+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 7 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 65
  1. #11
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Posts
    6,095
    Thanks
    399
    Thanked
    747
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'm quite happy if they say "no" because it indicates that they weren't pressured by the request.

    I was brought up with the concept that, "it never hurts to ask", but if someone always says "yes" then I'll stop asking that person for favours because I will fear that they are someone who feels obliged to help when asked. Conversely, someone that says "no" I'm happy to ask again in future, because they are answering honsestly whether or not they are prepared to help at that time.

    My concept is to ask and expect a "no". That way if you get it a "yes" it is a pleasant surprize.

    =================

    I'm also one that would often be happy to help but reluctant to offer for fear of offending the other party. So I'll ask for help but I'll usually not offer unless someone is in a rather desperate position.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    Tasmania
    Posts
    1,381
    Thanks
    469
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    15
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I guess that's why I suggested just putting it on Facebook as a non-direct question, that way those who want to help can approach you?

    I don't feel bad asking my Mum as she'll say if she has something else to do and she enjoys having him and spending time with him. If I had others to ask, I'd probably feel a bit awkward but needs must!

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    716
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked
    131
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I hate asking people for stuff. I'm very independent and always have been but I've asked my parents to look after DD when DH and I went and saw Nitro Circus. She was 10 weeks old and only slept 30 minutes in 6.5 hours for them. So not an easy night for them

    I've only ever looked after my friends little girl when they asked. So after me prattling on I guess asking is my advice to

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    454
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    58
    Reviews
    0
    Yep I asked both my n DH parents to look after our DD for our honeymoon. Both had her for a few days. That was for a week to and they had no issue.
    I wouldn't expect anyone to offer so I ask.

    Maybe they don't offer as they don't know it would only b the two kids.

    But def not selfish u need a break

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to tjewell For This Useful Post:

    Ashram  (09-06-2012)

  6. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,202
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Nope not selfish at all. I feel your pain lol we have family living here and they NEVER offer to take the kids. One of my SIL's until recently was more than happy for us to take her kids almost all the holidays with lots of sleep overs and having them 2 days straight. They would go out to parties and functions and we again took her kids. But when I asked her to return the favour she was always 'busy'. So I gave up asking and she has never once offered.

    It sucks

  7. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    But why should I have to ask? I don't like asking...because then I feel like I'm putting people out. Is that what other people do? Go around asking their family when they want some time away? Do other people's families offer?
    If you don't ask, how are people supposed to know? Sorry, but I don't think it's fair of you to expect people to just sort of know what you want them to do. Some people may feel it would be presumptuous to offer to take your kids overnight too. We have 3 kids and no one has ever just offered to take all 3. 6 kids might be too much for someone to babysit- I know I wouldn't have room! Maybe do what PP's have said and see if a few freinds or family members can share them out?
    If you want people to help then I think it's up to you to ask. By the way, I don't think it's selfish AT ALL for you to want a weekend away!

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Atropos For This Useful Post:

    MommaBear  (10-06-2012),wrena  (09-06-2012)

  9. #17
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    827
    Thanks
    36
    Thanked
    433
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I have a brother who is a frequent asker "can you watch miss c while I do xyz" and we never say no but when the shoes on the other foot it's a different story. So now when he asks I say oh that's fine but can you take the older 2 or the babies for an hour and I'll take miss c that day.

  10. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    4,117
    Thanks
    2,910
    Thanked
    3,332
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Ask family?? I just TELL them when they are babysitting

  11. #19
    StretchmarkBarbie's Avatar
    StretchmarkBarbie is offline Senior Member
    Winner 2009- Best Username Award
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    1,977
    Thanks
    105
    Thanked
    208
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    See we are one of those really lucky families that have a village. My mum has offered to take the three kudos all day tomorrow so I can get some studying done. But a whole weekend or even overnight we would need to ask.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to StretchmarkBarbie For This Useful Post:

    Mellybel  (18-04-2013)

  13. #20
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Country WA
    Posts
    6,644
    Thanks
    3,135
    Thanked
    3,028
    Reviews
    13
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    I even had family ask "Are you going on a honeymoon?" "Er no...cos we have the kids" "Well that's a shame!"
    I think that's the problem right there. They probably think you're not wanting to go without them. If your answer was "we need someone to mind the kids" then they would know you need someone. They also wouldn't know that you would plan it for a weekend when 4 kids are with their Dad, and I think most people would be overwhelmed at the thought of 6 (and may not think about splitting them).

    So no, I don't think you are selfish in wanting people to ask/offer, but I think people rarely do. Everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives these days, they probably haven't thought of asking as if it was me, I would assume you would organise it if you wanted to go away. So ask I say!


 

Similar Threads

  1. Be honest! How much did you pay for your dog?
    By Janesmum123 in forum Pets
    Replies: 79
    Last Post: 30-11-2012, 07:51
  2. Was I wrong be honest
    By kmetius in forum General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 18-02-2012, 23:21
  3. Guess I have to be honest with myself...
    By Chocolate All Gone Now in forum Prenatal depression
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 03-02-2012, 19:38

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Baby U & The Wiggles - Toilet Training Products
Toilet training can be a testing time but Baby U is there to assist you and your toddler with the daunting task of toilet training. With a range of products that can be used at home, on holidays or out & about.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!