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  1. #1
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    Default Why do i bother telling him??

    DD is almost 6 and diagnosed Autistic. All her life she's had medical issues.

    Last night DD ate a small amount of omo laundry powder. I immediatly called 13health and then the poison info centre. They said given the way i discribed her condition she was absolutly fine, just to keep an eye on her.

    So i text her father (we've been divorced 3 yrs and live in different areas) explaining what DD had done, thinking he'd want to know.

    Well, why the hell do i bother?? I got the blame of course, i should be watching her 24/7, shouldnt let her have access to things like washing powder.
    Of course i should know she'd try to eat that.

    I text him back saying im not able to be at her side 24/7, she was going to the toilet. I suggested the likeness between when he had DD last holidays and she went missing for 10mins when he let her go to the toilet alone at a family property out bush with a dam and uncovered water tank...

    I explained DD has 'Pica', which is a common condition amongst ASD kids and his reply? 'Its always a condition with you'.

    Im bloody over being blamed, he should be bloody grateful that im busting my *** to provide the very best care for OUR daughter. I text him that and he didn't reply, surprise surprise.

  2. #2
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    I am in a similar boat, as you know. My decision as of recently, I tell him, I ignore negative responses, and I try not to take it personally.
    When he says horrible things, just remember who is with her every day raising her to be the gorgeous girl she is.

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to flyawayfree For This Useful Post:

    BaronessM  (17-06-2012),Izy  (17-06-2012)

  4. #3
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    Your so right T. I shouldnt listen to crap from someone who has no idea. It hurts though. I wish it didnt

  5. #4
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    I always get blamed too, even when we were still married I always got blamed. I remember once when one of my kids was sitting next to me and fell and bumped their head, apparantly I should have been closer, and if HE was there it wouldn't have happened.

    I've decided I'm not going to tell him much from now on anyway. A couple of weeks ago DS1 was really sick and needed blood tests, I told ex but it just turned into a sh!tfight as he didn't seem to care at all, I pulled him up on it as I was offended, he got abusive etc etc etc I'm sure you all know the drill. Then a week later DD and DS2 got sick too and I mentioned it and all I got was "whaddya want me to do about it". Grrr, nothing f#cktard, just a simple "that's no good, give them my love" would be nice though. So I've decided I'm not going to bother anymore unless it is something major or it relates to him caring for them during his time.

    Sorry to hear you copped that, I'm sure you are doing your very best, and there's no way that they can be watched 100% of the time. I'm glad your DD is ok.

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    LivinOnAPrayer  (17-06-2012)

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    I tell him, and if there is fall back, I tell him to take it up with the relevant authorities if Im that bad a parent To my knowledge he hasnt. DS just happens to be sickly child - less so since we discovered the whole wheat is bad for him thing.

    I hope your DD is feeling okay this morning :hug:

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    LivinOnAPrayer  (17-06-2012)

  9. #6
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    That sucks, LOAP. You too, CMF. Makes it so hard to parent when you feel judged when all you were doing was sharing info the other parent should WANT to know. LOAP, I do hope that DD is ok. Indeed you can't be by her side 24/7, and it must be doubly/triply hard dealing with Pica. Such a hard thing to manage, even for adults who understand the consequences of their actions. Big hugs from here!
    Last edited by BaronessM; 17-06-2012 at 10:54.

  10. #7
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    Wow thats a pretty big call saying you should be there 24/7 when he clearly isn't around that much. Sorry he is being a jerk.

  11. #8
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    Thanks everyone, DD is fine. She must have only had a taste but its hard to tell if she's being honest so thought i'd better call the poison info line to be safe.

    BF reakons he has lots he could say about my parenting... well, i could say the same to him but of course i dont because im not a *****.

    I guess i'll have to learn how to ignore him.

    Will be interesting to see when he bothers to call DD again, not that she ever wants to talk to him

  12. #9
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    As if you can watch her 24/7!!! I agree it should have been left in a place she couldn't get it but who doesnt make mistakes? I was reading a book one day and DD came up to me with a packet of nurofen tablets =\

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    This is part of the nonsense I'm over. You have to analyse everything you tell them, and how you tell them. Will this be misconstrued. If he see's xyz picture will it depict you badly as a parent. Will that one picture or one comment risk your rights as a parent if the ex has a good solicitor? Even things that are safe, if they 'appear' or can be misconstrued...

    You're not allowed to make any mistakes or have any moments of inattention when you're coparenting with an ex. Not only do you have to do it all alone but you have to be perfect at it all too.

    Flipping over it too

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