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  1. #101
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    We got that too kirst33.

    One person compared me to a mutual friend who had lost her husband andwas explaining to me how its so so sad for her because she can never replace him or those memories yet you can go on to have another baby. Ahh no. I'll never get to have jaxson again. plus she CAN re marry (of course I know it's not the same as him, but still, it's not as if she could NEVER have another husband) took me a year to fall pregnant again and I didn't know if I'd ever be able to have a child so her comments really annoyed me.

  2. #102
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    Default Re: Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    When a mum gushes so much over her babies once she's heard my story i tend to think that it's beautiful that my loss can make them more present and appreciative of their child. (Has taken me about five years to get to this point though)

    Spent from my dome. Excuse autocorrect

  3. #103
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    Default Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    My main point has been (although I've only thought it, not said it) but if my husband died you wouldn't tell me 'oh you can just get a new husband' so why on earth would you say that to me about my baby? Dealing with people this Christmas showed me how taboo miscarriage and stillbirth are, nobody wants to talk about it at risk of being inappropriate or making somebody feel awkward. But we have to talk about and ask questions so that others learn the extent of the loss and the complexities of our feelings and grief. Then maybe stupid comments would slow down!

  4. #104
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    Now that I am pregnant again, people have just decided that pretending the miscarriage didnt happen is the best way. Its like "she's got a baby now so its all good" This baby will never replace River. Not ever. It will be loved but I will always love and miss my first baby and she will always be my first baby. Nothing can change that.

  5. #105
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    Default Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    I personally haven't had a loss but my Mum lost my sister to strep b when my sister was only two days old. This was 33 years ago and they just took the baby from mum when they realized she was sick, took her to another hospital and told mum she wouldn't make it, then that she was dead. Mum didn't even get a photo of her :-( she was told to get over it, that she shouldn't be sad coz she didn't even know her seeing she was only with her for a few hours :-( my poor mum is still devastated (rightly so!) she will never heal. If only heartfelt or counseling were available back then, it wouldn't save Bianca or bring her back but they could have helped my mum.

  6. #106
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    Default Re: Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    I just had my 7th miscarriage last week my sister said it could be worse at least it wasnt a baby baby I was so mad just I found out at 8 weeks that the baby had died at 6 weeks just because it was tiny doesnt not mean it wasnt a baby to me soon as I got a bfp it.was a baby I also had someone say why are you upset after 7 miscarriages you should be use to them

  7. #107
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    Default Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    Quote Originally Posted by 6 years trying View Post
    I just had my 7th miscarriage last week my sister said it could be worse at least it wasnt a baby baby I was so mad just I found out at 8 weeks that the baby had died at 6 weeks just because it was tiny doesnt not mean it wasnt a baby to me soon as I got a bfp it.was a baby I also had someone say why are you upset after 7 miscarriages you should be use to them
    That's fckd up! Hugs x

  8. #108
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    Default Re: Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    This is why i hardly say anything to people going through a hard time cause i wanna say something that will help but might come across mean or upset them more. Instead i make cookies cupcakes and cakes lol

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

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  10. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by bressar View Post
    When i told my mum her response was 'oh really, what a shame'. She then went on to talking about her cats
    My first pregnancy was with twin boys. When one died and the other was born at 31 weeks, my mother joked that we should call him 'Lucky'.

    It was as if the other baby hadn't existed or didn't matter.

  11. #110
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    Just had a miscarriage last week. Very lucky in that it happened on NYE, whilst I was at a party with some friends, however the 2 women that were there had also gone through it, so have been amazingly supportive, letting me chat, telling me their stories etc.
    I almost laughed reading some of the stupid things people say, then I realised, "No its not a joke, not the 'top 10 things not to say to a woman who's miscarried'. People ACTUALLY said this stuff." I think there's a reason God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth. We need to listen twice as much as we speak. Big hugs to all who have gone through a miscarriage/going through one.

    It feels like my heart has been ripped out, with an open, gaping wound left. Unfotunately like every other wound, time may heal it (somewhat) but there will always be a scar.


 

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