I got a shocker today. Shocking mainly in the fact that it came from my DP who, for two weeks has managed to only say the right things. Plus I have been complaining to him about how some comments are unhelpful.
He said "Well at least you can have a miscarriage." my reply included a lot of swearing which I wont repeat here but the basic message was "that does me a fat lot of good. No one wants to be able to get pregnant if they cant have a live baby at the end of it. I would rather not get pregnant at all if all it meant is that my baby would die. My ability to conceive is no consolation unless I actually manage to have a live baby at the end of it." Grrr, too tired and stressed to think about what came out of his mouth I think.
Lol I was too shocked to punch him! Had come to expect that kind of thing from him - after all here's a 'man' who sent me alone (on foot) to find a doctor when I started bleeding with m/c #1 crying and snotting to the medical centre down the road..
My friend (same workplace different manager) was pregnant, accidentally, with twins and yes she was considering her options... But still! she started bleeding at work, and her (female) boss told her 'well you probably were going to have an abortion anyway so no big loss there - will you be back at work tomorrow?'
The attitude of my workplace helps me not feel guilty for having had two lots of maternity leave and no plans to go back to that place!!
The one I heard today wasnt as bad but it still left me with not much to say. I was told by the doctor after I passed my baby that she needed the placenta for testing so when the midwife came in I asked for a pot to catch it in because the thing was coming out soon. She hurried back thinking I had already passed the placenta and not known it and flushed it. I ran straight for the toilet and came out with a little pot full of placenta to which she replies "Wow, you're good at this!" I'm left thinking "Awesome! This was soo the thing I wanted to be good at!"
Oh I'm so sorry that you were all treated like this. My friend just had her 2nd m/c and I said to her that I am here for her should she need anything and then we sat on the couch together and she layed on me and just cryed, I feel very sorry for her as I'm pregnant with number 2 at the moment. I just told her that its ok to cry and to hate the world.
I think the best thing you can do for someone in this situation is just listen and allow them the oppourtunity to express it however they feel comfortable.
My sister in law said to me after I lost my son at 20 weeks (born sleeping) and then said again when I mc a year later, was well at least you can get pregnant.
Now I know to normal ears that might not sound harsh, but to a woman who has lost her belly bubs it's a horrible thing to say.
That's awful Kimnus I'm so sorry
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