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  1. #41
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    Des, I think that you come across as an extremely well organised and together kind of person. The type of person that would say if they wanted/needed something.

    That might be why nobody has offered, cause they all probably think that you would say something about wanting a child free weekend.

    I hope you get your wish and you and your DH get a lovely/romantic w/e away.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.
    Maybe not aunts but I do think grandparents have an obligation to help care for their grand Children or at least offer to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by twotrunks View Post
    Maybe not aunts but I do think grandparents have an obligation to help care for their grand Children or at least offer to.
    Im going to disagree. I don't think anyone has an obligation to help care for anyone else's children.

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.
    The point is, it shouldn't feel like an obligation. It's something a family should want to do for each other.Especially when we do it for others but they don't return the favour.

    and tbh this proves how we have lost the village mentality. That it's a chore.
    Last edited by delirium; 10-06-2012 at 17:12.

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  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    The point is, it shouldn't feel like an obligation. It's something a family should want to do for each other.Especially when we do it for others but they don't return the favour.

    and tbh this proves how we have lost the village mentality. That it's a chore.
    It actually DOES become a chore, when it's expected and stops being something you do as a favour/because you want to. I'm not saying Des' is like this. For all intents and purposes, she's actually the opposite and not sure what to do. I encourage her to ask someone, since she doesn't seem to do it often. But a lot of the responses to her thread make it sound like it should be expected that other people will care for your kids, and that they have to do it, out of obligation not because it will be an enjoyable experience for them and the kids, which is what babysitting is.

    Babysitting is a treat for the sitter and the kids. They're the people who DON'T parent your kids, and who take your kids because they WANT to, they ENJOY the time they have with them. But when it becomes an obligation, which it sounds like a lot of people expect it to be from this thread, it's no longer pleasant, nor fun, it feels like a job.

  10. #46
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    Yikes, ok. Just giving my perspective which is what the OP asked for

    I offer to take my SIL's kids all the time, plus I always take them when asked. My frustration is it's never returned. This isn't about others parenting my kids lol considering no one ever takes them I parent them 24/7 and not sure why you are so angry? but anyhoo I'll bow out...

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    I'm not actually angry at all, just pointing out my perspective, which happens to be different from other peoples.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    It actually DOES become a chore, when it's expected and stops being something you do as a favour/because you want to. I'm not saying Des' is like this. For all intents and purposes, she's actually the opposite and not sure what to do. I encourage her to ask someone, since she doesn't seem to do it often. But a lot of the responses to her thread make it sound like it should be expected that other people will care for your kids, and that they have to do it, out of obligation not because it will be an enjoyable experience for them and the kids, which is what babysitting is.

    Babysitting is a treat for the sitter and the kids. They're the people who DON'T parent your kids, and who take your kids because they WANT to, they ENJOY the time they have with them. But when it becomes an obligation, which it sounds like a lot of people expect it to be from this thread, it's no longer pleasant, nor fun, it feels like a job.
    I disagree. When I lived in Melbourne and my sister moved back from the UK with her sons one of the things I looked forward to most was babysitting them, for lots of reasons. For me to spend more time with them, so they could get to know my kids better, so I could help my sister, and because I finally had family around and I loved them and wanted to develop a close bond between all of us so we were each others back ups. I had a very clingy 9 month old at the time and never expected my sister to take my kids, although she did offer and did do it for me.

    Sadly we moved away and one the things I miss most if having her boys around. My older daughter said after we moved that she missed her cousins like she misses the sun some days. I was so sad we'd moved but also extremely happy that in a short time she had grown so close to her cousins.

    OP I would take your 2 kids in a heart beat, and without being asked. I am desperate to raise my kids in a village, even if it's one I have to build for them and not one that comes naturally.

    I appreciate your frustration, but given it's your honeymoon, I would ask. It's too important an occasion. My BF asked me to take her 2 kids when it her her and her DH's 10th wedding anniversary, and I did even though my own kids were away with DH visiting grandparents. It wasn't ideal but they had no one else to ask.
    Last edited by Sonja; 10-06-2012 at 17:43.

  13. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.
    *IF* you had a village mentality your sister wouldn't need to ask, you'd already be minding her kids from time to time and you'd already be attuned to the fact she needed a beak.

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  15. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.
    *IF* you had a village mentality your sister wouldn't need to ask, you'd already be minding her kids from time to time and you'd already be attuned to the fact she needed a beak.


 

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