Different social groups have different social rules. I think this is one of those areas.
When I was a student we did things like pitch in for petrol money if someone was driving everyone else around. If we were going to do dinner we'd decide who's place it would be at and then all go shopping and chip in, except for big events like birthday parties where you'd get an actual invite in the mail. If it was a formal invitation event then it was done traditionally - one person (or family) host and pay.
Now that we're all in our 30s and have a regular income the rules are different. We don't pitch in for petrol money anymore, and parties are offer to bring a plate/drinks only.
Its strange because the 'rules' have always been unspoken. And I don't know exactly when things changed. Probably when we finished uni and started earning better money.
Anyway, the point of all that waffle is that I think its something that each group determines for themselves based on their circumstances.
I do think its exceedingly rude to charge people money after the fact. And to invite people and charge them if it hasn't been agreed upon before hand. (ie if its not something your group does, and you haven't brought it up and discussed it first to see if your friends are okay with it, then I do think its very odd).
Last edited by MissMuppet; 11-06-2012 at 12:36.
If it's normal for you then that's fine. It's never happened to me but we have get togethers a fair bit and people bring whatever they are drinking as well as a plate of something to share. In saying that, we pretty much know what each person will bring. One will bring rice crackers, different cheeses, anti-pasto platter. Another makes assorted sandwiches. Another makes mini quiches. One always brings salad. But then for actual dinner, the person inviting provides everything and other people might take drinks, dessert, after dinner mints or small things.
I think it's fine if you all say "Oh, let's have a get-together," and then choose to have it at someone's place.
If someone chooses to have a dinner party though, it's bad manners and quite cheeky to expect them to pay though!
I think if you inviting people over the rules need to be explained first ie bring a plate, byo meat or alcohol or we are getting takeaway etc.
I am fine with that.
If however I was invited to a dinner party ,I always ask what I can bring. If I'm told nothing I assume the host will pay for everything. I would not be impressed if the end of the meal, the host presents me with a bill.
I wouldn't pay
Ha ha my friend actually made a profit off her friends at her dinner party!!!!!
She organised a Mexican night dinner party and asked people to bring a dish. Two hours before the dinner started I get a group txt message from the host saying she had changed her mind and every guest was to pay $25 each instead. I had already prepared a dish obviously so that was weird to be told not to bring it.
Sooo when I got there, there was about 12 other guests. The host had cooked up some mince meat in a pot and bought some aldi tacos. That was it. Would have costed her no more than $20. So that was a nice $280 profit for her. Then she went around and offered people margaritas - and if a guest accepted one she asked them for $15
Very poor form........lol and very bizarre.
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share a book (11-06-2012)
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