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  1. #171
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    Quote Originally Posted by trishalishous View Post
    Ive just had my extended inlaws staying here for a month. They are from a developing country. Aunty took me aside and told me how scared she had been, that I was like 'those' western parents who lock their babies away in a room, hit and yell at them, and do it all 'for thier own good'
    They were thrilled that we parent 'normally' and gentle guide and nurture our children. People wouldnt dream of yelling at a child, let alone striking one, back home. Yes they have the village, so when its hard to cope theres someone to help, but when many people dont have electricity or running water it was ironic that they judge the more 'civilised' nations' parenting
    That is really interesting. Also its been proven these kinds of people are overall happier than us!

  2. #172
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I have one question for those posters who see smacking as acceptable and still smack (ie not those who have in the past but whirl heir kids have now grown older).

    If the states and territories of Australia outlawed smacking in line with what has happened overseas (so any form of hitting a child is illegal) would you obey the law? You don't have to answer you can ignore me but I am really interested. If you do feel very strongly that what you are doing is right and works for your family, how would you react if suddenly it became illegal?

    I'm not trying to bait I am genuinely interested in how people would feel about this and whther they would change.
    If ever such a law was passed I would completely regard it as being over-the-top nanny state and it wouldn't change how I felt about how I parent my children. I feel the same as some of the stupid laws that have been in the paper recently where a poor woman got hauled before the courts because she left her 10 and 2 year old in the car for 5 minutes. I also disagree with that law (although I understand why it is in place for extemes of behaviour) and won't let it affect how I live my life.

  3. #173
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    If ever such a law was passed I would completely regard it as being over-the-top nanny state and it wouldn't change how I felt about how I parent my children.
    You're so right and my husband should be able to force sex on me because it's his marital right.

    I really do wonder if some of this forum are posting from the 1950s.

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  5. #174
    AndrewTheEmu is offline Bubhub Ambassador - tongue in cheek
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    My parents stopped smacking me year 7 at 12 years old.

    Probably got another 1-2 bum smacks after that for mouthing off.

    By then the damage from years of smacking (in my case belting) had already been done.

  6. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    You're so right and my husband should be able to force sex on me because it's his marital right.

    I really do wonder if some of this forum are posting from the 1950s.
    What a stupid comparison to make. Thanks for being such a pleasant person.

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  8. #176
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Most common age for parents to use smacking is 0-5.

  9. #177
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    What a stupid comparison to make. Thanks for being such a pleasant person.
    Both are assault and abuse in other countries, it's a fair comparison.
    Smacking is an outdated punishment that stems from a belief of where wives and children were chattels and public floggings of all ages was an acceptable punishment.

  10. #178
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    Ulysses is offline In the eyes of a child you will see...the world as it should be.
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    Some of the interesting findings from my research were:

    1. for behaviour to be modified through discipline some level of internalisation needs to occur and power assertive methods such as smacking have not been found to be successful in promoting this critical component of behavioural change

    2. Conversely gentle discipline, positive exchange and secure attachment are positively associated with the internalisation process

    3. smacking has been associated with a number of negative behavioural outcomes such as aggression, criminal and deviant behaviour

    4. Children often model the behaviour of their caregivers - therefore if a caregiver uses power assertive methods the child may in turn use these methods in their interactions also. As shown in Bandura's famous bobo doll experiment and his social learning theory.

    5. A significantly greater amount of antisocial behaviour was found in children that had experienced any level of corporal punishment (including mild).

    6. These findings were supported by studies which found that the negative correlations still existed despite high levels of maternal nurturance or where parents felt that they had provided adequate cognitive stimulation and emotional support to the child.

    7. Further studies supported this claim and added that the correlations still existed whether positive parenting strategies were used in conjunction with corporal punishment.

    The list goes on, and i can give references if anyone is interested but the research is strongly in the favour of avoiding corporal punishment - and whether you agree with it or not morally speaking - it is considered highly ineffective as far as behaviour modification goes. Probably the most comprehensive is the meta analysis done by Gershoff in 2002 - but really there are too many studies and findings to bore you with here.

    I spent quite alot of time researching this topic and what I have found is that once you strip away the personal and moral arguments, there really is little value in it as far as discipline goes. I believe there will certainly come a time where it is outlawed, it is only a matter of time really.

    Anyway just thought i would share some of the things i learned - it was a gruelling task but am so glad I did it as it forced me to look beyond smacking to alternative methods that leave me feeling better about my interactions with my child. Of course that is just me though, but I still thought some might like to see some of the findings from the available literature.
    Last edited by Ulysses; 19-06-2012 at 14:22.

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  12. #179
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    BlissedOut obviously you are er passionate about this subject but I was merely replying to a PP'd question about whether a law would change the way I raise my children. I'm glad you agree with and adhere to government law in all it's forms but I consider myself autonomous enough to make individual assessments (including such other shocking issues as supporting gay marriage). Not that smacking is illegal currently anyway.

    So direct your righteous outrage elsewhere please. I am off to make my son sweep chimneys and then get him to work pickpocketing on the streets.

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  14. #180
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    Thanks Ulysses, very interesting and informative.
    I'm not a smacker and a lot of people in this thread that a pro smacking won't even read your post but if one person does, and it makes them reconsider their methods of discipline, then you have done a good thing.

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