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  1. #61
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    i think it is rude being angry at them for not offering.

    I do not see asking as "begging" or "belittling"....no more would I see it as any other negative.

    I don't have family near by...but when we go to stay with them (once a year), I always ask mum to babysit for the afternoon so DH and I can go to a movie or something. My mum is staying with us this week...and I will ask her to watch the kids for a few hours one weekend so DH and I can go somewhere together...i would never expect her to offer or get cut if she didn't offer.

    I have had to ask friends to babysit DS before (during IVF and also when i had some pregnancy issues and DH needed to take me to hospital)...and never did i feel like I was begging or somehow demeaning myself. I take care of one of my friends son often during the school holidays (she works, i don't) and she asks me each term ... i do not see her as begging either.

    I think it is perception...asking for help is not an awful thing...the strongest people i know ask and accept help all the time.

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  3. #62
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    I don't think it's selfish to wish for someone to look after your children and for you to get a break/honeymoon. But you do need I ask, it isn't fair to presume/expect out children to be looked after when you don't ask. I often have the same problem as you - my SIL gets an unbelievable amount of help with her kids and I get not much - but I never ask, and everytime I have asked I have got help - its just that everyone assumes we are coping/don't need help (even with a DH that travels 1 month every 2 months).... I guess I do cope - but sometimes I should not be so proud and ask. I think this applies to you too.

  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    But why should I have to ask? I don't like asking...because then I feel like I'm putting people out. Is that what other people do? Go around asking their family when they want some time away? Do other people's families offer?
    Yep.. I ask :-)

    ***Sent from my phone***

  5. #64
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    sucks they haven't offered...

    but, I agree - lack of communication leads to confusion and anger.

    just ask!

  6. #65
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    Thanks everyone.

    Obviously anytime I need time away I'll need to ask. Which I find hard to do...so it probably won't happen.

    Thankfully I have a 15 year old now so going out for a coffee is ok...I just wouldn't leave her here overnight...can't wait for the day when I can! LOL

    I just don't like asking...I don't know why. I think the same as Delirium where I expect that people are observant and assume we'd like some time away and be nice/kind enough to offer...and would WANT to watch the kids...being family and all. No I haven't offered to watch their kids.....cos they don't have any LOL I'm the only one! But as soon as one pops out a kid...quess what I'll be doing?? LOL


 

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