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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smartiecat View Post
    So pleased you got your clarification ... At the end of the day you need to do what is best for you, your family, your bub and what you are comfortable with.
    Thank you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZewZew View Post
    I agree to seek support only if you need it. I am happy to wake as many times as my child needs me but people always feel the need to tell me what THEY think I should be doing.
    And what is normal? Whose child is normal?
    As previously mentioned every parent needs to do what works for them
    exactly - I found other people were more distressed and struggled with jasper waking than me. I also started telling people he sleep through or wakes once or twice to avoid the whole "what are you doing wrong?" discussion.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using BubHub

  3. #63
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    Just because you wake 6-7 times a night for your baby doesn't mean someone who doesn't is doing the wrong thing or had their baby for the wrong reason. A breastfed baby would be different, but a formula fed baby would not need a feed that many times a night and I think that would be out of habit and not a good one if you're feeding them small amounts of formula 6-7 times overnight to fall back asleep.
    Motherhood doesn't equal martyrdom. You need to sleep and babies do too, if someone is unhappy with something, you change it. If pp isn't happy with the sleep routine then she's finding a way to change it. She never said she's leaving her baby alone all night to cry alone, she never said she won't respond to a distressed cry. Leaving a baby to self settle is actually good, and self settling isn't crying it out, babies do have the ability to roll around, or coo or whatever and put themselves to sleep. That's soothing themselves and it's not wrong.
    I don't mean to be mean, but as a mother of 2 babies atm telling a mum to just suck it up and to run to every noise or that they should be getting up 6-7 times and live on no sleep because you do is just wrong. It might work for you but sleep deprivation can be very bad for your health and well being and it needs to be remedied.

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  5. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Just because you wake 6-7 times a night for your baby doesn't mean someone who doesn't is doing the wrong thing or had their baby for the wrong reason. A breastfed baby would be different, but a formula fed baby would not need a feed that many times a night and I think that would be out of habit and not a good one if you're feeding them small amounts of formula 6-7 times overnight to fall back asleep.
    Motherhood doesn't equal martyrdom. You need to sleep and babies do too, if someone is unhappy with something, you change it. If pp isn't happy with the sleep routine then she's finding a way to change it. She never said she's leaving her baby alone all night to cry alone, she never said she won't respond to a distressed cry. Leaving a baby to self settle is actually good, and self settling isn't crying it out, babies do have the ability to roll around, or coo or whatever and put themselves to sleep. That's soothing themselves and it's not wrong.
    I don't mean to be mean, but as a mother of 2 babies atm telling a mum to just suck it up and to run to every noise or that they should be getting up 6-7 times and live on no sleep because you do is just wrong. It might work for you but sleep deprivation can be very bad for your health and well being and it needs to be remedied.
    OMG thank you so much for this! This is great!
    I will be a mum of two babies soon and I need his sleeping sorted before the new one comes!


  6. #65
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    Neekie, you come across as a caring and connected mum. Go with your instincts
    Sleep and settling is definitely a hot topic on BubHub, everyone has a different take on what works 'best' because every child has its own unique quirks, needs, wants and instinctive routine, different strokes for different folks.

    Good luck with the daytime sleeps

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    Quote Originally Posted by Neekie View Post
    I've only just started this up again after a break because I had him sleeping in my bed with me, (i was having a rough time with stress and anxiety..).....when he was sleeping better but now that he's not sleeping better with me I've put him back into his cot in his room, I get more and better sleep that way, he seems to be sleeping better in there when he does sleep.

    I haven't been to a sleep school.
    I only will feed him (formula fed) the 4 hourly when he wakes and cries for a feed, but he always seems to wake at around 3:30am and won't re settle even after his feed, so I bring him in with me at that point.

    Being pregnant as well with my husband on tour in America for 3 months, I'm alone at night time and I am exhausted all the time.
    Is it cold where you are? My son is very unsettled at around that time too I guess it's too cold. He's in bed with me since winter started and I just sleep with my shirt pulled down so he can feed whenever he wants. I know it's creating bad habit and most of the time it's comfort feed rather than hungry feed but I need some sleep. I'm very exhausted after midnight. I went to sleep school when bub was 4 month but he's changed a lot now, what worked before may not work now.

    We do whatever we need according to our own situation. Don't worry about people judging or feel that you need to explain yourself to the whole world. I don't do controlled crying but if it works for other mums why shouldn't they do it! And people tend to forget that little babies are very different to each other, just like us, there is hardly one method that works for every baby. I toss and turn for a good half an hour in bed to go to sleep and if something disrupts me, I'll need another half an hour. My husband sleeps the moment his back touches the bed and he's rarely waken up when DS cries unless I kick him My son is just like me, he needs to grizzle & roll back and forth to sleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lovesushi View Post
    Is it cold where you are? My son is very unsettled at around that time too I guess it's too cold. He's in bed with me since winter started and I just sleep with my shirt pulled down so he can feed whenever he wants. I know it's creating bad habit and most of the time it's comfort feed rather than hungry feed but I need some sleep. I'm very exhausted after midnight. I went to sleep school when bub was 4 month but he's changed a lot now, what worked before may not work now.

    We do whatever we need according to our own situation. Don't worry about people judging or feel that you need to explain yourself to the whole world. I don't do controlled crying but if it works for other mums why shouldn't they do it! And people tend to forget that little babies are very different to each other, just like us, there is hardly one method that works for every baby. I toss and turn for a good half an hour in bed to go to sleep and if something disrupts me, I'll need another half an hour. My husband sleeps the moment his back touches the bed and he's rarely waken up when DS cries unless I kick him My son is just like me, he needs to grizzle & roll back and forth to sleep.
    It is cold here, but he has the heater in there and i put it on for his day time
    Naps, so that's not a problem.

    Thank you, ive never felt judged on a forum before and it's quite an awful feeling. As a second time mum with a big gap between babies I find it daunting because so many things have changed since my DS1 was a baby. I never even knew of CC or Co sleeping 7 years ago!

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    I think its quite important to nip this in the bud before December- you'll have your hands full enough without doing it on no sleep.

    I never let my babies cry to sleep and they self settled and slept 12 hours a night at around 10-12 weeks old. It wasn't just "luck" either. Sometimes I would sit by the cot with my arm through the bar patting, rubbing their backs and shhhing them for 2-3 hours at a time. I was there for him without picking him up or feeding him through the night when it wasn't necessary. I don't believe in leaving a baby to cry, as I believe it makes them think negatively about bedtime and their bed/cots and this causes a whole lot of problems. Also, when they cry my first instinct is to go and comfort them, so I did that without causing bad habits.

    I would try sleeping bubba on his tummy and when he wakes I would go in there (dark, quiet) and simply pat him in a rythym while saying shh shh...if he gets upset and cries then I would pick him up and rock him until he is ok again and then back into the cot to be patted. This could go on for weeks...you'll want to give in and go back to just bringing him into your bed but if you persist at trying to get him to sleep on his own for the whole night I guarantee you'll never regret it. I think I got RSI from so much friggin patting but I dont give a crap now lol. Goodluck.

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  12. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neekie View Post
    It is cold here, but he has the heater in there and i put it on for his day time
    Naps, so that's not a problem.

    Thank you, ive never felt judged on a forum before and it's quite an awful feeling. As a second time mum with a big gap between babies I find it daunting because so many things have changed since my DS1 was a baby. I never even knew of CC or Co sleeping 7 years ago!
    I'm sure no ones judging you! Some people just think you should follow what they do or do things differently, of course you won't agree with everyone's advice. I just hope that someone has helped you out and given you the advice you need


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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily of the Nile View Post
    Just because you wake 6-7 times a night for your baby doesn't mean someone who doesn't is doing the wrong thing or had their baby for the wrong reason. A breastfed baby would be different, but a formula fed baby would not need a feed that many times a night and I think that would be out of habit and not a good one if you're feeding them small amounts of formula 6-7 times overnight to fall back asleep.
    Motherhood doesn't equal martyrdom. You need to sleep and babies do too, if someone is unhappy with something, you change it. If pp isn't happy with the sleep routine then she's finding a way to change it. She never said she's leaving her baby alone all night to cry alone, she never said she won't respond to a distressed cry. Leaving a baby to self settle is actually good, and self settling isn't crying it out, babies do have the ability to roll around, or coo or whatever and put themselves to sleep. That's soothing themselves and it's not wrong.
    I don't mean to be mean, but as a mother of 2 babies atm telling a mum to just suck it up and to run to every noise or that they should be getting up 6-7 times and live on no sleep because you do is just wrong. It might work for you but sleep deprivation can be very bad for your health and well being and it needs to be remedied.
    This! Yes yes yes!!!


 

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