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  1. #21
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    Probably extreme mental health issues.

    Once recovered I would do what it takes.

    However I realize no everyone has the same resilience .

  2. #22
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    ... double post
    Last edited by Theophania; 11-06-2012 at 19:38.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by AppleIsleSMum View Post
    Death...
    This or severe disability where I was on life support or not 'here' anymore... in body but not in mind.

    DS is an absolute handful. My kids are my life. I think I would honestly die without them

  4. #24
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    My mums situation... She knew she couldn't provide the life I deserved so gave me up to my grandparents (mutual decision) when I was born. She was young (17) and knew she was not in the right headspace to raise a child. She was originally going to give me up for adoption but at the last minute changed her mind- there was no way she could bring a life into this world and not be heavily involved in its life.

    I came close to giving my oldest daughter (this was before the others were born) to her father. I was suffering severe PND and could barely look after myself and figured she would have a better life with him (I would have still seen her regularly, just not be the one responsible for her day to day upbringing). I needed to fix myself before I could be a mother. Thankfully it didn't come to that and my daughter stayed with me.

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  6. #25
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    ToughLove is offline Meaner than a junkyard dog
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    If I was diagnosed with a mental illness that made care risky to her emotional wellbeing and personal development, or a physical illness that meant she would not be cared for at full capacity with me.

    Or death.

    That's pretty much it.

  7. #26
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    Death or serious disability. My sister would have them even though we have very different parenting styles.

  8. #27
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    Don't quote me, I'll probably come back and delete this as it's very personal....


    Late last year I was very, very sick. I was screened for MS before they decided it was chronic fatigue syndrome. I was too unwell to look after myself properly, let alone the kids. I am sure you can imagine how much this fact upset me as a mother.

    My husband couldnt' stop working to look after us, due to our mortgage, and we didn't have sickness and accident insurance.

    LUCKILY, my wonderful parents stepped in and I moved in with them for a few months with the girls so that they could cook, clean and watch the children while I rested.

    Even more luckily, DH's wonderful uncle offered to pay for a nanny so that the girls and I could go back home and be with DH and all remain together.

    I have been recovering gradually over the last 7 months and I am now down to one day/week with the nanny.

    I will be eternally grateful to my wonderful family for their help, because in all honesty I don't know what we would have done without them. DH could have quit his job of course. But without him either, I would have been s.c.r.e.w.e.d. And it would have broken my heart every single day.

    I'm getting all emotional now just writting this down.

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  10. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    If i had a severe mental illness, and it was harming them. I would leave them with their daddy and leave and go get help in hospital. Work as hard as i could on recovering and get back to them asap.

    Other than that, i cant think of anything. Being an addict does not apply to me, i would never be in that position ever. (i dont say that with judgment)
    ^^^ this

  11. #29
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    Severe mental illness which had me not being able to properly function, or which had me at risk of harming my children (or myself). I would count being a drug or alcohol addict as having a severe mental illness if it rendered me a useless parent. Strangely, some alcholics are highly functioning and can still be good parents.

    Or, I suppose, if I had a severe disability... but I'd hope that my family would pull through for me there, and would simply live with me so I could still be there for my child, even if I couldn't be relied upon to care for them (like DP would take over that role, or my mother, or something).

    I would easily give up my daughter for a couple of nights for some time out... but that's nothing like giving her up long-term.

  12. #30
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I would consider giving up my chidlren if I knew in my heart it was in their best interest. In saying that there aren't very many scenarios I can think of that would constitute me not being in their lives the best for them.

    I struggled growing up with feelings of mistrust and abandonment because my father left us when I was 11 years old. He told us he was going camping for the weekend and left to go overseas never to be seen again. This crushed me and has left me with ongoing issues into adulthood. He wasn't a nice person though so we were better off without him in our lives, but as a child this didn't make it any easier for me. I still felt like I wasn't good enough to love. I had low self esteem.

    Since becoming a parent I won't lie, there are days I miss being child free. Sometimes the responsibility of raising these two precious babies scares me. Sometimes I just want to be me, not mummy. But for the most part these chidlren have been the greatest gift. They have taught me how to really love. They have taught me how to love myself. I have had a whole lot of issues since having chidlrent, depression, severe anxiety, alcohol addiction. But I chose to change my life. I chose to be the parent I think my kids deserve, not to abandon them the way my father did. I have started studying a university degree, I got sober and I am a mother my children can be proud of. They deserve that!

    At the end of the day I was grown up enough to decide to have them, I had to be grown up enough to make the best decision for them and change my life They deserve that.
    Last edited by Theophania; 11-06-2012 at 19:39.

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