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  1. #31
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    Nope. Noone will lookafter our kids. Dh asked fil to look after our 2 as we have a close friend wedding a 3 hour drive away on crappy roads. He's just cracked it because he didnt realise we weren't coming back

    My dad and his partner 'dont do nappies'. Hubby was away and I had a wedding 5 mins away from their place, but they insisted on looking after them at my house 30 mins away so I had to do a one hour round trip between wedding and reception to put dd to bed!
    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

  2. #32
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    It's not even that I want the time away from them it's that our families dont seem to want to develop a relationship with the kids that upsets me the most

    **Mum, Dad, Big boy (Dec 08) and Baby girl (Feb 11)**

  3. #33
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    I always ask people to babysit. The only people we've ever left DD with have been the grandparents, and I know that they're always happy for an opportunity to babysit - so I don't feel like I'm pressuring them/ begging, as they love to do it.

    I think there's a difference between making someone feel obliged to do it, and just asking simply and nicely. I think most people will say no if they really don't want to do something, and if you don't ask then you don't have the opportunity for them to say yes.

    On the flipside, I have never offered to look after someone's children - other than newborn babies for new parents. If someone asked me to do it then I'm sure I would, but I don't have any family with little children.

    I do have a friend who doesn't have babysitters close by, but I haven't offered to babysit as I know that she parents very differently from me, and I would worry about how to look after her child. With DD, I put her to bed early, and she goes straight down and sleeps through. With my friend's child, they rock or pat her to sleep, and she sometimes doesn't go down until late, and often wakes up. I've got no experience of what to do in that situation, and I've never done the rocking/ shushing thing to sleep. I think I would just feel a bit out of my depth with a child who was very different from DD.

    But, if she was really stuck and asked me then I would say yes. Not sure if that makes sense!

  4. #34
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    Unless we hire a baby sitter (which we have done once due to the cost), we don't have anyone watch the kids. Not once has my mum babysat (and she lives 3 houses away). DH's mum would but she lives too far away.

    We got married in November last year. I asked my mum if she would take the kids for the wedding night. Her answer was no because she would be too busy drinking. Her exact words. Thankfully a friends mum offered at the last minute to take them. The night before the wedding I slept on the tiled floor while the kids had my bed. Honeymoon? What honeymoon?

    The weekend DH proposed is another example. We were meant to go to a concert. We had the tickets and accommodation booked and paid for for months in advance and had it organized with my mum for her to take the kids, again done months in advance. I got a text off her 2 WEEKS before we were meant to go saying she was going to Brisbane for the weekend so couldnt watch the kids. and no, she hadn't forgotten about the fact we had arranged for her to have the kids.

    I have asked her numerous times to watch them and each time it's the same response. "no I can't, I'm going out/will be drinking/have plans". So I don't bother any more.

    The last time DH and I had kid free time (excluding our wedding night) was over 2 years ago.

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  6. #35
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    I'm a single mum and no body ever offers to take him to give me a break. However if I ask , I am usually given a yes.

    Put it this way, do you ever ring a buddy and ask to mind her kids? Probably not. And if you were my friend and said nothing about a honeymoon and wanting to get away I'd assume you aren't going to bother. I take people on face value. If however you asked me to take two of your kids as the others were going to their dads so you could have a honeymoon weekend, I'd happily oblige. I know how you feel, I hate asking too but sometimes we have to get over ourselves and swallow our pride.

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    You aren't being selfish at all to want a weekend away, but sometimes people don't think to offer so maybe you need to ask family/friends if they can help you out? Or perhaps you could do a deal with a family member/friend where you take their kids one weekend, and they take yours another so you can get away.


    I guess maybe think about it the other way, have you ever offered the same thing to someone else? To look after their kids while they go away for the weekend? I always try to think that i can't expect others to do what i haven't done. We don't have kids yet, but we've looked after my best friends kids a couple of weekends when they went away to an interstate wedding. We offered, but i know they would do the same thing for us down the track.


    I don't think it's a given, it sounds like in your relationship its been a bit difficult for you to spend a lot of time together, but thats sort of your choice. I don't think you can ever really expect people to baby sit your kids, its probably just a nice thing if they offer.


    Maybe just put the word out to your family/friends that you'd like to take your new hubby away for the weekend sometime soon, do they think they could possibly help you out looking after the kids. I'm sure someone would then offer, especially if you've just been married.

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    Not one little bit!

  9. #38
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    I think just ask. I would probably say yes I'd been asked but I wouldn't offer. I don't know why.

    If people really don't want to they'll just say no.

  10. #39
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    I think it's fair to say the OP should ask when it's friends, but why should she even need to ask close family? this is what upsets me. Surely grandparents aunts/uncles would *want* more time with the kids and would realise the OP was getting married?

    I dunno but this is what upsets me with my own situation. Everyone says they love the kids, I have commented we NEVER get a break and they go oh ok..... silence. Not one offer to have the kids mind you they sure don't mind asking us for stuff all the time....

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  12. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I think it's fair to say the OP should ask when it's friends, but why should she even need to ask close family? this is what upsets me. Surely grandparents aunts/uncles would *want* more time with the kids and would realise the OP was getting married?

    I dunno but this is what upsets me with my own situation. Everyone says they love the kids, I have commented we NEVER get a break and they go oh ok..... silence. Not one offer to have the kids mind you they sure don't mind asking us for stuff all the time....
    But what obligation do they have to take YOUR kids?? I'm an Aunt and we are a very village mentality in my family, but I'd be highly offended, tbh, if my sister was angry at ME for not taking HER kids.


 
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