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  1. #1
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    Default Awful/Stupid Things People Say When You Tell Them You Have Miscarried

    It's a heartbreaking time under any circumstances but the clueless thing people say just make it that much worse. My personal hates are:
    * Ohh well, you can just try again.
    * It just wasn't meant to be.
    * Maybe it's for the best, now you can try at a better time. (Said by MIL because we had just bought a house and moved when I was in the first trimester).
    * Better this than a disabled baby (also MIL and I work with disabled children so this just made me want to hit her.)
    * Are you sure you didn't have any idea? (because it was a missed misscarriage)
    * I thought something wasnt right, I kinda thought something was wrong. I just didn't want to say anything. (well why say it now then? I told u so doesnt help)
    * Here, do you want to hold this new little baby?

    AARRGGHHH! Why do people not think before they open thier mouths?

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    KaraB  (19-01-2014)

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    When my mother had a miscarriage, her mother (my Grandmother) said to her, "why are you so upset, it wasn't even a baby yet"

    Tildy, so sorry that people have said such hurtful things to you

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    All of the above, plus

    Everything happens for a reason
    And
    Obviously it's your body's way/natures way of saying something wasn't right/something was wrong.

    I'm sure there is more but you covered the worst of them

  5. #4
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    Oh and the icing on the cake when I had a chemical (had known I was pregnant for a week and confirmed by dr)....

    "you probably weren't even pregnant"

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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    All of the above, plus

    Everything happens for a reason
    And
    Obviously it's your body's way/natures way of saying something wasn't right/something was wrong.

    I'm sure there is more but you covered the worst of them
    these might annoy lot of people but when I m/c I found these more comforting than anything else.

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    austmum  (16-06-2012),Blueberry Crumble  (17-06-2012),Bonkers  (16-06-2012),butterfly2013  (24-12-2012),captainscaptain  (23-09-2012),Cheetara  (13-08-2012),Cheffry  (18-07-2012),Tangwyn  (01-01-2014)

  8. #6
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    People just don't seem to know what to say so they try and find a positive no matter how stupid Firstly sorry for your loss. Its been 17days since we said goodbye. People have said some hurtful things the top of my list are all said by my mum:

    it wasn't even a baby
    You weren't that far along why are you so upset
    Better you lost it then having a disabled child
    Better you lost it early then have a late mc

    Quote Originally Posted by Tildy View Post
    It's a heartbreaking time under any circumstances but the clueless thing people say just make it that much worse. My personal hates are:
    * Ohh well, you can just try again.
    * It just wasn't meant to be.
    * Maybe it's for the best, now you can try at a better time. (Said by MIL because we had just bought a house and moved when I was in the first trimester).
    * Better this than a disabled baby (also MIL and I work with disabled children so this just made me want to hit her.)
    * Are you sure you didn't have any idea? (because it was a missed misscarriage)
    * I thought something wasnt right, I kinda thought something was wrong. I just didn't want to say anything. (well why say it now then? I told u so doesnt help)
    * Here, do you want to hold this new little baby?

    AARRGGHHH! Why do people not think before they open thier mouths?

  9. #7
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    My Mum was with me at my first scan, and when the Dr said there was no heart beat she responded with "well at least it's not twins!". The Dr had no idea what to say. Mum didn't mean it in a bad way, she just didn't know what else to say.

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    My worst would be by the person doing the scan. She said "yer its dead." I started to cry and she followed up with "don't cry it was just a bit of skin and bone".

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by loving6 View Post
    My worst would be by the person doing the scan. She said "yer its dead." I started to cry and she followed up with "don't cry it was just a bit of skin and bone".
    Wow, I would be taking legal action if a "professional" said that to me.

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    austmum  (16-06-2012),KaraB  (19-01-2014),LoveLivesHere  (18-06-2012),Missbean  (27-12-2012),Mumma Katt  (29-12-2012)

  13. #10
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    You're young you can try again
    Usually when this happens there is something wrong with the baby (erhm u know this how?)

    Both said the next say by my discharge ob.

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub


 

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