birthed. Surely in the years following their birth they've developed personalities to talk about too? And you've had other parenting moments too.

    Sorry for posting top early - a dog bumped my arm and I managed to hit post accidentally.
    Last edited by NancyBlackett; 18-06-2012 at 10:23.

  11. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ishtyban View Post
    I think a lot of the birthing choices and pride in birth, stems from years and years of women just copping it sweet.
    Birth just was what it was and women were not to complain.

    Now we have been handed some choices and some power in how we birth and with that comes pride.

    Birth was never talked about and so women went in with not much idea...now we have so much information and the ability to individualise our births.
    I think thats fine and very helpful for women who want to avoid trauma at all costs.

    Thats the main reason for plans and intentions, to make it calm and relaxing.

    Some women dont need this and thats fine too, I just think we have to be really careful that we do not push women back in to olden days, of just shutting up and copping it sweet.
    You've hit the nail on the head here for me, this is exactly how I feel about that article, thanks! It is like she has a put up and shut up attitude.
    Quote Originally Posted by mumma inky View Post
    Oh my thats possibly the most disturbing birth story yet... I hope you complained to the medical board!!!

    But shh hey we're not talking birth trauma so bottle it
    Yes, your making everyone uncomfortable

  12. #99
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    I thought the article was hilarious. Of course there was exaggeration in there, I'm sure she didn't really try to stab herself with a sausage

    For what it's worth though, I am the sort of person who gets excited about the inflight entertainment on the way to Paris (yay for your own private movie screen), so it stands to reason that I am also excited about the birth!

    Her dancing a jig with the though of giving birth in the middle of an auditorium of white jacketed doctors made me laugh

  13. #100
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    Three hospital births. Loved them all. And this is where I start to get tetchy.
    LET me state for the record: I'm a fan of doctors. Love them. Especially obstetricians. If I could give birth in a stadium full of people in white coats with letters after their names I would do a happy jig.
    How can someone seriously think other women should be doing the happy jig at THAT? Being the most vulnerable, legs spread, things going in and coming out, having no control, no say about what's happening and we should be happy to have countles people in white coats watching while you're lying down with bright lights over you......
    Even your pet would get more respect while it gives birth.
    Women don't matter, only the baby coming out matters, fu$ck it if you can't walk, talk, get depressed, can't sleep cause your traumatised that your body just got ripped apart. But oh you had a baby, yay!!!!!! Stop complaining and get over it, and don't bother trying to make the 2nd time better for yourself, no one will read your birth 'plan' you're not in control, feeling empowered doesn't exist YOU DON'T MATTER........

    If someone told me THAT before having my baby I'd slap her dead in the face.

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