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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnC View Post
    If you are looking for medical advice for your son, these forums are not the place to get it. What you need is a diagnosis, first of all to determine if there actually is a problem and, if so, what the optimum solution might be. Ask your doctor for a referral to a paediatric urologist and go with your son and your partner.

    As a general note, trying to retract a 4yo's foreskin, with or without "creams", is more often a source of problem rather than a solution. But no-one here can know about the specifics of any particular situation -- that's why we have specialists, and why specialists start by doing an examination.
    Please do this.

    On forums like this, you get people like me who are passionately against routine infant circumcision where a medical need for it is not in evidence. You also get those who are passionately for routine circumcision as a preventative measure for a problem that may never exist. You also get a sprinkling of circumcision fetish folk, who I am best not to discuss at all.

    However, all of these varying groups can usually agree that if a 4yo has an issue, something needs to be done. That something is consulting a specialist. Nobody on this forum can really give you any medical advice on what course of action should be taken in your son's case. That is why your first and only course of action should be consulting a peadiatric urologist. A gp can give you a referral, but shouldn't be your end stop, they are specialists in general medicine, not paediatric urological issues. Also, reading all the pro circ or anti circ sites out there won't be any help, they may just confuse the issue for you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by circangel View Post
    I dont think it is a bias but just what is the best for their health and well being. I do understand why your wife is feeling the way she is with all the talk these days to not get it done until older etc. Strangely enough it is a preference for some women to have circumcised partners and this might be why some mothers choose to have their boys done. Also I have heard the foreskin allows viruses in such as HIV and HPV I understand that condoms are the best protection but what if they are not worn. Parents take the responsibilty where they can for their kids.
    Please don't spread misinformation. That is simply not true.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Opinionated View Post
    Please do this.

    On forums like this, you get people like me who are passionately against routine infant circumcision where a medical need for it is not in evidence. You also get those who are passionately for routine circumcision as a preventative measure for a problem that may never exist. You also get a sprinkling of circumcision fetish folk, who I am best not to discuss at all.

    However, all of these varying groups can usually agree that if a 4yo has an issue, something needs to be done. That something is consulting a specialist. Nobody on this forum can really give you any medical advice on what course of action should be taken in your son's case. That is why your first and only course of action should be consulting a peadiatric urologist. A gp can give you a referral, but shouldn't be your end stop, they are specialists in general medicine, not paediatric urological issues. Also, reading all the pro circ or anti circ sites out there won't be any help, they may just confuse the issue for you.
    I guess I am more seeking advise on how I can deal with Mrs on the subject. I completely understand what you are saying, if there is a problem, it properly needs to be checked out. Don't forget though, that he has tried the creams, twice. It did give him relief while he was using them, but then the problem just seeems to relapse after he stops using them. I would also like to mention that Mrs and I strongly suspect that he has some form of ADHD, and I think this is only magnifying the problem behaviour if urination is burning sometimes for him.

    So if we have already tried creams with no success, what other options really are there besides a circumcision? What is the point of going to a specialist that is going to try what we already tried? Then eventually tell what I already know is needed. He has already seen behaviour specialists in the last couple of months I don't want to send him to more specialists.

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    How do you know a specialist is going to recommend more creams? A specialist may recommend a circumcision for all I know, or there may be some other new treatment (maybe not a full circ, but cutting a slit?? so it can't re-tighten). What I am saying is I don't know if there is other options and I wouldn't suggest you try to convince your wife of something until you have both looked into the options that only a paediatric urologist can advise you of.

    Maybe it's not even a penis problem. If he has some form of ADHD or other form of developmental issue , he may have issues with clothing and sensation rather than his penis. The creams may have changed the sensations he experienced rather than fixed a tight foreskin issue if it even exists. Get a referral to a paediatrician. You seem to be convinced that surgery may fix this, but if it is behavioural you may just create more problems. It is best to get to the root of the issue with specialists rather than focus on what you are guessing to be the problem.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Opinionated View Post
    How do you know a specialist is going to recommend more creams? A specialist may recommend a circumcision for all I know, or there may be some other new treatment (maybe not a full circ, but cutting a slit?? so it can't re-tighten). What I am saying is I don't know if there is other options and I wouldn't suggest you try to convince your wife of something until you have both looked into the options that only a paediatric urologist can advise you of.

    Maybe it's not even a penis problem. If he has some form of ADHD or other form of developmental issue , he may have issues with clothing and sensation rather than his penis. The creams may have changed the sensations he experienced rather than fixed a tight foreskin issue if it even exists. Get a referral to a paediatrician. You seem to be convinced that surgery may fix this, but if it is behavioural you may just create more problems. It is best to get to the root of the issue with specialists rather than focus on what you are guessing to be the problem.
    I am fully aware that a dorsal slit is the alternative option avaliable, but to be totally honest in my opinion it creates a penis that looks more ugly than both a uncut & cut one, and I feel any young boy in school would be an outcast with such a strange looking penis that is unlike the 2 different types of norms that everyone knows about. There are so many reasons why I would never agree to a dorsal slit instead. How many women on this forum have been with a guy who has a dorsal slit, for example?

    Have you seen a picture of a penis that has had a dorsal slit procedure? You will understand why I feel so strongly against that alternative. It is basically a partially exposed head with a big lump of skin hanging from underneath.

    Ignoring his behaviour and putting this aside, a simple exam of his foreskin reveals quite a long foreskin with overhang, that has formed a tight restrictive band and I am unable to locate the urethra. There is no question.

    As for his behaviour and the potential surgery, that is an interesting point and I am not sure if the behaviour will get worse or better. I can only hope better if it gives him relief long term but short term may be a different story. I do concede that visiting the specialist as a needed step never the less. The part I need to work out myself is how to discuss this with spouse with more success than previously.

    I guess the consensus is that at the very least it is a situation that requires further investigation.

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    Thread seems to be going off track so will now be closed.

    Reminder to everyone, if you are concerned about any members please REPORT do not try to 'out' people in threads as it will only earn you an infraction.


 

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