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  1. #1
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    Default No help when bub arrives...share your thoughts and stories and advice...

    Hi preggo mummies as well as mummies here,

    I am giving birth mid Oct and seriously wondering if I can cope when bub arrives. My mum plans to come to help me but plan is changing as she has other commitments towards my bro and sis children back in her country.

    Dh only has 5 days paternity leave and he has used up his leave for our holiday. He has only been 6months in this new job. We have DS who is turning 7 when bub arrives. I had help with DS so really uncertain about not having help with new bub.

    Just wondering what your thoughts are about doing it myself. I thought of catering food (i used one in my first trimester) so I need not worry about cooking. And also probably getting a part time cleaner who comes to do general cleaning and helping me with laundry.

    I will probably be the main care giver in the day, when DH comes home I thought I could get a sleep and then I will resume taking care of bub in the nite so DH could get some sleep. Am I being idealistic?

    Ds is quite independent and helpful, he can follow the schedule I set up though at times he does play up. I am not entirely sure how he will cope when bub arrives ESP pyschologically but we are doing everything we can to prepare him. I also have a large pooch in the house to take care of. I can engage a dog walker no probs.

    Any advice is appreciated. Or if you think it is best I can get some help, tell me frankly. We also want to hear any stories of you coping well on your own.

    Ta!

  2. #2
    HugsBunny's Avatar
    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Hi and congrats !!!!

    Honestly, I wouldn't worry about the catering food, jut start making double batches of whatever you cook now and freeze the left overs.

    A part time house cleaner would be helpful for a few months and I would just sleep when bub sleeps as your DS would be in school yes?

  3. #3
    munchkin05's Avatar
    munchkin05 is offline just me, my boy and my baby bump
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    I had a csection 3 and a bit weeks ago and being a single mum I have had to do everything on my own ..

    I also have a 7year old a dog and cat
    I spent 3 days in hospital and my parents had my 7year old but other than that it's all be on my own

    The only thing I've changed is I have a cleaner come in once a week because I can't vacume or mop

    I cook when bubs is down during the day (which is never for long ) and just reheat when it's time for dinner
    I do DS homework with him while I'm sitting feeding bub so then she's nice and quiet
    then when bub goes to sleep (normally around 830) I goto bed aswell so I'm still getting a decent amount of sleep

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    I would def keep the cleaner and get a dog walker and start freezing food. But as your 7 year old will be in school does this make it a bit easier? Can you get some help with school drop off and pick up?

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    It's your second. You will cope. It's not like the first time around where you had no idea what you were doing. I am having my third soon, have 2 others 5 and under and will have no help. I will cope ok because we have to. Sure sometimes one kid or another will have to wait, we may be late for school or kinder on the odd occasion, but you survive. I have no help because my partner will have to go back to work as soon as the baby arrives. Due to the nature of his job and it's distance from home, his leave is taken up waiting for the baby to arrive. You will be fine with a 7yo. Just make sure you have their clothes laid out at night for school the next day, make lunch the night before and put it in the fridge and you can even have their breakfast partially ready. You may need some extra help if you have a c/s, but otherwise you will be fine. When my second arrived I actually wondered what I had done all day when I only had one, newborns sleep all the time.

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    Agree with everyone, i dont think its going to be a huge issue.

    Couple of onths prior start making double batches of food to freeze, even lunch box stuff for your other cld, muffins savoury or sweet, scrolls, quiches etc.

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    I had no help with my first and i swear it was the best thing, Im pregnant and due in Oct as well this time round as my youngest is only going to be 3 i will be having my lovely MIL come and stay for a week, ( she is from qld ) and its up to me if i want to wait until after bubs is born or earlier.

    About 3 months before bubs is due, go on a major cooking spree and freeze them... it works wonders!! Again try to sleep when bubba is sleeping. I dont think that u are being unrealistic for when ur hubby comes home that he can watch the kids for a few hours. I am going to be doing the same here.

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    Honestly... I think you are worrying for no reason.

    If you are hiring a part time cleaner and not cooking meals i don't think you will struggle too much as cleaning and cooking are the things that don't really get done when a new baby is in the house.

    If your 7 yr old will be at school for 6 1/2 hours each day you can just sleep while bub sleeps and when your DH comes home you can sleep or catch up on other stuff that needs doing.


    On a personal note - I send my
    DH back to work after a week so i can get into a routine quicker. He isn't here most mornings from 545am and isn't home til about 930pm (he does come home for 3 hours during the day to see the kids though). The longer he is home after a new bub, the more reliant I am on him around the house and it's just harder when he goes back to work.

    I'm most worried about school drop off and pick up when our new bub arrives in September but am thinking I'll just put the baby to sleep in it's capsule if it will be asleep during those times.

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    You will be fine I'm sure!!!

    When I had my first I was a single mum and wanted to do it all on my own and I did. Something I'm very proud of too!! In saying this my mum, my sister and other friends and family were never very far away. When my mum and sister came to visit it was all about the cuddles for the most part.

    Washing - if it got done it got done if didn't I didn't care I was having too much fun bonding with my DD.

    Cleaning - ditto

    Meals - big pots of stew spaghetti Bol etc or I went out for lunch and had a toast for tea.

    Best piece of advice was sleep when bubs sleeps so that's what I did and it made all the difference in the world!!! Yes I was tired from only a couple of hours sleep at a go but I wasn't exhausted.

    I'm sure when your partner comes home from work he is going to want quality time with bubs so let him have it. It means time for you to put your feet up and have a coffee and a shower. A hot shower will make all the difference in the world!!

    As for your 7yo make us of them include them in the stuff you have to do for bubs and the family (my DD is 3 and she already tells me she's going to be a great big sister and help change her jocks!!!). Will also give you an idea of how included your ds wants to be too. I suggest some special time set aside for him also when bubs is sleeping so he doesn't feel left out.

    I have every confidence you will be fine and if you need advice or just need to vent then bubhub is here

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    Sounds like you will cope well! When my second was born my mum was ready to help, but I actually coped so much better than I thought I would and there wasn't much mum could do!

    Good luck, I'm sure you'll be fine


 

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