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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    Hmm, I have three boys and two girls and there is no way they would get away with doing that - particularly in a restaurant! I dare to say that is how some kids (boys AND girls) would behave if they didn't have appropriate boundaries.
    Quote Originally Posted by Refresh View Post
    What does she do if he is acting like that in a restaurant? I would seriously get up and leave if one of my children did that, they have to know it is not on. how is his diet? Do you think it could be related to that?
    as someone who is totally over being judged as a parent without boundaries, id love to help spread awareness and suggest u google some medical conditions like autism aspergers oppositional defiance disorder attention deficit disorder sensory processing disorder

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  3. #22
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    No, that behaviour is not normal.

    Unfortunately though I would say that out of control 4yo's are more likely to be from lack of parental boundaries than from a diagnosis. Maybe not amongst bubhub mum's as we are here seeking help & offering advice, but there are quite a few parents who really struggle with setting boundaries and following through on consequences. I know I really struggle with setting appropriate consequences that actually work for my 5yo ds.

    But, as the OP has said she thinks the parents are doing a good job as parents and setting some boundaries, etc, so, in the case of the mentioned child there may be an underlying health issue. If the Mum is concerned she should take him to the GP as a starting point. But, if he's at childcare or Kinder they will probably flag his behaviour as an issue and offer suggestions as needed.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    No, that behaviour is not normal.

    Unfortunately though I would say that out of control 4yo's are more likely to be from lack of parental boundaries than from a diagnosis. Maybe not amongst bubhub mum's as we are here seeking help & offering advice, but there are quite a few parents who really struggle with setting boundaries and following through on consequences. I know I really struggle with setting appropriate consequences that actually work for my 5yo ds.

    But, as the OP has said she thinks the parents are doing a good job as parents and setting some boundaries, etc, so, in the case of the mentioned child there may be an underlying health issue. If the Mum is concerned she should take him to the GP as a starting point. But, if he's at childcare or Kinder they will probably flag his behaviour as an issue and offer suggestions as needed.
    He is in kindy and the teacher has spoken to the mum about his behaviour..asking if he has quiet time at home..discipline etc....
    hopefully he will grow out of it!!!

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpysmurf View Post
    as someone who is totally over being judged as a parent without boundaries, id love to help spread awareness and suggest u google some medical conditions like autism aspergers oppositional defiance disorder attention deficit disorder sensory processing disorder
    I am quite aware of these conditions, I am not stupid and I didn't judge anyone??Sorry if you feel/are judged by others but I can assure you I would not be one of them, I have friends with autistic children, etc. I was giving advice from my own experience and giving my suggestions. Some children (as I said) act like this due to lack of boundaries It sounds like the child mentioned in the OP HAS been set boundaries (which is what I came back in here to say.)

    It is quite possible that he *doesn't* have a disorder and is going through a stage, 4 year olds can be quite boisterous and I personally think that all avenues should be explored. Not every child who is going through stage has a disorder, some do.
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 08-06-2012 at 11:36.

  6. #25
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    From the initial post it did seem like perhaps lack of boundaries was a problem, so I can understand why people suggested that. But after the OPs extra info it sounds like the parents are trying the right things. Maybe its just a stage, maybe its a disorder, maybe they just haven't found the right approach for him yet.

    i feel for the parents. Best thing you can do is be a supportive friend, listen if they want to talk, offer suggestion to see a dr if they ask for advice, and let them know you think they're great parents doing their best and you hope things improve for them. Tough situation.

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  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Maybelline View Post
    i think it's called 1 2 3 magic..what she does...
    time out in room for 4 min..(he goes wild in there though)..
    she also has a 8 month old girl ..so her time is limited..and yes he was like this before baby arrived..but more so as he has gotten older..
    I haven't read the rest of the posts but if she's done the 123 Magic course I'd recommend doing Circle of Security as well. Its a great followon.

    Apologies if this has been mentioned already.

    Also look at the Fed Up diet... small changes like making sure bread comes from the bakers & using real butter as opposed to margarine makes a big difference. There's also an elimination diet you can try to make sure one particular food isn't setting him off.
    Last edited by MummysYellowCar; 12-06-2012 at 08:22.

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    Absolutely does not sound normal, sounds exactly like ONE of my FOUR boys, the other 3 would never do such things, but you see, when it is something other than just behaviour - discipline just does not work

    My son has multiple Sensory processing disorders and one of the main ones is that he craves the feel of heavy touch, hence the jumping off furniture, crashing into people and throwing things. I would never take him to a restaurant at this point. It is just too hard. He is in occupation therapy for it, but I'd mention it to your friend.

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  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milktini View Post
    I really don't think it's up to you to self examine another parent's child, I mean what is it going to accomplish, i'd be pretty upset if a friend approched me with the prospect that my child may have some kind of behaviour disorder. But, yes I know kids that are just as full on as the one you have described, my eldest is very intense, and has done most of the behaviour you have mentioned, and I don't think he has any behaviour issues, he is just a very intense little boy, he is turning 5 soon and has pretty outgrown this kind of behaviour, but still has days where he is hard to control.

    He could have underlying problems, but I don't really think there is much you can do expect offer the mum support when he is acting out, maybe take the child for a walk or something if it is in a public place and he is having a melt down, but I definietly wouldn't be suggesting to the mother to get him checked out.
    I totally disagree with this, I never even considered there was anything different about my DS2 - I thought he was just quirky - it never crossed my mind that it could be more. I only went to the GP about him when friend said she had noticed a couple of things about him that could signal something else. I wasn't offended in the slightest. In fact I was touched that with her busy life she still cared enough to notice.

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