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  1. #21
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    I'm so sorry your going through this. I actually thought I was reading about my own In laws.... Mine are just as bad.
    Run, run, run... These people are abusive and you don't want your DD to think its ok to put up with abuse. As she gets older, she will see things more clearly, this is not goo for her. You need to make a stand and show your DD what "not to put up with"!!!

    If your DH is supportive, that is fantastic. Mine is, but to a degree. I agree with him, go talk to a counsellor as they really can show you things from a perspective you haven't considered before. We go to counseling due to my DH's parents ****. It helps a lot. You would be doing this for you, not them. It will help you.

    Those In laws are really retarded!!!

  2. #22
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    These replys are shining a very big light here. I agree, get away, far away. Don't look back!

    If you ever see them again, just walk past and say 'yuck..' out loud. Because that's all they are babe!! You DH and DD deserve better!!

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  3. #23
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    What...... The...... $@(&!!!!!!
    Congratulations on holding it together for so long..... Had it been me in your situation if have punched someone out by now!!
    Please keep these nasty people away from your precious baby girl.... Yes it's not fair thy she will miss out on having grandparents but in all seriousness, do you want such toxic people having any sort of influence in her life?
    I'm glad your DH has walked away from them so that should make it easier for you to do also, although if it was me I would have wanted him to stand up for me a bit more but then again I don't know these people and don't know the full story.
    Unfortunately these kind of people don't change - I have one as a mother and have had nothin to do with her for nearly 5 years and I couldn't be happier.
    Good luck with it all but please PLEASE protect your baby girl from such evil!

  4. #24
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    I just wanted to say that it sounds like you're doing a great job - it's very admirable that you take your dd to visit them so she doesn't miss out on her grandparents. But saying that, they are toxic and you don't want them to have such a negative effect on your little girl.
    I do empathize with you, my in laws suck and I've been with my partner for almost 9 years. I actually burst into tears when he tells me his parents are coming to visit. My food is 'crap' and I was told that I shouldn't get too excited when I was pregnant. They always make it seem like i'm the bad guy who is stopping them from seeing their son and granddaughter.
    I hope you are able to work it all out. It's nice to hear that your partner supports you.

  5. #25
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    They are awful, I would move far far away from them to a different state and i wouldn't be shy in telling them why either.
    Tell them they are mean, spiteful, horrible people and you want nothing to do with them.
    Your dp needs to stand up to them too.

  6. #26
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    My dads brothers and sisters were always mean to my mum. My mum never said anything bad about them to me. One day wen I was 11 my uncle went off at my mum in front of me. My family stopped seeing him for years, only to reconcile after about 10 years.

    I will never, ever ever speak to that man again. I hate him for the sh1t he and his wife did and said about my mum.

    The reason I tell u this story is that never worry that your daughter will not believe or stop loving you, no matter what lies they tell her.

    You'd be better off cutting them off I say. If and when your Dd asks about them, always be polite, she will realise that they are not nice.

    Good luck, my ILs are crap so I know how hard it can be.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachell View Post
    Thank you all so much for your replies, I didn't expect to get so much advise

    I agree with everything everyone has said.
    I know they need to be cut out.
    It's been going on for so long now..
    And it must sound stupid to you all that I still feel sadness that it's turned out like this.
    I think its completely understandable to feel sad about it. Its a sad situation, it really is, and its horrible to feel rejected by people you thought of as family. It hurts. You know what they say is untrue, you know they are cruel, but it still hurts. I think that's natural.

    Seeing a professional is a good idea. Toxic people like this spread emotional damage around like its a hobby. I'm so sorry that you got such nasty inlaws.

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  9. #28
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    I just wanted to offer some I am amazed you managed to continue to be a good d-i-l despite their actions (I would have snapped a long time ago). However I think for your family's sake you need to cut them out of your lives. If they will say such horrible spiteful things when you have gone out of your way to continue a relationship imagine how much hurt they will bring upon your DD (Even if they are nice to her imagine how horrible it would be for her to hear them bagging out her parents once she is old enough to undestand).
    I think seeing a councellor is a good idea to get another perspective and come to grips with the sadness/feeling of loss and hurt that you feel.

  10. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I'd been seriously considering cutting them out of your lives for good.
    They sound absolutely toxic and to be honest, mentally ill. Sleeping with your mother..?? Sick.
    I'd be writing an email from yourself AND DH saying that you can no longer be around such negatively and unjust accusations.
    Frankly I'm in awe that you've put up with it for so long. You must be exhausted!
    Are you a people pleaser by nature? You sound as though you have done everything humanly possible to make peace.
    Who gives a rats what they say if you cut then out. You know the truth and I'm sure your friends and family do too.
    I wouldn't be letting my daughter near them.
    I hope your DH is understanding and supportive
    I really really feel for you.
    Good Luck.
    This!!

  11. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by faroutbrusselsprout View Post
    I'd been seriously considering cutting them out of your lives for good.
    They sound absolutely toxic and to be honest, mentally ill. Sleeping with your mother..?? Sick.
    I'd be writing an email from yourself AND DH saying that you can no longer be around such negatively and unjust accusations.
    Frankly I'm in awe that you've put up with it for so long. You must be exhausted!
    Are you a people pleaser by nature? You sound as though you have done everything humanly possible to make peace.
    Who gives a rats what they say if you cut then out. You know the truth and I'm sure your friends and family do too.
    I wouldn't be letting my daughter near them.
    I hope your DH is understanding and supportive
    I really really feel for you.
    Good Luck.
    This exactly, what awful people.


 

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