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  1. #31
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    I would feel weird asking ppl to give me money... If I couldn't afford to have a party then I just wouldn't have one. I would however just ask ppl to BYO drinks

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  3. #32
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    That was my ex SIL I mentioned in the other thread! She "charged" us for dinner ( which was usually nothing flash with cheap Italian wine!)
    I found it bizarre as I had never seen it done! ( she actually charges her single mother for Xmas lunch every year)
    Hence to say I hardly ever ate there or would suggest going out , which of course she was the one at the restaurant with the calculator out working out who had what ( that's a whole other thread!)

    My parents were big entertainers when we were young and never allowed any one to bring anything so I am the same and luckily so are our friends, it all works out in the end!

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  5. #33
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    Also in my friends asking for money story they would have MADE money from asking for the 15 bux fee.. So that i find rude if it was more like the amount they spent split between the 60 odd guests then i would still be taken back but maybe 3 or 4 bux would be ok to ask for.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Merlsification View Post
    If you invite someone to dinner, it's rude to ask for contribution! At the same time, if you're invited to dinner I believe it's rude not to offer to at least bring a plate or dessert.

    If its pre-organised for participants to contribute, that's different.
    This exactly.

    However, since May 1 we have had both our cars stolen and our house broken into. We had our wallets, car keys, and my husbands iPod all stolen from the kitchen bench while we slept. It's cost us a lot of money, about $8,000 to be precise, we're a one income family with two small children and my husband is one of the lowest paid corps in the army. DD turns 3 next month. We can't afford a huge party, so we're having a morning tea in the park and I've asked that people bring a plate instead of a gift.

    DD is going to love having all her little friends in one place and she deserves to have a wonderful day. And I would have been able to throw a huge bash if it weren't for the low life scum that stole from us.

    So I think in circumstances such as that its okay to ask for guests to bring a plate, financial contribution? No. That's going too far. And just a regular party just because you feel like it? No. I wouldn't ask friends to bring a plate for my birthday, if I can't afford a party by then I won't have one, simple. Kids parties, different story, they don't need to be privvy to my financial issues and she deserves a fun birthday.

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  8. #35
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    I've only heard of it being done for Christmas dinners instead of going out to a restaurant - so I think that is fine.

    We used to have my family (parents brother sister & their families) around a lot during summer we would provide everything. I always operated on the theory that I don't expect them to bring anything because I won't take anything to their houses when we go for dinner and then I realised that we were never ever invited to their houses so I stopped them! We don't do them anymore!

  9. #36
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    I know when the family is up when they cook a roast they ask for $20 per family - when i mean roast its a whole scotchfillet or rump or something its never small. That includes dinner dessert and generally brekkie the next day..lol.. oh and grog..

    I dont have a problem asking or donating to a party if they ask.....

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    That was my ex SIL I mentioned in the other thread! She "charged" us for dinner ( which was usually nothing flash with cheap Italian wine!)
    I found it bizarre as I had never seen it done! ( she actually charges her single mother for Xmas lunch every year)
    Hence to say I hardly ever ate there or would suggest going out , which of course she was the one at the restaurant with the calculator out working out who had what ( that's a whole other thread!)

    My parents were big entertainers when we were young and never allowed any one to bring anything so I am the same and luckily so are our friends, it all works out in the end!
    This reminds me ... (.before kids) dh and I used to regularly go out for dinner with dh sister and her hubby - we would always split the bill 50:50 - but they would always have at least 2-3 alcoholic drinks each, would usually both have steal and dessert - while I only drink water, hubby would have a couple of beers and I like light salad meals hubby loves chicken parmigiana so it would cost us an absolute fortune. One time I was so upset after we left hubby was sick so no alcohol I was pregnant so water - our bill should have been around $40 it cost us $80

  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by elleandsam View Post
    This exactly.

    However, since May 1 we have had both our cars stolen and our house broken into. We had our wallets, car keys, and my husbands iPod all stolen from the kitchen bench while we slept. It's cost us a lot of money, about $8,000 to be precise, we're a one income family with two small children and my husband is one of the lowest paid corps in the army. DD turns 3 next month. We can't afford a huge party, so we're having a morning tea in the park and I've asked that people bring a plate instead of a gift.

    DD is going to love having all her little friends in one place and she deserves to have a wonderful day. And I would have been able to throw a huge bash if it weren't for the low life scum that stole from us.

    So I think in circumstances such as that its okay to ask for guests to bring a plate, financial contribution? No. That's going too far. And just a regular party just because you feel like it? No. I wouldn't ask friends to bring a plate for my birthday, if I can't afford a party by then I won't have one, simple. Kids parties, different story, they don't need to be privvy to my financial issues and she deserves a fun birthday.
    I think the exact opposite. I think its pretty rude to ask other people to cater for your child's party. She is only 3.

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  13. #39
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    My answer - hell yeah! If You are invited for dinner it's out on. I would also have assumed in a group situation that the dinner parties are moved around so eventually it all comes out in the wash.

    I would never dream of asking for a financial contribution to cooking feats dinner - if it wasn't affordable don't invite.

  14. #40
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    I've never heard of this before. Our family and friends all do the following:

    Dinner party - host supplies everything, including drinks. Guests often bring wine or flowers, but not always.

    Party - host supplies all food, beer, and wine. Guests offer to bring plate, but usually declined. Guests often bring extra or specialist drinks.

    BBQ - same as party, except more common for guests to bring plate.

    Christmas - same as dinner party.

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