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  1. #51
    Mod-Myztik's Avatar
    Mod-Myztik is offline ADMINISTRATOR
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    Oh gosh you poor things I'm so sorry you are both going through this.

    I can't believe the police have been sitting on this info for a year!! Wth? They should have acted immediately.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  3. #52
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    I stumbled on this thread and couldnt read and not post I am so sorry for what you and your daughter are going through hugs xx stay strong(I know you will)

    Sent from my GT-S5830T using BubHub

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  5. #53
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    I can't imagine how you must be feeling, and want to send hugs and strength your way.

    Sadly, the type of evidence required by the police/court is typically not developmentally possible for children to provide (eg. Dates and times). As a result, a majority of cases of child sexual abuse don't make it to court. It's a massive flaw in the system, and a difficult one to get around.

    I would speak to DOCS and also seek legal advice regarding preventing contact from him.

    I also wanted to say that you have handled an incredibly difficult situation really well. It sounds like you have done nothing but express your support and 100% belief in her disclosure, which is so important and helpful.

    Take care of yourself.

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    ComeBackKid  (12-06-2012),Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  7. #54
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    I want to send massive hugs and support to you & your daughter! You're both very brave! The police officer that dealt with you is so insensitive, how could she assume you already knew, what a terrible way to find out a horrible news What they said to you just make my blood boil. They can't let him get away with this, and most importantly they have to make sure he cannot come anywhere near you & your children.

    Please be careful about recording phone calls. To *MY UNDERSTANDING*, it's not illegal to record a phone call that you're a party of it, but it's illegal to use it/publish it (say, in a courtroom) without permission of the other party.
    http://www.privacy.gov.au/faq/individuals/q1
    http://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/LEGAL...s/Privacy.aspx

    I hope you'll get legal aid and counciling as soon as you can. There's somehow a positive side of finding out the truth now, that you can talk to your DD and get help, rather than she recognizes herself sometimes later in life that what her dad did to her is so wrong.

    Last edited by lovesushi; 12-06-2012 at 22:09.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012),MuminMind  (12-06-2012)

  9. #55
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    I can't imagine how you must be feeling, and want to send hugs and strength your way.

    Sadly, the type of evidence required by the police/court is typically not developmentally possible for children to provide (eg. Dates and times). As a result, a majority of cases of child sexual abuse don't make it to court. It's a massive flaw in the system, and a difficult one to get around.

    I would speak to DOCS and also seek legal advice regarding preventing contact from him.

    I also wanted to say that you have handled an incredibly difficult situation really well. It sounds like you have done nothing but express your support and 100% belief in her disclosure, which is so important and helpful.

    Take care of yourself.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  11. #56
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    I wish there was something, anything we could do.

    I'm so sorry this has happened to your little princess. You have done an amazing job with how you have reacted in front of her. Make sure you surround yourself with support people to pick you up each time you stumble.

    Thinking of you al xoxo

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

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    Today started much like any other day, I got up and rushed around to get kids ready for school and myself ready for work. The only thing that was different this morning was that my partner didn't have to start work as early so kindly offered to drop the kids at school so I wouldn't be late for work, I gave them all a kiss and left to start yet another day. Driving to work used to be my break from everything, I'd have my music as loud as I wanted and just de-stress on my way to or from work but now all it is just empty space where my thoughts run wildly through my head and I literally feel like I'm going insane. I found myself hoping I would have a car accident (bizarre I know) but not so I would be hurt, just so I would have an excuse not to go to work. If I didn't feel so obligated I would probably quit and spend my days curled up in bed, at least there I could let my emotions out instead of bottling it all up inside. But no, I have obligations and responsibilities so I drag myself into work, put on my "normal/everything's ok" mask. I try to keep busy but even when I completely focus on my work, the thoughts never go away. I leave work and quickly have to rush home to grab the kids sporting gear and head to school to pick them up, and go straight from school to various sporting commitments for the kids. While I am waiting for the kids to finish school I attempt to call the Child Protection worker that promised an intervention order would be organized to inform her that the police are not going to do it as they think there is no "just cause". How can there be no just cause? How can they leave us in danger? But of course she has the day off today so I'll have to try again tomorrow to see if she is going to help me at all... While my kids do their sports, I get to sit with other mums and yet again pretend that I'm ok and that everything's fine for what feels like the longest hour and a half. Finally, I'm home again where I still have to maintain normality for the kids sake but at least I don't have to pretend to be "happy", I feed the many animals and go about cleaning my home and making dinner. The kids sit happily and eat their dinner, I do not. I still cannot bring myself to eat much and when I force it I feel sick. That brings me to now, I hibernate in my room for 5 minutes to try and drink the coffee I made an hour ago and hope that by typing things out like this I might feel a little less burdened by my thoughts. I watch my daughter very closely the entire time I'm with her and she seems ok, she still plays and fights with her siblings and enjoys her sports like she always has and my mind starts racing again? Is she really ok? Or is she pretending just like I am? I hope she is ok and she knows that she can talk to me about anything, anytime (my only request was that we talk in private as her siblings are not aware of what's going on at the moment, but I'm sure that will change once Child Protection come for their "weekly visit" on Thursday) so she does know she can come to me anytime. When I asked her why she didn't tell me what had happened her response was she thought she would get into trouble and that breaks my heart, what did HE say to make her think that? I ask that question but I don't really think I want to know...

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    Couldn't not reply - so sorry to hear that this has happened. I hope that nasty, scummy mongrel gets punished. Can't believe they expect a child to remember exact dates... he gets charged & they lock him up & throw away the key.
    Big hugs to you & your little girl - you sound like a great mum & her rock.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

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    Im sorry your daughter has to go through this!

    From things in my past (like this situation), i know how greatful she will be of your love and support when she is older.

    She may not get legal justice and the pain of it all may not completely disappear, but her life can/will be full of better days just because she has you as her mother! That is the most important thing she needs!

    I hope the police and docs get their act together and protect your childrens rights and safety.

    I hope that this all gets easier for her and you and that life can soon return to some kind of normalness.

    Just remember you are doing a great job in this devastating time and all she needs to help get through is your love and support!

    Hugs

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

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    I just wanted to add one more thing. If you're not getting anywhere then go to your local courthouse and speak to the registrar or equivalent there. If police/child protection can't apply for Apprehended domestic violence order then hopefully you can apply for a personal violence order on your daughters behalf.

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