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  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think this is why we need a clear cut law. I'm so sorry you went through that. And your poor dad living with that guilt.

    I've known men who say they could never smack a child because they look at the size of themselves and the size of a child and it's really unjust.

    I've been 'smacked' before out of 'fun' by partners, you know where you just play, and if I've been smacked in a particular spot it stings like mad. Even if the person wasn't trying to hurt me.
    I hate that kind of play. Took my df a while to realise pinning me and tickling me makes me react like I'm genuinely under attack. I go knees hands feet teeth crazy. :-/ but he still thought I was joking if I said don't freaking pin me.

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  2. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I hate that kind of play. Took my df a while to realise pinning me and tickling me makes me react like I'm genuinely under attack. I go knees hands feet teeth crazy. :-/ but he still thought I was joking if I said don't freaking pin me.
    I agree, I'm glad DP isn't into 'playfights'. My ex is a LOT bigger than me, and him slapping me, even in jest, does hurt. As would him pinning me down. Hence, why I'd like to see it outlawed. Grown adults using physical force against someone half their size (and sometimes even smaler) just doesn't seem right to me... even if they don't *intend* to hurt.

  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    Yep me I admitted on the other smacking thread I smacked jasper when he full jaw lock bit my nipple when he was 3ish & breast feeding and was asleep.

    I would take my hat off to anyone responding any differently than if they got their boob stuck in a bear trap. Scream and flail at the source of pain.

    Though he was 3. not a baby. And I do think anyone who smacks a baby for any reason should see their gp and get a referral for support.

    And I also do think as well losing your **** in anger or frustration and then reflecting on why or how it could happen is totally different to being entitled to use physical punishment.

    Though my issue isn't with individuals who smack but a society that entitles individuals to use physical punishments against children. (I'd say "anyone" but children are the only people 'we' are 'allowed' to smack)

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    I had the same thing happen, around the same age and it was when she went to sleep. Not saying you are horrible and abusive, but I have read from people who have smacked from the fright of being bitten by a young toddler who still says how terrible I was for smacking a nearly 4yo in a stressful situation for being dangerous. Or someone who was frustrated at a nearly 2yo not handing over a toy so smacked, but thinks I am abusive and because she did it out of frustration that makes it ok.

  4. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raising Leprechauns View Post
    I'd love to know this too. If my kids hit others my line always is "Does Mummy ever hit you?" No. "So is it ok for you to hit any body?"

    I watched a Mum in playgroup yank her toddler up by the arm and really whack him three or four times for smacking another child. My kids didnt want to play with that child any more because "his mum is scary."
    See i dont understand this. Hitting a child as punishment for hitting

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  6. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    What about the fact that smacking is a dicipline involving a humans rights to bodilly autonomy, or the lack thereof?? I would definitely not take it kindly if my employer opted to smack me as a diciplinary action for not doing my job correctly, or "misbehaving" in the work place. They are in a position of power over me, just as parents are in a position of power over their children.

    If your children are old enough to say "Don't smack me", do you stop then? If so, what about beforehand, when your children are too young to speak? If your children say "Don't smack me" and you do it regardless, what does that teach them about the rights they have over their own body? If they say "Stop" someone doesn't have to listen, based purely on the fact that they're bigger, stronger and have more power over them?
    Because, when it comes down to it, parents smack because they are ABLE to smack. They're bigger, stronger and in a position of power over their children. If smacking was an accepted punishment, then people who smack their children would also smack other peoples children, wouldn't they? If they truly thought smacking was okay, and should be an acceptable punishment, wouldn't they also smack other peoples kids? No, they wouldn't, because they don't hold that position of power over another persons children. Only their own.

    For the people who believe that they should stop smacking when their children reach an age where they can be explained to/reasoned with, how does that work? Human brains don't stop "ageing" exactly until humans are in their mid-twenties, so should you continue to punish your children until they are actually old enough to make informed decisions based on things? No? Why? Because your kids suddenly aren't kids anymore, they turn into grown ups who have the power to hit you back. If you think that smacking is an appropriate punishment, try smacking your husband when your husband does some kind of dumb-**** thing that they inevitably do. Infact, tell him that it is TOTALLY appropriate for him to smack you if you do something he finds inappropriate/dangerous/silly.
    Oh dear, another thread spiraling out of control because of different opinions.

  7. #206
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    what if it was illegal? you would have to find another way. you would no longer be entitled to smack your children so you would find a better alternative.

    I'm sure teachers freaked out a bit when they were no longer entitled to take a strap or ruler to children's knuckles with enough force to make them bleed - but teaching as a profession has changed and I think we would all agree for the better.

    Change is hard though!

    and I believe our children will look back and find the idea of a child being struck by an adult as abhorrent as many of us feel about a teacher drawing blood.

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    No I would continue to parent as I see fit, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do with my children. I am the parent and no one will ever take that right away from me. If I feel that it's appropriate to smack my child on that very rare occasion when all else fails I will.

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  9. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    No I would continue to parent as I see fit, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do with my children. I am the parent and no one will ever take that right away from me. If I feel that it's appropriate to smack my child on that very rare occasion when all else fails I will.
    This mentality is TERRIFYING for me. I'm sorry, but this opens SO MANY doors to paedophiles, etc, that it's really NOT a good thing. You don't OWN your children, nor do you OWN their bodies. You do NOT have the right to them.

    As a random thing, I used to have a quote as my signature, and I should probably change it, but it went like this:
    Parenting is not a right, it's a privilege. Don't abuse it.
    Last edited by Jennaisme; 19-06-2012 at 17:44.

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  11. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    No I would continue to parent as I see fit, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do with my children. I am the parent and no one will ever take that right away from me. If I feel that it's appropriate to smack my child on that very rare occasion when all else fails I will.
    There are lines. Eg. The state is allowed to tell you that you must have your child in a car restraint. If you are saying that as a parent you feel that you can make ANY decision for your child and their life then you are wrong. At this time you can however choose how you discipline, whether other parents like it or not. You can not just do anything to your child and preface it with "no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do with my children".

  12. #209
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Jennaisme
    Parenting is not a right, it's a privilege. Don't abuse it.
    This is gold. And so true….

  13. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberleygal1 View Post
    No I would continue to parent as I see fit, no one has the right to tell me what I can or can't do with my children. I am the parent and no one will ever take that right away from me. If I feel that it's appropriate to smack my child on that very rare occasion when all else fails I will.
    I'm not surprised you say this given your signature.

    I am interested - how do you think smacking them will stop them going to jail? most posters say they smack only as a last resort and for safety reasons. How does that equate to jail??


 

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