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  1. #71
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    My almost 4 month old will coo and grunt when trying to fall back asleep, sometimes a winge (not cry). If he doesn't fall asleep and cries loud and upset, I pick him up. That's the method that works us.
    Ps. My DS1 was formula fed and woke 2-3 hrs at night for a feed, my DS2 sleeps through the night, so all babies are different in that regard.

  2. #72
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    I think this debate is like any on bubhub. We should try to remember that not everyone can always do what is considered "ideal". I don't think many women want to do cc from the get go or as someone charmingly put it (oh but please don't flame her lol) are too lazy to get out of bed.. things like your support network, health, mental state, other family members and a whole bunch of other stuff comes into play. I honestly got to a point with my daughter where it was dangerous for me to drive, where I couldn't have fun with my older child, became extremely paranoid and anxious, would cry and have panic attacks at bedtime. Yes my child's mental health matters but if I go completely insane she will be worse off. It's not a black and white issue.
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  4. #73
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    I see self-soothing/settling as a different issue to crying. A bub can self-soothe/settle if all needs have been met, and is ready for sleep, is put down to sleep at the right moment (one yawn or rub of the eyes and that's enough for us ~ off to bed!). If crying or continued whining ensue, something is needed by bub. If all is well and they are put down to bed a little awake still, but relaxed and ready after their established bedtime routine, it's great to teach bubs to self settle. This needs to be a long-term establishment though. Much easier to teach them to self settle from day dot than to try later on! Lately, for my bub, teething is preventing him from self-settling effectively, and we've had more input. There is another thread on this in the hub I'll try to find and post the link here...

    I really think self-settling and allowing bubs to cry are different things. Crying is not a really soothing activity! Chewing on a cloth, sucking on a dummy/thumb, holding a blanket etc etc are soothing activities.

    OP ~ what level of input you feel is required for your bub may be very different to what others would do and it's your family and household, so read some of the advice in this thread and come to your own arrangement. Others don't have to live your life, in your house with your bub, so work out your own system, and as long as you are happy with your philosophy and your reasons behind it, you will feel confident with your choices.

    As for a PP comment about people on FB being happy to do CC, I think here in BH is a different kind of parent, as we come here to become better informed about parenting, seek information and to commune in a supportive environment...from the little I know of facebook, it's a different gig!
    Last edited by BaronessM; 07-06-2012 at 05:44.

  5. #74
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    Yes I have taken what I need from this, I wasn't aware that this was such a big topic in bub hub.
    I agree on the difference between self soothing and crying, I also think we all have different opinions of crying and all out babies are different.

    The mothers on my Facebook are all friends of mine and some of them are very well informed educated mothers and some especially on this topic so I (no offense to anyone who disagrees with Me here) take their opinions over the ones from a group of strangers.
    I would never have posted on here about this of I knew what kind of response I would get. Not that I wanted to be told yes your fine Doing why you are doing but some of the responses are quite offensive.

    But of course that's all in our own opinions.

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  7. #75
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    I'm sorry you got some responses that offended you, you have hit ona topic that people feel very strongly about, if people disagree with your methods they can be a bit less than tactful in wording their responses, but you will find that is par for the course with a lot of topics on here Don't take it personally, after all as you say (and no offence taken!) we are a bunch of strangers on an internet forum. As long as you got some information that helps you, that's all that matters. good luck with everything, sleep deprivation sucks! : hugs:

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    I look at it this way- if I was crying/sobbing/sooking/miserable, would I want to be left alone in a room while my loved ones sit out in another room watching telly or doing dishes? Definitely not! Just because they're babies it doesn't mean that their needs (or wants!) can be pushed aside and ignored. JMO!

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I look at it this way- if I was crying/sobbing/sooking/miserable, would I want to be left alone in a room while my loved ones sit out in another room watching telly or doing dishes? Definitely not! Just because they're babies it doesn't mean that their needs (or wants!) can be pushed aside and ignored. JMO!
    Babies don't know that we are watching tv or doing dishes silly!

    My babies needs and wants do not ever get pushed aside thank you very much. And it's rude of you to imply that I am.


    I'm seriously appalled with the lack of SUPPORTIVE advice. Yeah I asked a question but I didn't need to be made to feel I was doing the most awful thing in the world.

    Now will you excuse me while I put my crying tired baby to bed, where he will probably cry a little before dozing off after playing with me all morning with his toys.

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  12. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neekie View Post
    Babies don't know that we are watching tv or doing dishes silly!

    My babies needs and wants do not ever get pushed aside thank you very much. And it's rude of you to imply that I am.


    I'm seriously appalled with the lack of SUPPORTIVE advice. Yeah I asked a question but I didn't need to be made to feel I was doing the most awful thing in the world.

    Now will you excuse me while I put my crying tired baby to bed, where he will probably cry a little before dozing off after playing with me all morning with his toys.
    I'm confused. I thought you titled the thread very simply as "is it ok to..."

    Naturally you will get yes or no with the reasons behind it. You didn't ask for other methods.

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    You sound like a loving mum OP. There's no need for differing opinions to become as rude and forceful as they have.. Glad youre doing what you feel is best for your baby x

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  15. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    I look at it this way- if I was crying/sobbing/sooking/miserable, would I want to be left alone in a room while my loved ones sit out in another room watching telly or doing dishes? Definitely not! Just because they're babies it doesn't mean that their needs (or wants!) can be pushed aside and ignored. JMO!
    What a ridiculous thing to say. Who is pushing their babies needs aside and ignoring them? I think if people have nothing constructive to say they shouldn't say anything at all.

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