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  1. #11
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    Mess is good, especially for children. If I changed my 5yo's clothes every time he got a little wet, dirty, etc then he'd never have time to play & have fun. Sure, if we're home I don't let him stay in wet/dirty clothes, but if we're out for a walk and he jumps in a puddle and gets a bit wet or dirty I don't strip him off in the street and make sure he's presentable before we go into the shops for morning tea. Equally I pick him up from Kinder and he might have paint on his clothes (usually not though) and often has sand/dirt/water on his pants (and/or top) and I don't insist on changing him before we do things on the way home. Where would I change him anyway? In the tiny toilet at Kinder? In the car boot? He's 120cm tall and in size 6 clothes, it's not easy to change him and why bother? He's a child and he's allowed to play and enjoy life including the messier side of life!

    My dd (8 months old) is a different matter and as she's only little and easy to change and more likely to get covered in food mess, I will change her in public. I take her out in clean clothes (99% of the time) and if she gets very messy I will change her if I know we're going to be out for a while. But if we've just had morning tea at a coffee shop & we're going to grab a couple of things from the supermarket before heading home I wouldn't bother.

    So, I think judging a parent for having a child with dirty clothes on a single occasion in public is very judgemental. There are heaps of good excuses and to even suggest that considering it as child abuse is way over the top IMHO.

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  3. #12
    Buttoneska's Avatar
    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    I would assume you could tell the difference bw a kid who is dirty/always in dirty clothes and a clean kid who had got their clothes dirty.

    The first I think is unacceptable and would judge parents on. The latter would not bother me.
    Last edited by Buttoneska; 11-06-2012 at 06:53.

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  5. #13
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    Changed my mind lol
    Last edited by Bonkers; 11-06-2012 at 07:48.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    I would assume you could tell the difference bw a kid who is dirty/always in dirty clothes and a clean kid who had got their clothes dirty.

    The first I think is unacceptable and would judge parents on. The latter would not bother me.
    I do agree with this!!!! The former I see quite a lot of unfortunately and to me it's unacceptable. If I was seeing the same children dressed in dirty clothes often the same dirty clothes all the time I would be judgmental and wonder what their homelife was like. To be as a parent it's just laziness to not wash your clothes properly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    I would assume you could tell the difference bw a kid who is dirty/always in dirty clothes and a clean kid who had got their clothes dirty.

    The first I think is unacceptable and would judge parents on. The latter would not bother me.
    This. If the kid's clothes look clean, but have muddy splashes on them (for example) then I wouldn't think anything of it. If the clothes generally looked grimy then I would notice.

    I dress DD in clean clothes every day, and cant think of an occasion where she would have ever looked really dirty. I clean food spills off her clothes immediately, but she's pretty clean - not a big spiller. I always had bibs when she was younger.

    I do notice if kids have dirty mouths / faces or snotty noses. I don't understand why the parents wouldn't have wiped it clean. I would try not to act differently, but being honest it would gross me out a bit.

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  9. #16
    Bonkers is offline wishes she was a glow worm. A glow worm's never glum, 'cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out of your bum?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    This. If the kid's clothes look clean, but have muddy splashes on them (for example) then I wouldn't think anything of it. If the clothes generally looked grimy then I would notice.

    I dress DD in clean clothes every day, and cant think of an occasion where she would have ever looked really dirty. I clean food spills off her clothes immediately, but she's pretty clean - not a big spiller. I always had bibs when she was younger.

    I do notice if kids have dirty mouths / faces or snotty noses. I don't understand why the parents wouldn't have wiped it clean. I would try not to act differently, but being honest it would gross me out a bit.

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    Actually I agree with this. You can tell if a kid has been in the same clothes for a while, they sit dif and look oily.

    My kids get dressed in clean clothes everyday as well, but only look a bit ick if they have been messy with some food.

    If their clothes don't look right when iv washed them I'll wash them again.

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    May I ask why are u asking??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    I would assume you could tell the difference bw a kid who is dirty/always in dirty clothes and a clean kid who had got their clothes dirty.

    The first I think is unacceptable and would judge parents on. The latter would not bother me.
    This I agree with as well. Just as I judged the mother whose 2.5yo walked over to me after talking with her mum whose face was covered in dried snot with green snot running into her mouth. If I dont have wipes or a tissue I use the inside of my shirt.

    There is mess that happens and there is leaving your child to be constantly dirty/in dirty clothes all the time.

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    I think there is a huge difference between kids dirty from having fun and enjoying life and kids dirty from neglect and I don't believe I could judge from walking past them which was which... however if the parent was in filthy clothes then thats another story. I do like my kids to be well presented and clean when we leave the house but after that you never know what will happen.

  13. #20
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    I used to look after 2 boys. The eldest boy always looked immaculate, he was just born neat and tidy. Even his hair was in perfect ringlets. The younger- the minute your back was turned he would be covered in filth, his clothes were askew, his hair had sprung back into looking like he'd been through a tornado, his face would be covered in goodness knows what. It didn't matter how many times you changed him or cleaned his face, in 5 minutes he would look like an orphan from les mis. I dont judge messy dirty kids or their parents.

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