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  1. #1
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    Default SPIN OFF - is asking for contribution at dinner party.

    Ok, so in the other thread a lot of people are claiming it's rude or weird to ask people to chip in a few dollars when coming for dinner, for me and my group of mates, this is standard.

    Most people bring a plate when going to someone's house for a BBQ or dinner so why is it any different saying, 'no I will provide everything if you don't mind chucking in a few dollars'. To us it saves the hassle of people bringing the same thing, working out who brings what and as most of my mates are male and I love cooking it works ideal.

    So what are you're thoughts? Is it really that strange?

  2. #2
    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    I've never heard of anyone asking for money at parties etc till I read it on here today. The thought had never crossed my mind and I'd be quite surprised if someone asked me.

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  4. #3
    bunkx's Avatar
    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    I don't think it's weird, I do how ever think it depends of the group of people/ relationships to whether or not it's appropriate or not iynwim

    Like for mothers day this year my family all chucked in $10 each and I went and bought all the stuff for a big brunch with heaps of food & drinks


    O an if it's take away we normally all chip in a few $$$

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    Theophania's Avatar
    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I think it depends on why people are gathering. If it is for my birthday or one of the kids or DH we supply everything. However at Christmas time I had the whole family over (I am one of seven children so we have a huge family) and instead of everyone bringing a plate I just asked everyone to chip in money and I would take care of all the preparation/shopping etc. I don't think that was unreasonable, it actually made Christmas easier on everyone else and I enjoy baking and cooking... win/win for our family

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    I would never ask people to bring anything other than spirits (and often not even that we generally provide everything) to a get together.

    I would think it extremely rude and ill mannered to ask someone to pay towards a dinner invitation. It is different if you are having a casual get together, eg to play poker or watch the footy and you all decide to put in to get pizza or other take away.

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    In our group of mates it's normal as well. We don't get together very often so when we do it's big. Whoever is hosting organizes and supplies everything and we all throw in however much we would have spent on food and drink to take anyway. And of course it's NOT EXPECTED. It's just something we do. Going by the judgement this topics has received in the other thread I'm now rather glad we don't do it very often- we would probably all be shunned by the "normal" people.

    If its just a casual BBQ or something like that it's different, everyone just brings what they want.

    I really can't believe it has become that big of a deal in the other thread. Ok, so many people don't agree/understand, that's fine but I found some people just got quite nasty.

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    When we were broke at uni, we would share the cost of a special dinner someone was making. a friend of mine used to make the most amazing Indian feasts but the ingredients cost around $50. Being seriously broke uni students no ne couldn't afford this by themselves so we would chuck in$5 - $10 each and a bottle of the cheapest wine we could find Good times

    I should say though that we are still friends now (12 years later) and I when went around to her house for a dinner party a little while ago, I no longer contributed to the cost of the meal but the price of the bottle of wine I took has increased significantly

    TBH I am not sure of your or your friends circumstances, but I would find it v weird these days if someone asked me around for dinner and asked for a contrib. I would do it, but would think it strange. It's all relative though

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    I've never come across it before and wouldn't do it myself. On the other hand, almost everything I go to and everything I host is 'bring a plate', including some weddings which is something that I imagine that others may find strange. I think it's really lovely as so much care, thought and creativity goes into the food

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    If its all agreed beforehand that everyone is going to chip in, fine. But i think what the person in the other thread was saying was that her SIL invited people round for dinner then asked them to pay up afterwards, which is not on.

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  15. #10
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    When we invite friends or family for dinner or lunch, then we are inviting you as our guests....I have never and could never ask for a financial contribution, I wouldn't even know how to word it

    Our friends bring wine and sometimes flowers and we do the same when we are invited for lunch or dinner, nice wine and often flowers too.....if it's a larger gathering with lots of kids we've taken a box of ice-blocks or similiar and I will always offer salads or whatever, never been asked for cash though.

    Interesting thread

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