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  1. #191
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    I was one of those kids that were smacked well in to their teens with the wooden spoon, brushes, rulers - whatever Mum could get her hands on first - often accompanied with the famous "I'll give you something to cry about". I dont remember what any of those smacks were about - but I do remember being hit.

    Did I learn anything from being smacked?

    Yes I did - that its wrong. The thought of raising my hand (or anything else) to my child to ensite pain or fear makes me feel sick.

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  3. #192
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raising Leprechauns View Post
    I was one of those kids that were smacked well in to their teens with the wooden spoon, brushes, rulers - whatever Mum could get her hands on first - often accompanied with the famous "I'll give you something to cry about". I dont remember what any of those smacks were about - but I do remember being hit.

    Did I learn anything from being smacked?

    Yes I did - that its wrong. The thought of raising my hand (or anything else) to my child to ensite pain or fear makes me feel sick.
    I was as well, the question I'm wondering is:
    How do people who smack their children then teach their children that other people hitting them is wrong?? I'm curious about this.

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  5. #193
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    I can't remember why I smacked, but do remember I was.

    I also can't remember the reasons why I had priveledges removed, had to go to bed earlier, was grounded, etc. Yet nobody condemns these methods.

    TBH, I think the lesson I learnt was, "Do as your parents say or there'll be consequences." Fair enough lesson too... life is quite the same. Do what your boss says... or else. Do what the law says... or else. I don't think, "I shouldn't j-walk because it's so wrong." I think, "I shouldn't j-walk (if police are around... lol), because I could get fined." Same as running a red light when there are NO other cars around. I still stop because I'm supposed to... even though there is no logic to doing it when no other cars are anywhere in sight. It's fear of repercussions that stop me, rather than actually believing it's the right thing to do... just as doing what your parents tell you is something you do because you don't want to get into trouble, not because you agree with their reasoning as to why you shouldn't do XYZ.

    I also don't get the "but it'd be wrong to smack your partner," thing. Yeah, it would, because it's not your place to discipline them. It'd also be wrong to make them go to the corner, not let them leave the house for a week or send them to bed early. Okay, so a long time ago it was okay to discipline your wife... so that means that smacking kids these days is abusive and wrong. Fair enough, but to say that and believe there's a correlation are you saying the discipline is wrong? That because we're realised that women don't deserve to be disciplined by husbands, then kids shouldn't be disciplined either? Because that's really what you're saying by comparing the two.

    Say you hate smacking all you want, but unless you're completely anti-discipline in all forms, then the connection just doesn't make sense.

  6. #194
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    I remember myself and my siblings being lifted by one arm and smacked on the bum by dad... It hurt, so much so you would pull your bum and and beg not to be hit. Or for your sibling not to be if they had "been naughty"
    I have an issue with my sacrum, terrible back pain that "locks" and renders me motionless until it releases... Having had this since my teens and having no other explanation i assume its from being smacked when younger, and dad apologizes for it often and this grown man, a big truckie, actually cries and asks my brother to please learn by his mistakes and stop smacking his kids..

  7. #195
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sariele View Post
    It's interesting: If you have a look at nature, other mammals such as bears and big cats take a swipe at their young when they step out of line. It's a natural reaction, as long as it isn't hurting them.
    Some animals eat their babies.

    I don't think that makes it an acceptable reaction for people.

    We're blessed with superior intellect, it'd be nice if we employed it when raising our children.

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  9. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I can't remember why I smacked, but do remember I was.

    I also can't remember the reasons why I had priveledges removed, had to go to bed earlier, was grounded, etc. Yet nobody condemns these methods.

    TBH, I think the lesson I learnt was, "Do as your parents say or there'll be consequences." Fair enough lesson too... life is quite the same. Do what your boss says... or else. Do what the law says... or else. I don't think, "I shouldn't j-walk because it's so wrong." I think, "I shouldn't j-walk (if police are around... lol), because I could get fined." Same as running a red light when there are NO other cars around. I still stop because I'm supposed to... even though there is no logic to doing it when no other cars are anywhere in sight. It's fear of repercussions that stop me, rather than actually believing it's the right thing to do... just as doing what your parents tell you is something you do because you don't want to get into trouble, not because you agree with their reasoning as to why you shouldn't do XYZ.

    I also don't get the "but it'd be wrong to smack your partner," thing. Yeah, it would, because it's not your place to discipline them. It'd also be wrong to make them go to the corner, not let them leave the house for a week or send them to bed early. Okay, so a long time ago it was okay to discipline your wife... so that means that smacking kids these days is abusive and wrong. Fair enough, but to say that and believe there's a correlation are you saying the discipline is wrong? That because we're realised that women don't deserve to be disciplined by husbands, then kids shouldn't be disciplined either? Because that's really what you're saying by comparing the two.

    Say you hate smacking all you want, but unless you're completely anti-discipline in all forms, then the connection just doesn't make sense.
    But there are consequences to misbehavior in relationships though? If your partner cheated on you, there's the consequence to him of losing his wife/partner, etc. If your partner hits you, you don't hit them back(except in extreme cases, to my understanding) you leave them and/or have them charged for assault.
    If I steal from work, I lose my job. There are consequences to every action a person undertakes, which is what we OUGHT to be teaching our children. Rather than "If you do that, I'll hit you."

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  11. #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I was as well, the question I'm wondering is:
    How do people who smack their children then teach their children that other people hitting them is wrong?? I'm curious about this.
    I'd love to know this too. If my kids hit others my line always is "Does Mummy ever hit you?" No. "So is it ok for you to hit any body?"

    I watched a Mum in playgroup yank her toddler up by the arm and really whack him three or four times for smacking another child. My kids didnt want to play with that child any more because "his mum is scary."

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  13. #198
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    I still find it hard to accept that you were all smacked so lightly that it didn't hurt. Go ahead and try. Smack your hand lightly. Then smack it again a bit harder so it hurts a little. It doesnt take much force for s smack to hurt. Did your parents smack you that lightly it didn't hurt a bit? I also just can't accept that a smack so light it didn't hurt did anything to 'shock' you.

  14. #199
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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Also find it amusing that some people who have a go at people like myself have admitted to smacking their BABY out of anger or frustration or because they got a fright.
    Yep me I admitted on the other smacking thread I smacked jasper when he full jaw lock bit my nipple when he was 3ish & breast feeding and was asleep.

    I would take my hat off to anyone responding any differently than if they got their boob stuck in a bear trap. Scream and flail at the source of pain.

    Though he was 3. not a baby. And I do think anyone who smacks a baby for any reason should see their gp and get a referral for support.

    And I also do think as well losing your **** in anger or frustration and then reflecting on why or how it could happen is totally different to being entitled to use physical punishment.

    Though my issue isn't with individuals who smack but a society that entitles individuals to use physical punishments against children. (I'd say "anyone" but children are the only people 'we' are 'allowed' to smack)

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  15. #200
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumma inky View Post
    I remember myself and my siblings being lifted by one arm and smacked on the bum by dad... It hurt, so much so you would pull your bum and and beg not to be hit. Or for your sibling not to be if they had "been naughty"
    I have an issue with my sacrum, terrible back pain that "locks" and renders me motionless until it releases... Having had this since my teens and having no other explanation i assume its from being smacked when younger, and dad apologizes for it often and this grown man, a big truckie, actually cries and asks my brother to please learn by his mistakes and stop smacking his kids..
    I think this is why we need a clear cut law. I'm so sorry you went through that. And your poor dad living with that guilt.

    I've known men who say they could never smack a child because they look at the size of themselves and the size of a child and it's really unjust.

    I've been 'smacked' before out of 'fun' by partners, you know where you just play, and if I've been smacked in a particular spot it stings like mad. Even if the person wasn't trying to hurt me.


 

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