Ladies, even though you've all started me bawling again, I thank you. Thank you for your kind words and hugs. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel but they said its much like the stages a person goes through after a death. I'm so angry that it's physically hurting and so upset that it feels like my heart is being torn in half. I now have weekly visits in my home from child protection until further notice and that makes me feel persecuted but I remind myself that they are only doing their jobs. Apparently counseling is mandatory for myself and my kids and hopefully it will help once it is organised. I just don't know what to do, I have tried to continue life as it's always been work, school, kids after school activities and so far I must be doing ok because no one has noticed that I'm far from ok. This mask that I have to wear for the public and my kids is taking it's toll. I broke down last night and didn't think I'd get back up but my partner keeps me focused, he is my rock. Without him I don't think I'd be coping as well as I appear to be. Thanks again ladies for listening.