+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Launceston, Tasmania
    Posts
    617
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked
    75
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Giving birth alone..... I think this might be me this time :( advice please.......

    ok so as the title says there is a chance I might not have any support people this time round for the following reasons...
    A. I'm a single parent so no partner to hold my hand.
    B. My mum is unwell and not upto the helping plus she will be having my 3yo while I have baby.
    C. My sister who was there when DD was born has been a bit of a selfish cow the last couple of months and is very woe is me I have 3 girls under 6 and I need a break when it suits me. Everything is me me me she even asked me to change my baby shower date after the invites went out in favor of a child's birthday party. I could go on and on but I think you get my drift. There is a very good chance we may have an argument before delivery day if she doesn't give it a rest cause I'm over it. PS. She has a partner who does heaps for her and doesn't get a lot of thanks in return.
    D. My cousin and very good friend who was also there for DDs birth has some big probes with her 19yo son at the moment suicidal etc and I don't feel right about relying on her to be there for me knowing what she is going through and I don't feel right I even asking will she be able to manage it (I'm way too independent for my own good sometimes and hate asking people for anything big or small).

    I don't have many close friends and there is no one else I would be comfortable in asking to be there so I'm trying to psych myself up to doing it on my own (am upsetting myself just writing this) as I may not have a choice.

    So I guess I'm after some happy stories from anyone who has given birth with no support person to hopefully make myself feel better if this is the way it goes for me.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    nowhere
    Posts
    410
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked
    71
    Reviews
    1
    Oh Hun I'm so sorry I don't know your relationship with the father but even if your not together might he want too see the birth/ be with you for it? Sorry if I'm way if course, just putting it out there?

    Would you be able to get a sitter for your girls, or ask your sister if she could please take them, so your mum could go with you? Surely she would do that so you'd not be alone for the birth?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    3,307
    Thanks
    46
    Thanked
    985
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Could you get to know a student nurse??

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to happygirl1982 For This Useful Post:

    patsmum  (18-06-2012)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    844
    Thanks
    121
    Thanked
    142
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by happygirl1982 View Post
    Could you get to know a student nurse??
    ^^ this or a student oula who is looking for some practice?

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Launceston, Tasmania
    Posts
    617
    Thanks
    230
    Thanked
    75
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks for the feedback girls but unfortunately your suggestions just don't work for me. I've never heard of any trainee midwives or doulas here where I live and I couldn't afford to pay anyone. My mums health means she is not physically capable of being there even if she wanted to and also she had myself and my siblings on her own so she really doesn't see what the problem is. I have someone organised to watch my daughter if my mum isn't well enough and my hospital stay is extended.

    I had my baby shower today which in the end I had to organise and do everything for because in the end my sister couldn't be bothered. Also my sister was 40 minutes late and sat around and did nothing to help which is not unusual, ever. What hurt the most was when she said "seen one birth seen em all, if I miss it I miss it". That cut because I went out of my way to support her when she had her girls, I had unpaid days off work and paid for someone to babysit my daughter so she wouldn't be alone ever (her partner had a job with very limited flexibility). At the moment I don't think I even want her there for the birth if she could be bothered.

    I'm so over supporting everybody else and getting nothing in return.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Brisbane North
    Posts
    4,460
    Thanks
    1,581
    Thanked
    1,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    im so sorry to hear that, what about neighbours? are you friendly with any of them? even a familiar face might help. do you go to any gym's, mother's groups or anything like that?

  8. #7
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Posts
    833
    Thanks
    1,150
    Thanked
    420
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hun talk to your cousin, although she is going through a lot she may really look forward to being there for something so wonderful, may give her a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to AllYouNeedIsLove For This Useful Post:

    nelle7250  (18-06-2012)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    1,481
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked
    152
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I would defiantly try and find out if there are any students or student doulas around. Maybe ask at a local uni? Or even the hospital- they will have had people in for practicals.

    They might not be a close friend but at least you would have someone with experience and knowledge to help you through and support you.

    Goodluck, sorry I had my DH with me both times so I can't help with the later of your question.

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    1,975
    Thanks
    324
    Thanked
    804
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I've read a thread on this you'd before, and I know some bubhubbers have birthed alone, so I'm sure someone will have personal experience.

    A couple of things come to mind... You've got three girls already, right? So you CAN do it, you're so strong, you can achieve anything for your babies, even birthing alone. (I know after the births of my 2 girls, I could confidently do it alone if need be).

    Midwives are fantastic, if you showed up alone, they would definately asign you someone to be with you all the time, so you'd never be alone.

    All nurses and midwives do a placement as students, so your hospital will have students who need experience, just ask them.

    Write a detailed birthplan in advance, if decisions have to be made and you're in pain, you may need it.

    Ask your cousin though, she sounds like your best bet.

    Good luck.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    495
    Thanks
    106
    Thanked
    127
    Reviews
    0
    I Delivered my DS with just an ambulance officer (and the driver) present and while it was nice having DH there for the delivery of both my DDs, I don't really notice if he's there or not until the end when all the hard work is done.. I just focus on what I have to do and on what the midwives are saying and that is what gets me through it.

    If the person that is going to be there isn't supporting you emotionally then it probably wouldn't make a difference if they were there for you or not, don't you agree?

    I'd just be making sure that the hospital know you'll be on your own and they'll make sure you have someone there to support you. My SIL is a midwife and she has said before that they often have people on their own and they provide them more one on one attention than if they have one (or heaps of) support person(s).


 

Similar Threads

  1. I.B.S. and giving birth. ESpecially relating to water birth.
    By Sweetpez in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 03-12-2012, 13:04
  2. I'm excited about giving birth
    By WhitePeach in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 22-08-2012, 14:01
  3. Anybody giving birth in December?
    By GlitterFarts in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 01-07-2012, 10:35

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!