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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    I am sorry for you loss, I know how you feel, i had my d&c on wednesday and like you my pregnancy was unplanned but very much wanted, i would give anything to have my baby back, I would have been 10 weeks tomorrow , to be honest its all i think about, my DH is like your hubby dosn't want to talk about it, just pretend that it never happened, which makes it hurt more, its his way of coping though, he wanted this baby so much and now its gone, he was so excited when i told him i was pregnant guys deal with thing different to us. I also desprately want another baby, but at the same time its my worst fear. I have been changing my mind several times a day as to whether i want to try again, i'm so confused, atm i am thinking i want to try but tomorrow i bet i will change my mind another 100 times, so i will let god/nature descide for me, when this first happened i had descided i wasn't having anymore its hard. I'm here if you want to talk.

    Quote Originally Posted by StretchmarkBarbie View Post
    Our baby passed away 3 weeks ago and I only had a D&C on tuesday last week. But all I can think about is getting pregnant. I would have been 10 weeks on this tuesday and its killing me. The pregnancy was not planned. In fact i was horrified to be expecting our 4th baby. But now i cant imagine life without another little one in our tribe.

    Im one of 6 kids and DH is one of 4 (sister passed away at birth though), so big families are the norm for us. I had gotten used to the idea of another and was so excited. Had picked out a cot, pram, change table etc. already.

    Only thing standing in the way is hubby. He is down right refusing to even talk about it or consider it. I feel like my heart is breaking over this. I was happy at 3. I am half way through uni and we are hoping to buy a home in the next 2-3 years. But i dont want that anymore. I want a baby more than anything. I dont know if its just because we lost one so recently and its how i am coping ith my grief or what.

    I am ment to be writing an assignment right now, but im on here thinking about babies and looking at other peoples posts about expecting their 4th. I feel like a woman possessed!!

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Perth WA
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm so sorry for your loss SMB.

    I think you both need time to process what had happened and to grieve the loss. I also think it's pretty normal to be feeling like you want to start TTC asap, it sounds like part of that grieving process.

    Just be open with your DH about how you are feeling and encourage him to talk as well. It might be that in 4 months you and DH touch base with this again and feel ready to move on from expanding your family or you might both be longing for that 4th bub. In the meantime, grieve your loss and be there for eachother

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    I am feeling sad for you. I hate to hear that anyone has had to go through this. I don't think there is any answers to your questions. I've lost 13 and have been through every emotion you mentioned and know that clear thinking comes with time. Just let him know how you feel and ask that he thinks about it and give yourselves some time.

    I hope for future happiness for everyone that has had sadness.

  4. #14
    StretchmarkBarbie's Avatar
    StretchmarkBarbie is offline Senior Member
    Winner 2009- Best Username Award
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I slept for probably less than 2 hours last night. Feeling so exhausted all the time but can't actually sleep. DH told me last night there is no chance in hell of us TTC a fourth baby and he will be getting a vasectomy. He was terrified when we found out we were pregnant and he says this is the universes way of telling us we are ment to stop now. So now I have to try come to terms with the fact that this is it. What if I can't thought What if I end up resenting him....


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