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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    The same as I'd feel if he told me I couldn't play with a certain friend, made me go to bed at a certain time, restricted what I could eat.……

    Ya know, all the stuff that comes with being a 'parent'.

    I can't speak for your relationship
    VicPark but if my partner tried to 'parent' me rather than treat me as an equal, it wouldn't be much of a relationship in my eyes.

    This is why I find it ridiculous reasoning - how can you compare a husband using a smack as 'discipline' to a parent disciplining their child?
    Because being a parent doesn't entitle you to treat your child any different than you would treat another human being (partner, friend, co-workers, another persons child etc etc). We are all human beings that deserve the same respect and consideration. Children especially need to be coached and guided, with even more respect and consideration, they are small people still learning and growing.

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Because if it would Damage you if hubby treated you like this, what do you think it would be like for your kids?

    If hubby wants something from
    You and can't hit you to get it.. What should he do? Put his thinking cap on and come up with a better way.? The same should apply to parents.
    Well actually, if my husband wants anything from me he can go through my lawyer but I digress - have you even READ any of the posts from parents who have said that they smack as a very last resort? It seems that you're arguing your point without taking on board anything anyone else is saying.

    Nice side step of what I said by the way - There simply is no comparison between a husband beating his wife to a parent giving a child a tap on a nappy and cloth covered behind.

    I have no idea if you have children yourself VicPark but every parent knows their own children.

    As said in one of my previous posts, I think the outrage over 'smacking' comes from ones perception. Smacking to one person is using a wooden spoon, smacking to another is a tap on the hand to get their attention.

    For me, smacking is a single solitary smack on the backside, hard enough to be felt but not hurt, and used only after explanation of why the behaviour shouldn't continue (twice) and then given a choice between continuing said behaviour or receiving a smack. It is not because I don't know what else to do, it's always a last resort and you know what? It works - and my kids don't get smacked very often, they make the right choice to change the bad behaviour.

    I'm giving my kids the choice to change their behaviour and you'd be shocked (as I was) at the amount of people who told me that I should just smack and explain later. You know what? I'm not going to insult my kids' intelligence by doing that to them, and I have stood toe to toe with their father over it because he believes in smack first and speak second.

  4. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    And as for running in the car park, some kids simply slip your hand and run. I wonder if a harness would be a suitable method of 'restraint' or would that parent then be under fire for 'treating their child as a dog'???
    If a kid is a runner than a harness might be the answer. We harness dogs for safety sake not because we want to humiliate or degrade them. When I see a child in a harness I think "there's a kid who probably likes to bolt and their parents are setting some easily and gently enforced safety boundaries" I've never seen a child being dragged or in distress in a harness so it seems to be a non traumatic option and I'll keep it in mind if I ever have a runner. Why hurt a child for doing something that is normal, natural and mostly out of their control? A child may learn that they get hit if they do something mum doesn't like but why then can't they use that technique on their own little friends and siblings?

  5. #104
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    I think this is why it should be unlawful to smack a child - we all have different ideas on what a 'smack' is and some people take it way too far.

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  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by beccacino View Post
    If a kid is a runner than a harness might be the answer. We harness dogs for safety sake not because we want to humiliate or degrade them. When I see a child in a harness I think "there's a kid who probably likes to bolt and their parents are setting some easily and gently enforced safety boundaries" I've never seen a child being dragged or in distress in a harness so it seems to be a non traumatic option and I'll keep it in mind if I ever have a runner. Why hurt a child for doing something that is normal, natural and mostly out of their control? A child may learn that they get hit if they do something mum doesn't like but why then can't they use that technique on their own little friends and siblings?
    I agree with you re the harness though as some say they would never smack, I would never use a harness.

    If I see someone using one, I think wow that kid must be a runner but unlike you, I actually HAVE seen one being misused. In an airport, I saw a woman say to a toddler, 'come on, this way' and start walking. The child hesitated, so the woman yanked on the 'leash' and pulled the child off his feet. Poor thing, I felt so sorry for him.

    Not that it matters, but I don't actually smack for running in a carpark anymore - I rarely did it anyway, I speak sternly and tell the kids they'll 'get squished' if they run in a carpark. My boy is given the choice to walk or be carried. He knows if he doesn't want to hold my hand and walk, he will have to go in a trolley or be carried.

    I'm not using smacking to control my kids, I give them the opportunity to make a choice.
    Last edited by HugsBunny; 18-06-2012 at 11:57.

  8. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    Because being a parent doesn't entitle you to treat your child any different than you would treat another human being (partner, friend, co-workers, another persons child etc etc). We are all human beings that deserve the same respect and consideration. Children especially need to be coached and guided, with even more respect and consideration, they are small people still learning and growing.
    And that's what I do Bell. I guide and teach. Goodness, I'm not some mad mother with rollers in her hair, a wine glass in one hand and a wooden spoon in the other, shrieking like a banshee that the kids are gonna cop it if they don't do what I want them to do

    I speak to my children with respect, I teach them good manners, I take the time to explain things to them and give them the opportunity to make their own choices regarding their behaviour.

    I was always smacked first and I still remember holding my backside because it hurt so much and wondering what in the hell I'd done THAT time to warrant it. Believe me when I say my kids will never EVER have that.

    I should also add that I was smacked well into my teens. Basically until I grabbed mum's hand to stop her slapping me across the face and told her if she hit me again, I'd hit her back. In this instance she'd actually chased me into the loungeroom hitting me the whole way. I understand what it is to be humiliated. At age 10 I screamed through my tears to be let up and stop being hit because I was about to wet myself.

    I know what not to do in terms of discipline.
    Last edited by HugsBunny; 18-06-2012 at 11:55.

  9. #107
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    I also think the whole husband argument is very silly. Parenting your child should be nothing similar to the relationship you have with your partner. Same as being foremost "friends" with your child, also misguided.

    I am not responsible for my husband in any way similar to that which I am responsible for my son. It is non comparable. My husband is a fully grown man who understands what is acceptable and what isn't, he is not under my care and guidance in that respect.

    My son requires my guidance, love and and teaching to learn how to behave, to stay safe and to grow into a responsible and disciplined young man.

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  11. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    We are all human beings that deserve the same respect and consideration. Children especially need to be coached and guided, with even more respect and consideration, they are small people still learning and growing.
    Yes, and if smacking is done properly, with appropriate warning measures, appropriate strength, in appropriate situations etc etc, then it is certainly not disrespectful or inconsiderate to the child in any way.

    All the anti-smacking people on here are totally ignoring all the caveats we are talking about. I believe a lot of you have experienced horribly wrong methods and this has totally prejudiced you from seeing how it can be done in a safe and effective manner.

    Same as some people are against timeout because they were locked in their room for hours or whatever.

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  13. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by rainbow road View Post
    IMO there is no line. Hitting another person should be illegal no matter their age or the reasons behind it.
    in our family we dont hit people. my children are people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think this is why it should be unlawful to smack a child - we all have different ideas on what a 'smack' is and some people take it way too far.
    when will we finally join the 32 civilised countries who protect children from violence??

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