Children can recover from periods of seperation IF the parent is showing obvious steps in reconciling the family unit.
As I said before, I'm well aware of the impact abandonment, absence and emotional neglect has on a child. I work with young adults who are from such backgrounds.
There are members on here who have had periods where their child was not living with them. I'm trying to be respectful of their feelings.
I don't think I could answer that honestly until I was put in a situation that would make me have to think of it. A lot of people from the posts I have read are saying only death but I don't think thats right. There are many awful things that can happen to people, brain damage for one. I also read not so long ago of a young mother suffering alzheimers who luckily had her husband but if she was on her own then how could she possibly look after her kids? So before everyone gets on their high horse and says nothing would make give up my children think about all the poor people who are in this situation with legitimate reasons that don't have a choice.
Just to clarify further. If you cannot cope with the child and make no effort to change this, then you shouldn't have another, ever. If you have taken steps to become better then by all means, have as many kids as you please. I have suffered PND and PTSD so I'm not ignorant to the ups and downs of parenting, my life hasn't been peachy, not even close.
I just asked DF if he can take bub because I don't want to be kicked in the ribs any more I want to sleep and would like normal bladder control again!! Lol I know this isn't what the thread means but I'm sure I'm not the only one who would like to make there partner carry the baby for a while when pregnant lol
But seriously if I was not capable of giving them a stable good life they deserve or I was endangering them in some way then yeah I would, but I'd sure as hell work my *** off to make things right to bring them home again
I would say death only
Every person and every scenario is different. No one knows how they will act in every situation so it's not black and white (as a few BH's have already said on here).
My parents separated when I was 8 and my mother has primary custody. We saw my dad every other weekend. My dad was not an alcoholic, was not addicted to drugs and was certainly not abusive.
When I was 9 my mother moved us interstate. I didn't see my father for a year. THIS more than anything has affected me more than being 'abandoned' as I was torn away from one parent by another.
My dad ended up moving over a year later.
My parents got divorced when I was ten. My sister and I have never been given reasons as to why this is and neither has my father.
The 'courts' granted my mother primary care and i can say that that wasn't the best option for us.
My father fell into an extremely deep depression and was on all the drugs under the sun (for the depression not illicit) but he NEVER stopped fighting for us. He managed to wean himself off the drugs, get a respectable full time job and make himself a better person but he NEVER gave us up.
This, to me, shows that it is possible to stay with your children no matter what life throws your way.
Again, sorry for the somewhat off topic rant
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