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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    I used to wok with a girl who was English ... She had gone to a party on the weekend and had been told to bring a plate so her and her dh went with two empty plates ... We laughed till we had tears when she was telling us the story ... She thought it we to save washing up and couldn't figure out why they didn't just buy plastic plates!
    I rest my case! Haha

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    At a guess...i would suggest that those who would find it terribly rude have come from middle to upper class families and those that find it normal come from lower to middle class families. Those who have house shared and scrimped and saved through uni or had groups of friends in share houses with many on unemplyment benefits/pensions/austudy/low incomes.
    I see your point, but I don't think this is always the case. We've had dinner parties that have cost hundred's of dollars and have put on all the food and really nice wine. We've also whipped up risotto, garlic bread and a couple bottle of cheap wine which probably cost $50 for party of 10 people. I guess it's just how you look at it. I enjoy having people over to my home, i'll feed them on whatever my budget is at the time, before i could ask for a dollar contribution.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by bumMum View Post
    I think the exact opposite. I think its pretty rude to ask other people to cater for your child's party. She is only 3.

    Sent from my HTC Desire S using BubHub
    She's asking for that instead of bringing gifts, I don't find that rude at all.

    We often host dinners at our house, and we always provide as we like to treat our guests. We have no problem with this but I think it is common courtesy to offer to bring something even if we would politely decline.
    We were both brought up this way.

  4. #54
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    The best parties I have been to are when everyone brings a dish, you get to have food from a variety of cultures/backgrounds and it means the host isn't stressed out trying to get everything ready. I haven't asked for a contribution before when I have cooked but if it is a spur of the moment thing and we get takeaway everyone puts in. I wouldn't mind making a contribution but would probably prefer it to be food.
    Last edited by Hootenanny; 10-06-2012 at 23:13. Reason: dumb *** typos

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by louellyn View Post
    I would never ask people to bring anything other than spirits (and often not even that we generally provide everything) to a get together.

    I would think it extremely rude and ill mannered to ask someone to pay towards a dinner invitation. It is different if you are having a casual get together, eg to play poker or watch the footy and you all decide to put in to get pizza or other take away.
    Same here

  6. #56
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    If I have a party/BBQ/dinner, I wouldn't ever ask somebody to pay for their meal. I think it's a big no no. If somebody asked me to pay for a home cooked meal, I'd keep my money and go to a restaurant instead.
    Last edited by SugarSkull; 10-06-2012 at 23:26.

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    halloweendee  (11-06-2012)

  8. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    I see your point, but I don't think this is always the case. We've had dinner parties that have cost hundred's of dollars and have put on all the food and really nice wine. We've also whipped up risotto, garlic bread and a couple bottle of cheap wine which probably cost $50 for party of 10 people. I guess it's just how you look at it. I enjoy having people over to my home, i'll feed them on whatever my budget is at the time, before i could ask for a dollar contribution.

    some people don't have a spare $50...but still enjoy hosting/attending dinner parties.

    Like I said...often, the idea is floated by someone who is not hosting it. I used to have friends who lived at home and I lived out of home...they would suggest it because i had a venue and i was a good cook...it was more a communal dinner...everyone chipping in...

    Even now, I could not dream of affording to host a party of 500 people!! We often have 10 ish people over and I would not ask them to contribute unless the party idea started when we were all sitting around over coffee and someone else suggested.

    It depends who you are friends with and the general financial state of those around you. Some prefer "bring a plate" and some prefer to chip in and have someone else do all the food work.

    Swings and round abouts.

    AS someone else said...they used to have others over and put everything on and expected the other family to return the favour...when that didn't happen...they stopped inviting them. Sometimes...people cannot return the favour (no money, no skill, house too small etc etc etc) and if everyone chips in...it stops friendships breaking down over something that can be easily avoided.

  9. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    i think this is a socioeconomic issue and that is why people are not getting it.

    For some people, it starts as more of a social thing...uni students or unemployed...one or two of the group living out of home etc...and it starts as a convo like this

    Person A: we should have a party

    Person B: yeah, where at?

    Person A: hey X lives out of home

    X: sure, but I can't afford a party

    Person B: but, we could all chip in....go shopping together

    Person B: cool...who should we invite


    then...we all chip in $10-$20 go to the supermarket and buy ingredients or someone is nominated to...usually the best cook lol

    any money left over...is spent on grog/desserts etc

    it's not about profit making or being rude.

    Cause...for some people...they could not even dream of having $300 spare to do a meal...but (insert shocked face here) they still like to have dinner parties and their friends still like to go (even though they also could never afford to off the same in return).

    At a guess...i would suggest that those who would find it terribly rude have come from middle to upper class families and those that find it normal come from lower to middle class families. Those who have house shared and scrimped and saved through uni or had groups of friends in share houses with many on unemplyment benefits/pensions/austudy/low incomes.

    Those people that do it and ask for cash at the end...weird...those that try and profit...rude..but as a way for people who are not well off to come together and have a meal...it seems normal for me (when i was younger anyway lol). It is often easier than everyone brings a plate (cause that can be a bit hit and miss) and means you can have a theme etc.

    It doesn't start as one person asking for money....it normally starts as a group of friends nominating someone to host...it's communal and nice and not rude!
    This seems reasonable ... A group of people decide to have a party then work out the semantics of it ... Very different to inviting people to your house for a meal/party and then expect them to pay

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  11. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by louellyn View Post
    I would never ask people to bring anything other than spirits (and often not even that we generally provide everything) to a get together.

    I would think it extremely rude and ill mannered to ask someone to pay towards a dinner invitation. It is different if you are having a casual get together, eg to play poker or watch the footy and you all decide to put in to get pizza or other take away.
    ^^ I agree. I'd DIE before asking or even taking $$ for someone coming to my house to eat.

    AND if they asked me I'd be stunned and think they were joking.

  12. #60
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    There seems to be that lack of communication in this thread - again.

    The question is: Is a contribution at a dinner party a normal request?

    I think we've all established if it's a communal get together, a family pre-arranged event etc that a pre-organised cost arrangement is perfectly ok.

    BUT would you invite somebody to dinner, then expect payment in lieu of food and services rendered.

    This isn't aimed at the budget-conscious who can't afford it because to put it bluntly, a cash strapped person/people probably wouldn't invite folks over for dinner unless it refers to the pre-organised cash contribution or family event as stated above.

    Just thought I'd point that out


 

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