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  1. #111
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    If my first baby wasn't born by casesarean, both he and I may have died. I knew this from around 20 weeks. I suppose it depends on how you view things overall. For me, it was a lifesaver. There was no other option. When I was first told, I was upset but that was that, and I moved on. He is now 12 and I don't have the slightest disappointment that I didn't have him naturally.

    I don't see the point in dwelling on something that, now, all these years later, isn't relevant (to me).

  2. #112
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    My nephew was a traumatic birth (vacuum, forceps, he got stuck because him arm was up). He's now special needs. Maybe related to the birth, maybe not.

    This was one of the reasons I chose a CS. I'm not "smug" about my choices. I did a lot of reading in the sections you've all so kindly referred me to.

    Of course there are bad CSs that result in trauma. And there's bad VBs that result in trauma. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about normal ones with normal recovery.

    Memories of the CS are such a small part of my memory. Instead I chose to focus on how amazing my DD is. I'm not about to dwell on any negatives in the past when I have so many positives right in front of me.

  3. #113
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    Wise Enough, have you not thought that perhaps people with birth trauma *may* only 'dwell on the negatives' when talking and 'reflecting' upon their past trauma? It's a thread asking about recovery perspectives, so of course people are going to reflect and comment on their feelings and perceptions of their recoveries and for some, it wasn't positive, for some it was. It doesn't automatically mean that there is this constant focusing of negatives and not 'moving on' or not marvelling enough at their kids, or basking in their awesomeness. It's the birth and recoveries that people have focused on, not their kids.

    Sadly for some, these memories aren't distant ones, we don't know when they gave birth, we also don't know if they're still suffering post natal depression, or post traumatic stress, things may be still raw.

    It's obviously a given that a baby born healthy and happy is what EVERY woman hopes for, there really is no need for people to keep harping on about that point. No one in their right mind would say otherwise.

    I am pleased and happy for you (genuinely so) that you are able to not dwell on your past, have no regrets about your choice to have a c/s and are happy your c/s went so well, but as you can see by this thread, that is not the case for all, so some of your previous comments have been very insensitive to say the least.

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  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    Of course there are bad CSs that result in trauma. And there's bad VBs that result in trauma. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about normal ones with normal recovery.
    No you're not. You were very clearly and in a condescending manner sneering at vaginal deliveries and those who want/mourn them. (Remember: "what do you think you've missed out on? the tearing, the incontinence, the special needs child, the agony") I'm very sorry about what your nephew has gone through, and obviously your personal life/experience has impacted on your choices but nobody is criticising or sneering at your choice, whereas you felt quite free to speak about vaginal deliveries in an insulting manner, totally disregarding others feelings. I don't think you've made any attempt to understand why your previous post upset so many here.

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  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    When people say they had no pain after a c/s and could walk fine, did you need any painkillers? Or you just got straight up and could do things with ease without any painkillers?
    I was up 1/2 an hour later, was walking 6 hours later. I actually loved sitting in bed feeding and cuddling my baby. I took the routine painkillers and with my second I took the endone, but only for the after pains (which I would've had if I'd VBAC'd anyway). My after pains were much more painful than the results of the c-section. I didn't get constipated nor did I have wind pains.

    Quote Originally Posted by EmyB View Post
    Can I turn this back on you as an experiment? As you say, not belittling your feelings, just pointing out another point of view:

    For those who do not understand wanting a vaginal birth: "do you not want to know what your body performing its ultimate function feels like? Do you not want to experience giving life to your child without the aid of surgeons and drugs? Do you really welcome what is potentially totally unnecessary major abdominal surgery, with chances down the track for adhesions/bowel obstructions/wound infections? Did you really look forward to the difficulty mobilising those first few magical hours with your child? Didn't you wish you could pee on your own immediately after delivery? You're okay with the risk of a scalpel wound on your child's face to scar them forever? Do you not wonder what it would have been like to deliver your child onto your chest, rather than have them held above a curtain with a stranger's gloved hands their first touch?"

    I mean, really. I'm amazed anyone can be so blindingly one-sided
    Stop trying to make it 'ugly', mine was a truly beautiful experience.

    I turned a cell into a human being, pushing them out of my vagina wouldn't change that. I'd consider that feat a woman's bodies 'ultimate function'. I gave them life by doing this and saved myself the hassle of having to push them out. Peeing on my own isn't really a high priority while I'm basking in the newborn bliss, I was quite content to adore them for a solid 6 hours.

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  9. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wise Enough View Post
    My nephew was a traumatic birth (vacuum, forceps, he got stuck because him arm was up). He's now special needs. Maybe related to the birth, maybe not.

    This was one of the reasons I chose a CS. I'm not "smug" about my choices. I did a lot of reading in the sections you've all so kindly referred me to.

    Of course there are bad CSs that result in trauma. And there's bad VBs that result in trauma. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about normal ones with normal recovery.

    Memories of the CS are such a small part of my memory. Instead I chose to focus on how amazing my DD is. I'm not about to dwell on any negatives in the past when I have so many positives right in front of me.
    You're not talking about normal births though? You referred to vaginal births as 'tearing, incontinence and special needs children'? And why someone would want that. That to me is a traumatic delivery, and you're implying all vaginal births result in this. But they don't, uncomplicated vaginal deliveries are much safer and have less post birth complications (infections, scarring etc) and shorter recovery times. Every professional and reading material will give you that information.
    By choosing a cs you obviously chose to look at the negatives and worst case scenarios in vaginal deliveries and that's fine, it's your choice to do that. But if a woman has had a bad experience with her cs how else do you expect her to look at it? You can easily say its a distant memory for you because you chose it and it wasn't a bad experience.
    Not everyone loved their cs and not everyone got the choice in having one.

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  11. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    I was up 1/2 an hour later, was walking 6 hours later. I actually loved sitting in bed feeding and cuddling my baby. I took the routine painkillers and with my second I took the endone, but only for the after pains (which I would've had if I'd VBAC'd anyway). My after pains were much more painful than the results of the c-section. I didn't get constipated nor did I have wind pains.



    Stop trying to make it 'ugly', mine was a truly beautiful experience.

    I turned a cell into a human being, pushing them out of my vagina wouldn't change that. I'd consider that feat a woman's bodies 'ultimate function'. I gave them life by doing this and saved myself the hassle of having to push them out. Peeing on my own isn't really a high priority while I'm basking in the newborn bliss, I was quite content to adore them for a solid 6 hours.
    It just goes to show how different everyone is. My spinal took 2 hrs to wear off past my breast and I was stuck in recovery alone till then. Then I was on the drugs and including a long labour I felt like I'd been hit by a bus! But I loved feeding the baby too, that's the best bit.
    I had terrible after birth pains with my 1st and because of the failed epi (which went in 5 times) and then the spinal, I suffered back pain which put me back in hospital on painkillers.
    But the 2nd time I had no after birth pains at all and I was expecting it, I was lucky in that regard.

  12. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    It just goes to show how different everyone is. My spinal took 2 hrs to wear off past my breast and I was stuck in recovery alone till then.
    Oh wow, I think my spinal was below my boobs both times, I could sit up and had good use of my arms (aside from the drip in my left hand) as soon as I was out of recovery (aided by the bed obviously, but it was comfy to do so). Most people I know have had similar experiences with elective c-sections.

  13. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlissedOut View Post
    Oh wow, I think my spinal was below my boobs both times, I could sit up and had good use of my arms (aside from the drip in my left hand) as soon as I was out of recovery (aided by the bed obviously, but it was comfy to do so). Most people I know have had similar experiences with elective c-sections.
    It was emergency. I had an epi during labour, it took him 5 tries to get it in and over an hour and then it didn't work, so for the cs he gave me spinal and I guess he made sure it worked!!
    Then when I had an appointment before my vbac to discuss the complications I had (and for them to make a plan Incase of emergency and know what to give me) they said if I wanted an epi during labour it probably won't work again. I was prepped to go natural anyway but just the thought of another spinal or epi gave me the shivers. I could deal with an emergency again, but I couldn't elect it, I was just too scared and I wouldn't have shown up!

  14. #120
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    My first post wasn't meant to hijack the thread, and I actually do agree with unique(?) about her points. I find other posts attacking me and reading tone where there was none intended to be offensive.

    I can say the sky is blue at the moment and someone will argue with me. So I'm not bothering with this thread anymore. I don't sneer at vaginal births. I debated for weeks, agonised over my choice and cried with stress. My family was ready to shoot me. In the end I realised it didn't matter how I got my baby and I still feel the same way. No one is going to make me feel guilty for having a CS.

    I have better things to do than argue with smarmy people. I'm going to play with my baby.


 

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