*spin off* Working mums and down time

**BlissedOut** · 04-06-2012 23:30

I don't work.

I had a second kid quickly so it could amuse the first one, I have a cleaner who comes weekly and does the real cleaning, I just vacuum and mop as needed and do washing and dishes (all relatively easy with little kids). I take my kids to playgroups to socialise them (and me!) and do lots of educational activities at home. I book my appointments around my husbands work schedule where I can and begrudgingly take them with me if I can't.

**RobinSparkles** · 04-06-2012 23:43

Originally Posted by BlissedOut

I don't work.

I had a second kid quickly so it could amuse the first one.

Lol!

**Rose&Aurelia** · 05-06-2012 07:30

I wake up an hour before DD does (so 5am vs DD's 6am) and go to bed an hour after (8.30/9pm vs DD 7.30/8pm) for the daily jobs ie cooking for day, putting laundry on cleaning toilets(morning), kneading dough for bread, ironing and mopping floors (evening)

Generally work is flexible and will let me leave early/start late for appts but if I cant get them on a tues afternoon, then I book them in the city at lunchtime on non -work days so my mum can babysit DD whilst I go to them. My mum takes a long lunchbreak and it really does help significantly.

tho with new bubba due now ish I will have to reschedule my day in the first few months.

**sunshine80** · 05-06-2012 07:59

Since DS turned one, any help/visitors kinda dissipated and being single, I get Zero relief most days. Childcare is not an option for me - I can't take DS shopping etc as he climbs out and runs off each time, it's impossible. I have him in care a few days now just to have a break. I'll also be returning to work p/t and will shop during lunch breaks.

**sunshine80** · 05-06-2012 08:04

Interesting that no-one has said 'DH does it'... Being working mums. Why is it always the mums that have to juggle it all??

**kw123** · 05-06-2012 08:31

Originally Posted by sunshine80

Interesting that no-one has said 'DH does it'... Being working mums. Why is it always the mums that have to juggle it all??

My DH works 60 hour weeks and I'll be doing about 30-35 when I go back so don't think it's fair for us even to have a "even" division of the domestic stuff. Having said that he has always done more than his share of cooking and cleaning before we got pregnant so I know he will pull his weight. I didn't realise how lucky I was in that regard until recently. Seems that some partners do nothing! I could not stand that and I doubt we would still be married!!

I am sure I will do most of the domestic stuff when not working for this year, although possibly not the first 12 weeks or so of bubs arrival! He has already said he doesn't expect that though and will help with cooking and shopping etc.

**SassyMummy** · 05-06-2012 09:24

Back when my mother was parenting full-time, her breaks were when she went out at night and left us with Dad (very rare) or when we went to stay with our grandparents (rare). There were no breaks otherwise. I imagine you just cope.

I never had "time away," from DD before she was 3.5. I went out maybe once or twice without her before that time, but it was hardly regular. Her father worked all day, and usually weekends too, and so I could never just say, "can you watch her for a few hours?" I just did everything WITH her instead.

I still do most things with her.

**ShanandBoc** · 05-06-2012 09:34

I dont know how u all cope reading this! Im a SAHM and its hard enough getting me time as it is. I think i would have a breakdown if i had to work as well. Hats off to you all....it must be really difficult to juggle it all

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**Uh-Oh** · 05-06-2012 10:16

Originally Posted by sunshine80

Interesting that no-one has said 'DH does it'... Being working mums. Why is it always the mums that have to juggle it all??

I mentioned in my post that DH also works ft. Everything I wrote applies to both DH and I, I also mentioned that when DS is asleep it is time for either DH or I to get something done.

A fair few posters have also mentioned that their DH as the kids whilst they go to appts. or get something done.

Our relationship is equal, but the question was directed to me as a working mum and how I get downtime, I guess I didnt realise I would have to mention that whilst I watch the voice as my downtime DH is doing the dishes. Previous threads of asked how a 'family' does it and I mention what DH does.

**jbish** · 05-06-2012 10:44

[QUOTE=WorkingClassMum;6608421]Down time, yeah....

I didn't have kids to be rid of them either, but I am first and foremost an individual and a person and I need time to recharge my batteries and regain perspective - and that includeds being away from work as well.

QUOTE]

Couldn't agree with you more! My job is stressful and very demanding. I work 4 days, from 8am to 5.30pm and don't get home until 6.

My DP works from 6-2 every day so he actually does most of the domestic stuff on the afternoons when he gets home. He picks DD up from childcare 2 days a week, cooks dinner on the days I work and trys to do a general tidy up.

When I get home, I feed DD, bath her, do the bedtime routine & after she's in bed, clean up. Do washing etc. Once that's done, its tv or a book and then bed.

Down time for me is usually every now and then on a weekend when DP isn't working, I will go out for a coffee or shopping or something for a few hours on a saturday morning.

I'm also lucky enough that my DD still has a nap during the day, so usually on a Friday when she is napping, i'll stop housework, put my feet up and have a coffee for half hour to an hour depending on how much she sleeps.