+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 23 FirstFirst ... 8910111220 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 230
  1. #91
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    The same as I'd feel if he told me I couldn't play with a certain friend, made me go to bed at a certain time, restricted what I could eat.……

    Ya know, all the stuff that comes with being a 'parent'.

    I can't speak for your relationship
    VicPark but if my partner tried to 'parent' me rather than treat me as an equal, it wouldn't be much of a relationship in my eyes.

    This is why I find it ridiculous reasoning - how can you compare a husband using a smack as 'discipline' to a parent disciplining their child?

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to HugsBunny For This Useful Post:

    Hannahly  (18-06-2012)

  3. #92
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    155
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked
    18
    Reviews
    0
    I think the lines get so blurred because somehow people get smacking confused with outright abuse.

    Sure, our parents or grandparent may have gotten the wooden spoon and that wasn't considered abuse back then, but things have changed. It used to not be considered abuse for a man to beat his wife with a rod, for some perspective!

    I personally liken smacking to the way an animal will treat their young, giving gentle swats to keep them in line before they learn the way things work.

    I always said I would never smack, but I did. Mostly for immediate danger, and I found it to be effective when my son was young (2ish-4ish). I don't think it occurred much by the time he was 4, because it had outlived it's purpose.

    People talking about hitting their child with an object need to be aware that that's abuse, not parenting.

  4. #93
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    155
    Thanks
    54
    Thanked
    18
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    She thinks it's okay because she was abused and assaulted in a similar way.
    This is very true.

    Hers&hers, as someone that works in research, let me say that while yes you can find a research paper to validate just about anything, research into abuse especially is replicated and validated. There are deeper things at work than what you're acknowledging. I don't think ganging up on you was the best way about it, but please just take a few minutes from your day and look into the cycle of abuse and the denial that goes along with it. No one's saying you're a bad parent, in fact it doesn't sound like that at all, but we can all reevaluate our choices and learn something new.
    Last edited by MaybeBabyNo2; 18-06-2012 at 10:51.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to MaybeBabyNo2 For This Useful Post:

    MissMuppet  (19-06-2012)

  6. #94
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    3,037
    Thanks
    1,498
    Thanked
    730
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I had a few smacks as a child..even a wooden spoon..it has not affected me..I smack my girl if REALLY necessary..but it isn't really a punsihment I often choose..

  7. #95
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,834
    Thanks
    564
    Thanked
    1,962
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I stop as soon as they are old enough to call the kids help line..as its embarrassing and annoying when they get Docs involved...




    I dont smack so cant answer.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Ishtyban For This Useful Post:

    AllYouNeedIsLove  (18-06-2012),ChickyBee  (18-06-2012),Elijahs Mum  (18-06-2012)

  9. #96
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,222
    Thanks
    1,146
    Thanked
    425
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    as children:
    my hubby was hit with the wooden spoon, got the cane at school. imo that is abuse, along with a lot of emotional abuse handed out by the church his family attended.
    i was smacked on the bottom a handful of times but mostly was given time out.

    i have smacked my son on the bottom (one smack) a handful of times for dangerous things (running in the carpark etc.) which i think is justified. once he started school there was no need to smack anymore as he was mature enough to know what was dangerous or not. so he probably got 5 'smacks' between the ages of 2-4.

  10. #97
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    14,057
    Thanks
    1,875
    Thanked
    2,608
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I was smacked, with a belt and cricket bat. Granted I lived in a country where it was legal, and the cane was still used in schools (vomit). When we moved to Australia, though, it continued when it should have stopped (for legal reasons at the very least).
    I am ok, I turned out fine. BUT that doesn't mean it didn't affect me.
    I could never trust my parents, they weren't people I could approach because I was scared of them. I also never respected them, what relationship is one without trust and respect? It MASSIVELY impacted my relationship with them.
    I was abused as a kid, and as a teenager. My parents didn't smack me coz I didn't understand (or they would have smacked my disabled sister, but they didn't) they smacked me to control me. They STILL want to have control over me, and I'm nearly 23!

    I've got a 4yo who has NEVER run away from me onto the road or in the shops. It is my job to ensure she is always safe, and that's what I did/do. Same for my nearly 2yo. I don't believe smacking them for my error would teach them anything. If I couldn't trust my 2yo to hold my hand without running in a dangerous area, I'd carry her or put her in the pram.

  11. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Guest1234 For This Useful Post:

    beccacino  (18-06-2012),Brandnewbeginnings  (18-06-2012),KillerHeels  (18-06-2012),Lincolns mummy  (18-06-2012),MissMuppet  (19-06-2012)

  12. #98
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    10,309
    Thanks
    3,126
    Thanked
    6,315
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post

    I've got a 4yo who has NEVER run away from me onto the road or in the shops. It is my job to ensure she is always safe, and that's what I did/do. Same for my nearly 2yo. I don't believe smacking them for my error would teach them anything. If I couldn't trust my 2yo to hold my hand without running in a dangerous area, I'd carry her or put her in the pram.
    Well said - this is how I was raised and am raising DS

  13. #99
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    The same as I'd feel if he told me I couldn't play with a certain friend, made me go to bed at a certain time, restricted what I could eat.……

    Ya know, all the stuff that comes with being a 'parent'.

    I can't speak for your relationship
    VicPark but if my partner tried to 'parent' me rather than treat me as an equal, it wouldn't be much of a relationship in my eyes.

    This is why I find it ridiculous reasoning - how can you compare a husband using a smack as 'discipline' to a parent disciplining their child?
    Because if it would Damage you if hubby treated you like this, what do you think it would be like for your kids?

    If hubby wants something from
    You and can't hit you to get it.. What should he do? Put his thinking cap on and come up with a better way.? The same should apply to parents.

  14. #100
    rainbow road's Avatar
    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    in a glass case of emotion
    Posts
    12,408
    Thanks
    1,187
    Thanked
    8,056
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    IMO there is no line. Hitting another person should be illegal no matter their age or the reasons behind it.

  15. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to rainbow road For This Useful Post:

    austmum  (18-06-2012),Guest1234  (18-06-2012),Lillynix  (18-06-2012),Mrs Molly Coddle  (18-06-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Smacking
    By october in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 16-08-2012, 07:05
  2. Smacking
    By Jarylee in forum General Chat
    Replies: 166
    Last Post: 08-02-2012, 21:13

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
ProSwim
ProSwim Rostrevor runs learn to swim classes for children and adults. Lessons are run during the Summer months (Oct-Mar). Our indoor centre at Plympton Park has lessons all year round, including school holidays.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!