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  1. #111
    Eko's Avatar
    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    Same as some people are against timeout because they were locked in their room for hours or whatever.
    I was traumatized by a couple of non-physical punishments when I was little. Neither one was done by my parents.
    The first I believe had never been an approved method but the second is still regularly used in schools across the country even now and is seen as normal which gets my hackles up every time I think about it.

    So I understand the point of view, particularly when it comes from the people who've suffered miss-use of smacking.
    I don't have any physical scars, but I have quite a few mental ones thanks to a couple of "well meaning" teachers in primary school.

  2. #112
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Quote Originally Posted by trishalishous View Post
    when will we finally join the 32 civilised countries who protect children from violence??
    I don't use violence against my kids, but what I do use is considered by many to be 'smacking'.

    I'm actually quite offended that anyone would insinuate that I am violent towards my kids.
    Last edited by HugsBunny; 18-06-2012 at 12:45.

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  4. #113
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    hers&hers can i ask a serious question. why do you feel the need to use a wooden spoon or branch? is it because a weapon inflicts more pain? or is there another reason?

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub

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    Quote Originally Posted by KillerHeels View Post
    hers&hers can i ask a serious question. why do you feel the need to use a wooden spoon or branch? is it because a weapon inflicts more pain? or is there another reason?

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using BubHub
    Sorry, I'm not Hers&Hers, but I've heard some people prefer to use objects to separate the person from the discipline, so rather than "Mummy" smacking them, which can make a child fear their parents, they use a stick/wooden spoon/cane, etc, so if there's fear, there's fear of the object, rather than the person.
    Hope that makes sense, and I could be wrong, but this is my understanding. The same method is also used in training dogs, etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    If I couldn't trust my 2yo to hold my hand without running in a dangerous area, I'd carry her or put her in the pram.
    Agree with this. If children are too young to be reasoned with then you remove the danger. Toddlers don't understand consequences which is why they put themselves into dangerous situations. If we remove or minimise the threat then there is no need to punish. We have a fire and when my son was young enough to not understand the danger of it being hot we had a guard up to protect him. Now at 18 months, he is old enough to understand hot and will not go near it. We have not had to punish him for him to understand that.

  7. #116
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    I also agree with giving the child choices. If we are talking about kids that run then as someone else said, the choice is walk and hold my hand or be carried or go in the stroller/trolly. If my DS is playing up at bedtime reading the books, the choice is read the books then go to bed or go straight to bed. He knows how to take the compromise and he gets to make the choice. I have found that with my DS that as soon as I try to control him, his behaviour is worse. Choices work well for us.

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  9. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Sorry, I'm not Hers&Hers, but I've heard some people prefer to use objects to separate the person from the discipline, so rather than "Mummy" smacking them, which can make a child fear their parents, they use a stick/wooden spoon/cane, etc, so if there's fear, there's fear of the object, rather than the person.
    Hope that makes sense, and I could be wrong, but this is my understanding. The same method is also used in training dogs, etc.
    I am going to disagree with you. I was terrified of my parents beyond belief. Due to them using a bamboo stick to "smack" my siblings and I. They used it because smacking us with their hand hurt their hands.

    Yes my parents were way OTT with smacking. To the point where I will never forgive my mother for what she did to me and my siblings. She won't acknowledge that she was in the wrong.

    Her thing is that we were nasty terrible children. (she doesn't seem to realise that children are a product of their parents, and my parents were physically, emotionally and verbally abusive and defiant of each other for as long as I can remember)

    My dad has been to councelling and also spoken with us regarding it, taken our feelings into consideration and apologised for his words and actions.

    However, I believe using anything other than an open hand to smack a child is just not on.

    I do smack DD. She is 2, with an ipen hand on a nappied bum after many many warnings, trying to talk her out of it and other things. Very rarely do I have to smack her. She has been taught from a very young age what is and isn't acceptable behaviour or actions in my eyes.

    She still runs up to me and hugs me all through the day, says she loves me and has never once been scared of me in any way.

    I do believe in smacking. My DD is very stubborn and headstrong, but I am very conscious of when I am angry and will never smack out of anger. She understands that a smack is for doing something naughty.

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    I don't even remember why I got smacked, just that I got smacked, and I can remember every time that I got smacked. And it hurt. I remember one time having a welt on my chest after my mother lashed out at me.

  11. #119
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    Here's a thought, how about people just don't smack at all? There is no line, there shouldn't be line. It should be illegal. Its abuse, plain and simple.

    And if you really want to sugar coat it and say "oh we do it responsibly and safe" then you are kidding yourself. There is no safe or appropriate way of smacking a child. Open, shut, soft, hard, on the bum on the leg. Its all abuse and if it were on anyone else other than a child it would be classed as assault.


    Its completely illogical to use violence on a child to "teach" them a lesson.

    Smacking is purely lazy parenting, and you can throw all the excuses my way, i have heard them all. I have been there and done that. There is ALWAYS another choice.

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  13. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    I don't even remember why I got smacked, just that I got smacked, and I can remember every time that I got smacked. And it hurt. I remember one time having a welt on my chest after my mother lashed out at me.
    That's not a smack bell, that's outright abuse


 

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