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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonhead View Post
    I can usually laugh most things off, or fire back something ten times more offensive to anyone who has the nerve to even try and p!ss me off, but after DD dies a family member asked my mum why we were even bothering to have a funeral because we only knew DD for 4 days and couldn't have been that attached.

    For the very first time in my life, I was speechless lol. I can shrug it off now, but when it was very raw...it hurt, and made me feel like I was maybe making a big deal about nothing kwim?



    Jesus. What is wrong with people?
    OMG I am so so sorry Lemonhead. You may be able to shrug it off now but I sure can't and it wasn't even my baby. I'm so sorry for your loss
    My baby died at 11 weeks and my world ended that day. I can't even imagine how awful it would have been to actually have met my bubba and then have him taken from me. Whoever said that to you needs to be shot!

    So sorry to you to Anagram

  2. #22
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    After dd was born (I think she was 10 days old) dp's uncle and his wife (who is Laos) came over to see bub, first thing she says to be is "oh you put on some weight girl" and pat my stomach. I was thinking actually I've just lost a baby's worth of weight, but I didn't say anything just stood there gobsmacked. Sil piped up and said "ah she just had a baby" bless her. It kinda upset me cos I was actually feeling pretty good about my weight had lost my big belly and I didnt think I looked that bad. Crazy woman.

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  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonhead View Post
    I don't know if she meant to be nasty. I know death can make people feel uncomfortable and go through a whole lot of emotions...it may have been fear, or just not knowing what to say.

    We've experienced a lot of comments that are quite similar, but I like to think people usually say it out of ignorance, rather than trying to hurt you.
    You are an inspiration, Lemonhead. I'd be far less forgiving

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  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonhead View Post
    I can usually laugh most things off, or fire back something ten times more offensive to anyone who has the nerve to even try and p!ss me off, but after DD dies a family member asked my mum why we were even bothering to have a funeral because we only knew DD for 4 days and couldn't have been that attached.

    For the very first time in my life, I was speechless lol. I can shrug it off now, but when it was very raw...it hurt, and made me feel like I was maybe making a big deal about nothing kwim?



    Jesus. What is wrong with people?
    OMG i'm speachless

    reminds me of when DP dad died, MIL going around saying sheis now a widow (excitedly), they had been seperated for about 18 years. just never divorced but were on very good speaking terms, and then proceeds to tell me that DP didnt have much to do with FIL anyway so he wont really be affected by it.
    umm no she was wrong. they had started to make amends and had gotten quite close actually so he was really distraught when his dad passed.

    but a baby.. geez a baby is still a person. you still developed a connection and emotions during the pregnancy. geez

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    You are an inspiration, Lemonhead. I'd be far less forgiving
    You can forgive or you can hold onto the hate. Holding onto the hate poisons nobody but yourself.

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  10. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lemonhead View Post
    You can forgive or you can hold onto the hate. Holding onto the hate poisons nobody but yourself.
    I agree with entirely and admire you so much for feeling this way. I don't know if I would be able to if something like that happened to me. I agree with you that it is unlikely that she meant to be nasty - just really stupid.

  11. #27
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    A week after I had given birth to DS1 I had to go to centrelink to hand in all the paper work. I was only 19, had no idea what being a mother was all about, but was trying my hardest. DS1 was crying because he was hungry, but I wasn't able to feed him (breastfeeding) because I was next in line, when one of the centrelink staff members came up to me and told me that "my screaming baby was upsetting other customers, and could I shut him up" they were here exact words and still stick with me to this day. I ended up in tears, back then I was so sensitive and also worried about judgement, plus I had only given birth a week prior. When i got called up the lady that served me could see I was a mess and urged me to make a formal complaint against her fellow college because she was so out of line, but all I wanted to do was get out of there.

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  13. #28
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    Wow, that is beyond rude Lemonhead. I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of your loss : (

    Mine wasn't to me but to my ds. He was born with congenital ptosis (droopy eyelids). We've been through surgery, glasses, and are patching for four hours a day to repair the damage to his vision in his left eye and there was the constant worry that it wouldn't work and he'll loose sight in that eye altogether. And just as bad is the terrible worry about how he'll be treated because he looks a bit different (the surgery was pretty successful so I don't worry do much about this now). But before the op, when he was about 11 months old, we were in a shop and the assistant asked what was 'wrong' with his eyes. People often felt the need to ask. I explained briefly. She then felt the need to lean down to him and say 'you look funny with your droopy eyelids'. W.T.F!!!!!???

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  15. #29
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    A Centerlink worker told my sons father that he was 'too white' to be aboriginal when we partnered together

    Sent from my MB526 using BubHub

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  17. #30
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    I'm sure there have been other things that I can't remember anymore, or have blanked, but the first thing that popped into my head was after I found out that an ex had been cheating on me for a couple of months with a woman much older than me, who was supposed to be at least kind of a friend to me. Anyway, her ex-husband told me that he suspected the affair all along, and asked if I could give him the details, if I was up to it. I thought he definitely deserved to know the truth, so I told him everything I knew. Something bad went down after that, because a couple of hours later I got a text from the b!tch in question, going on about how I'd destroyed the lives of her children, and how I was cruel and vengeful and how I shouldn't be a teacher if I was going to hurt children so badly (I was studying to be an early childhood teacher at the time). The "children" in question were all over 17 years old, mind you. I was gobsmacked and spent ages trying to come up with a witty reply, but then I figured the best thing I could do was ignore it and not reply at all.

    But to say I was livid was an understatement. Fancy blaming the most innocent party in the whole drama for destroying a family when this cow brought it all on herself.

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