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  1. #11
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    …… double post - sorry.
    Last edited by HugsBunny; 06-06-2012 at 16:24.

  2. #12
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaC View Post
    What sort of a cry is it? Just a bit of a whinge or a real heartbreaking cry? My eldest used to whinge herself to sleep. I think its ok as long as your son isn't getting distressed.

    Follow your instinct, if the cry sounds like a real cry as opposed to a bit of a whinge then go in and soothe him. Try to resettle him in the cot if you can. So recover him in his blankets or reswaddle him, put your hand gently on his chest and soothe him in the cot, pat him, say shhhhhh and then leave when he's drowsy. And if he wakes after 20 minutes, then do it all again.

    Don't lose heart, be gentle and persist
    This us what we did.like a PP said, you well get many varied opinions and these threads can get heated. If you are not comfortable leaving your bub to cry, then don't, but there are lots of different cries. A whinge or a grizzle is very different to all out hysterical screaming.
    Personally I didn't like timing my response, I went in when I felt they were getting too upset.

    You know your baby best, I suggest you look up controlled crying, no-cry sleep solutions and responsive settling (what MamaC described) and see what fits with your parenting philosophy. Hope you get some sleep soon

  3. #13
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    It's not okay to let a six month old cry hysterically. A whingey, tired cry is okay in my opinion but not for longer than about 3 minutes or so.

    That was my yardstick - I'd put DS down, leave the room and if he started to cry I'd leave it for 3 minutes to see if it was just a tired cry and he settled down. Any longer than that & I went back in to settle him. If the cry sounded distressed at any point I went straight in - didn't wait the 3 minutes.

    My DS has self settled from about 6 months following this routine and still goes to bed awake and happy as an almost 3 yr old. I think you are giving them a valuable life skill to be able to self settle as long as you are doing it in a way that doesn't allow distress or prolonged crying. It also depends on the child, some are in no way ready for this at 6 months.

    You don't need to hold him or rock him to sleep, but you do need to give him the reassurance and feeling of safety that it's okay for him to fall asleep by himself. This means going in and resettling him everytime he becomes either distressed or cries for longer than 3 minutes.

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    Uneducated question here but I just wanted to hear the responses. Why isn't it okay to let them cry to sleep?

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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neekie View Post
    To the mums who don't agree on letting the baby cry, do you mean i should be holding my baby till he falls asleep? every time?
    I used to rate the cry from 1-10, 1 being a whinge and 10 being all out hysterics. When it got to a 3 or 4 i would go in and pat (so bub was still in the cot). And if it got beyond that and they weren't calming, I would pick them up to settle them.
    so i guess i didn't let them cry but tried to avoid picking them up unless i had to. My aim was to find a balance between keeping them as happy as possble while teaching them to self-settle.

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    MamaC  (06-06-2012)

  7. #16
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Quote Originally Posted by donniesweet View Post
    Uneducated question here but I just wanted to hear the responses. Why isn't it okay to let them cry to sleep?

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    Have a look at the link MsMummy provided on the previous page

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  8. #17
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    Self settling is fine so for me that meant a whinge for a couple of minutes or talking to themselves in their cot, rolling around, doing whatever they want and sleep. But 5-10minutes of real crying? No I've never done that, for me if they were really crying they'd get too worked and I never had them fall asleep upset because I think it makes them even more tired and they don't get a proper sleep.
    It's very very tricky at this age, 6months is hard because they're more aware now. I don't have any book suggestions but I know theres alot of methods you can use that doesn't necessarily mean holding or rocking them to sleep and not leaving them to cry it out.
    Good Luck, it really is a hard thing.

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    I like the sound of the second option here and intend to try it

    http://www.parentingscience.com/infa...-training.html

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    Subbing, have been thinking a lot about teaching baby #2 to self-settle.

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    subscribing as Id like to see more replies on this too

    I think there are some fairly well balanced responses. Somewhere between you dont have to pick them up/walk the floor and nurse them everytime but not to let them literally get distressed seems to be tue majority vote.. which seems reasonable Im a huge softy and even when I try to let mine settle himself I just cant stand to hear him cry for more than 2 minutes anyway hehe

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