*spin off* Working mums and down time

[share a book]

In another thread, a poster mentioned using childcare for a break and to get things done like shopping and cleaning, and someone asked how she will do those things if working on the childcare days.

Personally I only ever used childcare for the purpose of paid work, so never had a break or childfree shopping until dd was 6 and in school.

How do you get things done if you have no childfree time?

How do you get down time without having your kids in care other than for paid work?

For me, I involved dd in cooking and cleaning, gave her a list at the shop so she could help, and had my down time when she went to bed at night.

Does anyone have any helpful tips for either working mums without care outside work hours, or mums at home without care?

[DailyDiversion]

I am on mat leave at the moment but normally work part-time(3 days/week) which was the only reason why I used daycare for DD.

4 year old DD still has 2 kindy days a week at daycare while I am on leave but I always have DS at home with me.

I use online shopping for groceries and for domestic chores I wear DS in the ergo and DD "helps" me. She loves cooking.

I use the slow cooker a lot and/or do dinner prep in the late morning / early afternoon. I also often do double dinners ie.casserole one night then potpies the next with the leftovers.

I make appointments for the hairdresser/dentist etc for early Saturday mornings and DH looks after the children or I sometimes just take them with me during the week.

DH is a pretty hands on father so I just take advantage of small moments when I can to have a bubble bath, read a book or listen to music etc for my "downtime".

I also sometimes just enjoy downtime with the kids as well. Eg. we often have a picnic in the backyard then lay on the blankets finding shapes in the clouds. DD also likes going for walks and going to cafes so we do that a bit as well.

[MyCheekyMonkey]

I'm lucky DD is 28 months and still has an afternoon nap, so on the 4 days I'm not at work I'm rushing around like a mad woman for those 2-3 hours she's napping.

Otherwise things get done when she goes to bed.

Oh how I long to have a day for 'me'!

[Lemonhead]

I just do everything with the kids around.
If we have to go t an appointment- they come with me. Shopping-they come with me.

I didn't have babies to have a break lol. I leave them with DH when I want to but its not very often, and usually at night so I am not missing out on them. Work in itself is "time off"

[missie_mack]

I have at times used a cleaner- I found what she did took 1/2 the time it would take me and for the extra bit of money it was worth it to have stress free family time. Other times I use to saddle my DS up on my back and clean. I found if you did a little bit as you went it wasn't so bad.

FWIW I never left my kids in childcare more than the bare minimum we could. We don't have babysitters and just make do. I am however blessed to have a DH who treats me as an equal and has never expected me to do all the housework regardless of how many hours I worked. However I think if I was a single parent it would be different, particularly with more than one child.

[Benji]

I leave DS with DP if I need or want to go out. I'm a mother but also human and I'm so very lucky to have a loving partner who respects this. If I want to go out with my girlfriends to dinner, then movies then heck just hang out with them until 1 am I just go. As does he.

Unfortunately when I was a single mum I had no downtime. There was nobody to help whether I worked or not. If I needed a pap smear....guess who came along

[Lemonhead]

If I needed a pap smear....guess who came along

[Uh-Oh]

Both DH & I work ft..We have DSs bedtime routine down to a fine art. He is in bed asleep by 7pm, sometime my down time is simply doing this.. sitting on bh watching the voice. Or i get to have a long shower, or I do some chores once DS is in vbed. Also means that either DH or I can go out leaving the other at hme knowing DSs will sleep soundly.

Apart from that, we take DS pretty much everywhere. My parents have him probably on average 1 a month for an afternoon, or night (on the weekend). Occassionally they will take him out on a saturday morning but generally he just does everything with us. Doc appts, groceries, vet etc.

I also have lotsa lunch dates with girlfriends, so i socialise on my lunch break.

We're also pretty flexible too, whilst we are strict with DSs bedtime, we also take him to dinner (even if means in his pjs) if we are going out for dinner. We go to my parents once a week for dinner and hes up later that night..

[MsMummy]

I either take my son to appointments with me, or leave him with my partner if i can make it a weekend or evening appointment.

Grocery shopping I take my son with me generally, and personal shopping I do in my lunch break on work days as I work in the city so have access to most shops.

With cleaning, I do it while he's there, or we do it on the weekend while the other parent entertains him.

It would be a lot harder as a single parent. I would have to rely on friends more to look after him for appointments where I couldn't take him.

[sunshine80]

Since DS turned one, any help/visitors kinda dissipated and being single, I get Zero relief most days. Childcare is not an option for me - I can't take DS shopping etc as he climbs out and runs off each time, it's impossible. I have him in care a few days now just to have a break. I'll also be returning to work p/t and will shop during lunch breaks.