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  1. #1
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    Default Confused

    I have been browing the web for some time now looking for answers and came across this forum from a google search. I will keep it as short and simple as I can.

    When I was a young kid, I was diagnosed with a tight/short foreskin. I was at a young enough age that I don't remember actually being diagnosed with this at the time, although what I do remember at the time is my mother encouraging me to pull back my skin at bath time to wash behind it, and I never remember being ultimately successful. It wasn't until my teenage years that I was able to retract my foreskin with a lot of difficulty, and at that age I guess your mother isn't involved with your penis in any way, and it was too embarrassing to talk about.

    Subsequently, at the age where I was meant to be discoving sex and having fun, I instead became very self-conscious about my penis. I eventually got myself done in my early 20s fully off my own accord both financially and with no one else for support. It has totally changed my sex life for the better but I will leave that at that because I am not looking for a debate here. My circ job is ok but it doesn't look as good as a baby circ does when they are my age and is too loose so could do with a revision to hopefully finally fix it.

    Now I am 29 and my 4 year old son seems to have the same problem and complains that his foreskin/head is sore at times. I feel he is going to grow up with the same problems I had. We have been to the doctors a couple of times and have tried the creams with no real change. The mother is against circ and doesn't want to see my viewpoint. I feel it is better to have this fixed for him at an early age where it will heal neater for him and not cost him over $2,000 like it did me, with more money yet to be spent.

    My mother wanted me done at the time of birth, and dad is done. The hospital just 'don't do that anymore', and this was back in '83! When I was about 4 or 5 we moved to a different end of the state, where boys were done, and I was then in the 1/3 uncut minority growing up. I think, uncut minority can be teased in school, where if the cut is the minority, the teasing doesn't seem to happen that way around, at least in my experience growing up.

    I feel that someone has to be responsible for my pain and suffering growing up. Do all doctors ever do recommend for tight foreskin phimosis is creams? Where is a circ needed? Why wasn't my penis fixed if it had a problem that I eventually had to get fixed myself? These are questions I have that don't have answers, and I want to do everything possible to make sure my son doesn't go through the same. Advise please. Ben

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    It is not normal for a foreskin to retract at that age. Leave it alone is the best advice.

    If he needs doing later, go for it, but not at 4.

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    I'd be interested in this too. My hubby has the same issue, though he never got his fixed and just deals with it (he is too conscious of the fact it will be a lengthy recovery for him now and will have to take time off of work). Our one year old son has the same problem and I am waiting on an appointment with a pediatric surgeon about it. Our GP gave me the referral.
    If we are to have another boy he will be getting circ'd when he is a newborn.
    Anyways, I suppose it you are concerned you could enquire with your doctor about surgery and see if you can't get a referral to a surgeon to discuss it further? Would your wife get him done if the Dr recommended it?

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    Did you read all my post? Is it normal for him to complain of pain in that region, often when he urinates also?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nin Nan Nong View Post
    I'd be interested in this too. My hubby has the same issue, though he never got his fixed and just deals with it (he is too conscious of the fact it will be a lengthy recovery for him now and will have to take time off of work). Our one year old son has the same problem and I am waiting on an appointment with a pediatric surgeon about it. Our GP gave me the referral.
    If we are to have another boy he will be getting circ'd when he is a newborn.
    Anyways, I suppose it you are concerned you could enquire with your doctor about surgery and see if you can't get a referral to a surgeon to discuss it further? Would your wife get him done if the Dr recommended it?
    It is not really a lengthy recovery. Just can't shower for a few days, walking strange for a few days, need to sit to pee, that sort of thing.

    As for partner, not too sure, but I would believe that she would know what I am up to if I push for it too much more, so i'm stuck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Leave it alone is the best advice.
    This is the advise that the doctors must have made for me and I had to suffer so many years because of it.

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    What do you mean "know what you were up to"

    Is she suspicious of an ulterior motive?

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    Ben. To answer your question - no, it is not normal to be experiencing pain down there. Your body is not supposed to hurt when you urinate.

    I think the whole 'leave it alone and everything will be ok' is not very sound advice. I would hate the thought of my boys being in constant pain and just accepting it out of fear of making a decision. Doctors should not be just turning you away.

    Both my boys were circ'd as a newborn, so I don't have much exposure to the issues that you are experiencing with him. But I do have experience dealing with doctors to get the boys circumcised.

    My recommendation would be to find a doctor who does circumcisions (so he at least is not scared of the procedure), and let him/her have a look.

    I'm not sure where you are from, but here is a list of some doctors that may be able to help you.
    http://www.circinfo.net/pdfs/LOC-ANZ%200912-1.pdf

    There are obviously a heap more doctors other than this list. If you call your local hospital maternity ward, they should be able to give you a list of doctors in your area... as long as they aren't "intactivists", in which case you may be abused.

    Hopefully you can find a solution to the problem.

    Good luck.

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    Based on your history I'd be looking at taking your son to a specialist and getting a recommendation from them. Your situation is not the 'norm', nor is your son's.

    It certainly sounds like you have good reason to consider circ in the circumstance. Have you asked your wife why she is anti-circ?

    I especially ask this because I am personally anti routine infant circ, but if a man/boy has a condition that is not being resolved by creams and time, than circ has it's place. I kind of consider it to be like tonsils or gall bladder etc.

    Is your wife really anti-circ, or is she anti RIC?

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  12. #10
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    I have a friend who's son had the same problem at around 4. She eventually had to travel to another city 4 hours away to have her son's circ done, as the procedure is not done in our city (ridiculous).

    What does your partner do when your son says he is in pain?

    Would it damage your relationship if you made an appt with a specialist without her consent? Surely just getting a professional opinion can't hurt?

    Good luck.


 

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