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    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Default Getting back together, does it ever work?

    As above, do you think on-off relationships can ever work? Like even if you've already broken up, and get back together, can it work? What do you/did you have to change? Thoughts please.

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    Good question. Who knows? I sure don't.. my partner and I have broken up several times over 6 years.. I really don't know if it can work but we usually fix some more issues each time .

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    We weren't exactly on-off, but my DH and I separate ld after a very horrible 2 year relationship. We were separated for a year then decided to give it another try. BEST thing we have ever done. We are happier then ever, got married last November and are about to welcome our third daughter into the world. We have grown so much both as a couple and as individuals and we have realised what our priorities in life need to be. None of that could/would have happened if we hadn't of separated.

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    Yep, absolutely. One of my best friends just got married to the man she first got together with as a bit of a fling in uni, they got back together a few years later, together for 8 years, engaged, called off the wedding but stayed together to work through the issues, and just got married 18 months after the cancelled wedding and she counts her blessings that they've fought so hard to stay together before they even got married, as it meant they went into it with their eyes wide open, and had been right to the brink and decided not to jump, but to stay and fight for their relationship. I think if you're willing to fix what was wrong, the relationship can be much stronger the second time around.

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    I sure hope so DH and I have been together 13 years this year. We first broke up when he turned 18 for 6 weeks, he was unemployed at the time.
    Our 2nd time we broke up was when we were 25, DH decided he didn't want to get married or have kids loved me but thought we should break up. He was again for the 2nd time in his life unemployed. That breakup lasted 10 days. Within two months he had a new job, proposed and we started ttc. Looking back we have come to realise he gets a bit depressed when not working and feels like a faliure. 3 years later and now newlyweds things have never been better.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    We weren't exactly on-off, but my DH and I separate ld after a very horrible 2 year relationship. We were separated for a year then decided to give it another try. BEST thing we have ever done. We are happier then ever, got married last November and are about to welcome our third daughter into the world. We have grown so much both as a couple and as individuals and we have realised what our priorities in life need to be. None of that could/would have happened if we hadn't of separated.
    Agree fully the 2nd break up made our relationship so glad it happened!

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    missybubble's Avatar
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    Thanks for your replies guys. What if, you'd been with someone 7 years, broke up for a few months, got back together for a few months, and then broke up again, any way you could see that working? I guess some things would have to change, I know we'd take it very slowly third time around...cos I wouldn't want to break up again!

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    Quote Originally Posted by missybubble View Post
    Thanks for your replies guys. What if, you'd been with someone 7 years, broke up for a few months, got back together for a few months, and then broke up again, any way you could see that working? I guess some things would have to change, I know we'd take it very slowly third time around...cos I wouldn't want to break up again!
    For me it would depend on the reasons for the break ups, and if we were BOTH EQUALLY committed to genuinely finding a solution and working through the issues. If it was re-occurring issues that no matter the amount of councelling etc could help us over come then no I wouldn't. And I would take into consideration any children involved- it isn't fair on them to see the relationship like a yo-yo.

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    My DP and I have broken up more times than I can count. We've been together (on and off) for seven years.

    Two weeks ago I gave birth to our DD and things are great between us.

    Getting back together forces you to deal with the issues that caused you to break up in the first place. If you deal with those issues and work through them, of course the relationship can work.

    If you're unsure of the relationship, then counselling can work to help you sort through the issues and decide if they are deal breakers.

    Good luck!

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    Quote Originally Posted by lil miss View Post
    For me it would depend on the reasons for the break ups, and if we were BOTH EQUALLY committed to genuinely finding a solution and working through the issues. If it was re-occurring issues that no matter the amount of councelling etc could help us over come then no I wouldn't. And I would take into consideration any children involved- it isn't fair on them to see the relationship like a yo-yo.
    No kids involved which is good. He has a trust issue with me (the first time I left him I'd kissed another guy, I know, shame on me ), which is the main hurdle. I think it needs a lot of time and for us to communicate with each other.


 

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