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  1. #11
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    Ladies, even though you've all started me bawling again, I thank you. Thank you for your kind words and hugs. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel but they said its much like the stages a person goes through after a death. I'm so angry that it's physically hurting and so upset that it feels like my heart is being torn in half. I now have weekly visits in my home from child protection until further notice and that makes me feel persecuted but I remind myself that they are only doing their jobs. Apparently counseling is mandatory for myself and my kids and hopefully it will help once it is organised. I just don't know what to do, I have tried to continue life as it's always been work, school, kids after school activities and so far I must be doing ok because no one has noticed that I'm far from ok. This mask that I have to wear for the public and my kids is taking it's toll. I broke down last night and didn't think I'd get back up but my partner keeps me focused, he is my rock. Without him I don't think I'd be coping as well as I appear to be. Thanks again ladies for listening.

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    MuminMind  (12-06-2012)

  3. #12
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    I'm so sorry to hear what your precious daughter's been through. Fight the system all the way to justice... And as someone suggested, seek counselling to help you et thought this... I can't imagine being in your shoes *hugs*

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  5. #13
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    How's your lil girl going after this has just come out? Poor thing... So sad

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  7. #14
    Becks23's Avatar
    Becks23 is offline thank you for a house full of people I love. Amen
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    Just want to send hugs to you and your daughter.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  9. #15
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    How absolutely devastating for all of you. I cannot imagine the anger you must be feeling at the father, or the system that should be doing everything they can to keep your little girl safe. I hope you can find someone who can help you be strong for your daughter and help you find every way possible to keep her safe from now on.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  11. #16
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    Mokeybear, from what I was told my daughter told a friend what her father had done, her friend then told her mother and her mother went directly to the police. Much of what I have been told doesn't make sense because I was also told that this allegation was first made over a year ago! If so, why am I only just finding out about it now?! It's like trying to piece together a jigsaw puzzle but half the pieces are missing... I am doing as much as I can and as best as I can but I will NEVER give up or stop fighting! I am also a survivor of abuse and it was never dealt with or handled correctly, I won't let my little girl down the way my family let me down.

  12. #17
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    My girl is doing ok. It's complicated as you can probably understand but being the age she is she honestly didn't know what he did was wrong, I have tried to explain without scaring her that it was wrong and that when she is older she may understand it better. We haven't even had "the" talk yet because I didn't think she was ready. From the outside looking in she seems like a normal happy healthy little girl and I hope she stays that way. Even knowing that what he had done was wrong she still "didn't want him to get into trouble" her words. It just blows me away that she feels that way but I never tell her she's wrong or that the way she feels is wrong I just don't know what to say... I know what I'd like to say but that wouldn't help anyone so I keep it to myself. Hopefully the councillor will know what to do better than I do but for now I'm just lost...

  13. #18
    MuminMind's Avatar
    MuminMind is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Helpful Member, Member I'd Most Like To Meet, Most Community Minded Thread, Best Potential Moderator and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Devastated, I find it hard to find the right words, because I don't think they exist in a situation like this. Your post is absolutely heartbreaking, and I can not even start to imagine what you are going through at the moment. But I am so glad that you decided to reach out through BH, hopefully members who have been in a similar situation can offer you some valuable advice and support. We will all support you as best as we can.

    You sounds like a wonderful mother, and one that is prepared to fight for her girl. Please just make sure that you look after yourself in the process.

    Lots of strength, lovely.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012),Ms Fawn  (10-07-2012)

  15. #19
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    Big hugs I'm not sure what to say..
    I really can't believe the police are not charging the b*stard..
    Makes me sick, you put your kids through all the questioning interviews as the police make you feel that they are taking it seriously.. Then drop it due to incorrect times.. Kids don't remember these things.
    My dd13 was physically abused by her father thus year and wanted him charged. We went through all the process and nothing came out of it.. She was devastated saying "so you can hurt your kids and get away with it?, if it was a stranger he would be charged?" I felt really bad for her. Nothing like your going through but I understand the injustice.
    Keep doing your best.
    Let's hope she moves through her life without it interfering with her hopes and dreams.
    Best wishes x
    Last edited by bellieellie; 12-06-2012 at 00:55.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)

  17. #20
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    Kids are so loyal, they are loyal to the most heinous of parents, it must break your heart that she doesnt want to get him into trouble.
    Expressing yourself here with privacy probably feels so much better, I would encourage you to just offload, it must be driving you insane with trying to carry on as normal, honestly I take my hat off to you.
    I agree with a couple of the other ladies, you have believed in and supported your daughter when she has needed you the most, that will always be with her.
    God Im so enraged at the thought of him, seriously good on you for controlling yourself. I hope you never have to lay eyes on him again.

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    Devastated  (12-06-2012)


 

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