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  1. #91
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Cleigh View Post
    My DP's friend a while ago was hosting a late lunch sort of thing. He said he had just paid like 700 or something crazy for foods and drinks and if you wanted to come you have to pay 25 dollars. My DP didnt go. So sucks to be him if no one turned up
    OMG exactly!!!
    Who the frick does this?!?

  2. #92
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    in a wormhole
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Different social groups have different social rules. I think this is one of those areas.

    When I was a student we did things like pitch in for petrol money if someone was driving everyone else around. If we were going to do dinner we'd decide who's place it would be at and then all go shopping and chip in, except for big events like birthday parties where you'd get an actual invite in the mail. If it was a formal invitation event then it was done traditionally - one person (or family) host and pay.

    Now that we're all in our 30s and have a regular income the rules are different. We don't pitch in for petrol money anymore, and parties are offer to bring a plate/drinks only.

    Its strange because the 'rules' have always been unspoken. And I don't know exactly when things changed. Probably when we finished uni and started earning better money.

    Anyway, the point of all that waffle is that I think its something that each group determines for themselves based on their circumstances.

    I do think its exceedingly rude to charge people money after the fact. And to invite people and charge them if it hasn't been agreed upon before hand. (ie if its not something your group does, and you haven't brought it up and discussed it first to see if your friends are okay with it, then I do think its very odd).
    Last edited by MissMuppet; 11-06-2012 at 13:36.

  3. #93
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    If it's normal for you then that's fine. It's never happened to me but we have get togethers a fair bit and people bring whatever they are drinking as well as a plate of something to share. In saying that, we pretty much know what each person will bring. One will bring rice crackers, different cheeses, anti-pasto platter. Another makes assorted sandwiches. Another makes mini quiches. One always brings salad. But then for actual dinner, the person inviting provides everything and other people might take drinks, dessert, after dinner mints or small things.

  4. #94
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    I think it's fine if you all say "Oh, let's have a get-together," and then choose to have it at someone's place.

    If someone chooses to have a dinner party though, it's bad manners and quite cheeky to expect them to pay though!

  5. #95
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    I think if you inviting people over the rules need to be explained first ie bring a plate, byo meat or alcohol or we are getting takeaway etc.

    I am fine with that.

    If however I was invited to a dinner party ,I always ask what I can bring. If I'm told nothing I assume the host will pay for everything. I would not be impressed if the end of the meal, the host presents me with a bill.

    I wouldn't pay

  6. #96
    dreadlockfairy's Avatar
    dreadlockfairy is offline The best things in life.....aren't things!
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Ha ha my friend actually made a profit off her friends at her dinner party!!!!!

    She organised a Mexican night dinner party and asked people to bring a dish. Two hours before the dinner started I get a group txt message from the host saying she had changed her mind and every guest was to pay $25 each instead. I had already prepared a dish obviously so that was weird to be told not to bring it.

    Sooo when I got there, there was about 12 other guests. The host had cooked up some mince meat in a pot and bought some aldi tacos. That was it. Would have costed her no more than $20. So that was a nice $280 profit for her. Then she went around and offered people margaritas - and if a guest accepted one she asked them for $15

    Very poor form........lol and very bizarre.

  7. #97
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    It amazes me that so many people have such an issue with chipping in for a dinner gathering. I think perhaps its a perception thing and I think it depends on the situation. I understand that someone who has initiated a dinner party and invites someone out of the blue shouldn't expect others to pay but like I said earlier when we have a family gathering (such as Christmas) where everyone knows we need to get together and its just a matter of deciding on whos house then I think it is ok to get everyone to chip in. I would never expect one of my family members to put themselves out $300 to feed the rest of us, I would feel terrible about that... I also don't see the difference between bringing a plate and paying cash... its much of a muchness. When I have friends over and I have invited them I would never even ask for them to bring a plate. I find with my family its different though.
    Geez I think its pretty obvious. If this is your tradition .. your family and friends are clearly just cold and unfamily like.. and there's just no love between you!! And you probably want to make money out of gatherings since you are all so rude.. tisk tisk.. if you and your cheap *** friends and family can't afford all the catering than you should all just forget about birthdays and Christmas from now on.. go to nandos instead and eat on your own.. in separate booths.. just to ensure there is no confusion over the bill!!

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