…… double post - sorry.
…… double post - sorry.
Last edited by HugsBunny; 06-06-2012 at 15:24.
Personally I didn't like timing my response, I went in when I felt they were getting too upset.
You know your baby best, I suggest you look up controlled crying, no-cry sleep solutions and responsive settling (what MamaC described) and see what fits with your parenting philosophy. Hope you get some sleep soon
It's not okay to let a six month old cry hysterically. A whingey, tired cry is okay in my opinion but not for longer than about 3 minutes or so.
That was my yardstick - I'd put DS down, leave the room and if he started to cry I'd leave it for 3 minutes to see if it was just a tired cry and he settled down. Any longer than that & I went back in to settle him. If the cry sounded distressed at any point I went straight in - didn't wait the 3 minutes.
My DS has self settled from about 6 months following this routine and still goes to bed awake and happy as an almost 3 yr old. I think you are giving them a valuable life skill to be able to self settle as long as you are doing it in a way that doesn't allow distress or prolonged crying. It also depends on the child, some are in no way ready for this at 6 months.
You don't need to hold him or rock him to sleep, but you do need to give him the reassurance and feeling of safety that it's okay for him to fall asleep by himself. This means going in and resettling him everytime he becomes either distressed or cries for longer than 3 minutes.
Uneducated question here but I just wanted to hear the responses. Why isn't it okay to let them cry to sleep?
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so i guess i didn't let them cry but tried to avoid picking them up unless i had to. My aim was to find a balance between keeping them as happy as possble while teaching them to self-settle.
Self settling is fine so for me that meant a whinge for a couple of minutes or talking to themselves in their cot, rolling around, doing whatever they want and sleep. But 5-10minutes of real crying? No I've never done that, for me if they were really crying they'd get too worked and I never had them fall asleep upset because I think it makes them even more tired and they don't get a proper sleep.
It's very very tricky at this age, 6months is hard because they're more aware now. I don't have any book suggestions but I know theres alot of methods you can use that doesn't necessarily mean holding or rocking them to sleep and not leaving them to cry it out.
Good Luck, it really is a hard thing.
Subbing, have been thinking a lot about teaching baby #2 to self-settle.
subscribing as Id like to see more replies on this too
I think there are some fairly well balanced responses. Somewhere between you dont have to pick them up/walk the floor and nurse them everytime but not to let them literally get distressed seems to be tue majority vote.. which seems reasonable Im a huge softy and even when I try to let mine settle himself I just cant stand to hear him cry for more than 2 minutes anyway hehe
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