+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17
  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    176
    Thanked
    145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default How do you deal?

    With the frustration of trying to communicate with your kids' father? And their family?

    I am generally on good terms with XDP.. He frustrates the F&*k out of me though and just doesn't. Get. It. We have a 5 mth old DD who he sees twice-ish a week (not enough IMO but he works 60 hours a week). Anyway, his Mum hasn't seen DD since the day I had her, shes arranged things with me and cancelled, not called when she is going to etc. XDP only told me last night he'd arranged for us to drive 1.5 hrs to see her tomorrow, I asked if he could see if she'd come to us or meet halfway which he said he would.. I reminded him THREE times today and he spoke to her at 8pm tonight and for some reason we are still going the full way to her at 7:30 in the f#+king morning!!!!!! DD isn't even awake then! When I said this, he cracked it and said he doesn't even want to go, he'll see how he feels in the morning.. WTF! I cancelled my appt for a massage and facial (voucher given for my birthday) so we could go, but WHY can't he understand that he needs to ask me or at least work around DD.. Or even keep a plan!

    Argh. Sorry for the novel but I am fuming! How do you cope? I am really struggling not to snap :-(
    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    Last edited by PorkyPies; 16-06-2012 at 22:31.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    8,794
    Thanks
    3,395
    Thanked
    3,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I don't deal with it. We are not in contact with her father or any of his family.

  3. #3
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I just kept repeating 'this too shall pass' and documented everything but that was due to court proceedings and I found it really helped because I knew he was going to get smashed in court.

    But he's dropped the case now and things are really tense just now when it should be awesome. I have lost it at him twice in the last 2.5 weeks and just told it how it is.

    I'm not *****y, I'm truthful. He doesn't like hearing the truth.

    I know you just want to keep the peace with him but you need to tell him how it is. Your dd should come first and I think you should be making the grandma come to you. Why should a five month old spend that much time in a car for someone who can't make the effort to see her?

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to HugsBunny For This Useful Post:

    PorkyPies  (16-06-2012)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    176
    Thanked
    145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    :-( So, so infuriating. I feel like I bend over backwards to ensure we stay on good terms, but for some reason he just doesn't understand.

    Have you always had no contact with FOB? Hugs for you too!

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Ocean Shores
    Posts
    3,562
    Thanks
    6
    Thanked
    114
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    OP this sounds like the story of my life, and five and a half years later it's still the same.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    580
    Thanks
    176
    Thanked
    145
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    They all sound so similar.

    Bunnyhugs, I am going to use that point about being in the car for a 3 hr round trip when she hasn't even bothered.. I wish I understood the psychology behind it all. Why does my family give a hoot and understands these things but he and his don't?! :S

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

  8. #7
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    6,603
    Thanks
    4,531
    Thanked
    1,966
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by MumToBeat23 View Post
    They all sound so similar.

    Bunnyhugs, I am going to use that point about being in the car for a 3 hr round trip when she hasn't even bothered.. I wish I understood the psychology behind it all. Why does my family give a hoot and understands these things but he and his don't?! :S

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub
    Well, he doesn't because he's male and I think some men don't get it cos they're not as connected to the babies as we are. I said 'some' men, not all.

    His family? Who knows??? But they're his problem hun, not yours.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I don't deal with it. We are not in contact with her father or any of his family.
    This

  10. #9
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    762
    Thanks
    115
    Thanked
    161
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I don't deal with it. We are not in contact with her father or any of his family.
    ditto.


    OP maybe tell him straight out that while you want to encourage bubs relationship with his family it goes both ways they too need to put in the effort too and that means them coming to see bub in her environment, and he needs to ask you before making plans for you and bub.
    I personally wouldnt have cancelled a thing since he didnt tell/ask you in advance and told him that due to the late notice yous cant go

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    644
    Thanks
    301
    Thanked
    133
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    His family? Who knows??? But they're his problem hun, not yours.
    Firstly, this ^^. His family, his problem. Unless you want it to be your problem...

    AFM - I got consent orders to deal with this issue because not having consent orders, wasnt working for us for this reason. If FOB family want contact they do it through FOB on his time. I figure they dont like me . FOB and I communicate very poorly at the best of times.
    Last edited by Maia; 17-06-2012 at 10:25. Reason: privacy


 

Similar Threads

  1. That's life deal or no deal & price is right competition.
    By austmum in forum Movies / Music / Books / TV Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 18-07-2012, 17:57
  2. How do you deal with it?
    By res79 in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 26-03-2012, 21:40

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Obstetrician, Gynaecologist, IVF Specialist
Dr Terry Sheahan - Brisbane Obstetrician, Gynaecologist, IVF Specialist
Dr Terry Sheahan is a highly respected Obstetrician, Gynaecologist and IVF Specialist on Brisbane's Northside. To book an appointment or for information about his Affordable Low-Gaps Obstetrics please call his rooms on (07) 3353 3100
featured supporter
Melbourne Natural Medicine Clinic
Leading natural health practitioners in fertility, preconception, pregnancy, and children's health. We take an integrative approach all health professionals and offer diagnostic testing and natural treatment options suitable for the whole family.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!